Why girls seem to think guys only go for looks?

I personally don't think that is true at all! I am a good example, there was this girl that I liked and I know most people didn't find her attractive and in part I didn't either, but what attracted me about her, was how easy going she was, how responsible and how when she wanted to something she went for it and one thing was how she didn't play any games and how she tried to "conquer" me, something that girls rarely do.

Also there is this girl who is fat and to be honest ugly, but she has a very good looking boyfriend (no homo), or somebody who could get somebody more attractive than her. There are other examples as well, but you do get the point.

Updates:
Why girls don't believe that personality can overtake beauty sometimes?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I need a reasonable amount of physical attraction. She doesn't have to turn heads but she has to take care of herself.

    Now what is crazy is how some women believe that their gender isn't as shallow as ours. Complete poppycock. How often do you see a skinny attractive girl with a fat guy? It doesn't happen.

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What Girls Said 18

  • I think those examples are rare occurrences.sure it can happen, but its rare.I've got fat friends that attract a lot of guys (they do tend to have gorgeous faces tho)

    But overall, most guys aren't jumping to date the chubby and ugly girls with cool personalities.pretty girls usually always get first choice.

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  • Nope it's not true. I used to think it was. I've seen some really hot guys with all kinds of women. A lot of guys tell me I'm gorgeous and once they get to know me they want nothing to do with me. Looks only get people to approach you, 1st date, and maybe laid. Doesn't really get you a good relationship.

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  • You & that guy are rare. And if you do not know that guy, there may be something else in the mix...like $$$. You never know.

    Now to answer your question...Not to sound jaded, but women seem to think guys only go for looks b/c: this is this first thing they usually go for because it is the first thing they see. Men are visual. They do go for looks. If they happen to get to know a less attractive woman first, and think she's great, then they may hit it off. But that's usually the exception not the rule.

    Your statement of "I personally don't think that is true at all!" is naive at best, it only speaks for you, and surely you know that men do go for the good looking women. At your age you KNOW this.

    How many times have you heard men in bars saying, "Dude, check out that ugly chick over there! Forget that beauty! I want that fat babe."

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  • How could we NOT think guys only go for looks/think looks are most important?

    Growing up, I've listened to guys talk, seen the girls who get talked about and chased, read stuff guys write, etc. If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck...you know the rest.

    When observation and when there's PLENTY of evidence to show that guys prefer looks most of all, then that's it.

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  • Not all guys are that way, but a bunch are. I think some girls don't realize that some guys do look deeper. Or even once they get to know you discover how wonderful a girl's personality is. Some girls are shallow and judge by looks also, but again some look for personality and character. It just depends on the person.

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  • Because all you ever see is guys looking at your appearence and body parts and hearing things like "she's hot" etc. I have yet to hear a guy talking about a girl using the words beautiful or smart or easy going etc to describe her, its always physical. I overhear men on the train every day talking about women in a purely physical way "I'm seeing this girl" "Oh is she hot?"

    In a way society has driven it, but also biologically men ARE visual creatures... it's not accidental.

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    • I have to agree with your answer. The only time the personality really seems to be noticed and praised is when the girl is either just a friend or she is already his girlfriend. The reality is that the guys are going to go for looks first when approaching someone at least form a female perspective.

  • Everyone typically goes for looks. If a girl and guy both had to go up to someone and talk to them and get to know them. They're both likely to choose someone they each find attractive. That's just how life works.

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  • Your update question is totally different than your original question. Personality can "overtake," as you call it, beauty. Actually, I think a good or great personality usually does win out over looks most of the time if a man is truly interested in finding a relationship and not looking for a fling, a one night stand, etc. Same with women.

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  • experience. but no, I don't really think guys only go for looks--but they play a huge part on what they go for.

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  • I believe looks play a huge role in gaining a guys interest in us. This is what media has taught us. But in the end its the personality that wins

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  • I've never seen a guy date a girl who he didn't feel lucky to f***. Even girls who are in the same looks "range' seem to be put down by guys of similar attractiveness, because he only felt so-so for her and "GOTTA HAVE IT" for the hotter girls, therefore, placing value on her by how much desire she could create and stirrings of jealousy in other men.

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  • Whenever a guy asks about a girl to me or ask about one of my friends the first statement out of his mouth is "is she hot?" They never ask how nice, compassionate, smart, or funny she is. If you introduce them to a 10 personality but the looks are a 5, then they feel like you are setting them up or hate them. It's hard to believe they actually look at personality given the fact that their actions say otherwise. However, it is refreshing to see guys out there like you. I sincerely hope you are genuine and not a fake.

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  • I think girls are sort of taught to expect that. Like we are told guys only go after that one thing and they go after it by the way the girl looks

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  • I think its just how the media is. You won't see an ugly fat girl as the lead in MOST movies or w.e. Women are more often idealized by how good their looks are. So in turn we think we have to compete. Also as far as men go. NOT SAYING ALL...but normally if you look at what guys are sometimes looking at, in magazines, hanging on their walls or w.e, the girls are well...skinny & attractive. Often when a guy talks about women he's either talking about how sexy and hot she is, or making fun of how unattractive she is. Even if a guy likes a girl for just her personality. It would suck being with someone who didn't find you attractive physically as well. Girls are just as bad sometimes. Everyone is sometimes shallow, but it takes more than looks to sometimes be someone.

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  • Some of it probably comes from personal experience. If a girl liked a guy but he completely ignored her or put her in the friend zone to chase after someone the girl that was comparatively "prettier" than she would likely have this view. If it happens more than once then it becomes ingrained and perceived as the truth.

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  • Majority Rules.

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    • what do you mean?

    • The Majority of guys want to get to know a girl better because of how she looks.

      Just like whoever gets elected president, they'll say America voted for them. When everyone did not.

      So a lot of girls assume all guys feel this way, just because so many of them do.

    • @ update it can. It's just not as common

  • good point. I have seen a lot of ugly girls with some pretty good looking guys.

    idk. it just feels like guys are judging out every move.

    sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough to be liked by them. like if they're checking me out, I think always wonder why. I'm not even that great looking.

    and also, some guys tend to ignore the ugly girls and are usually nicer to the pretty girls. so it makes us think that they're shallow.

    maybe not all guys are so into looks, like you say you're not.

    i think some guys might think girls are also only into looks too.

    but I've liked some pretty unattractive guys. what I liked about them is their personality. they were really sweet guys and that made they turned attractive, at least in my eyes. I'm not sure if other girls can look past the guy's looks but I certainly can.

    so I guess it varies. I'll try not to be so judgmental myself and think that all guys are shallow.

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  • Because the media portrais it that guys only go for the "pretty girls"

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What Guys Said 8

  • Ok people be honest with yourselves, looks do matter. Before you down me let me explain. It's appropiate to put looks as a top priority when initially getting to know someone, but it takes more than looks to have a good relationship. A relationship would be bad if it was based solely on looks and sex. To me if that person doesn't have a good personality then it just won't workout.

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  • Well, in my opinion I think there has to be some form of physical attraction. I have seen it many times, that a girl could be a 6 or 7 (in my opinion) in looks but her personality makes her a perfect 10. Even though in saying that, people still call me shallow -_-.

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    • I think we're all called shallow for this reason. -_-' It get's kind of annoying.

  • There are exceptions to the rule; you are one of them. Guys are generally stimulated by visual cues.

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  • yeah, I know, all of the hot, cute, pretty girls I've been interested in, attracted too, that were taken already, were dating a pretty attractive guy, in shape, tall, rugged, etc.

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  • Hmm.. well, they say, all fingers in a hand are not the same and I think it stands true for boys..

    Most of my friends for example give preference to pretty girls but I for one look for the inside beauty rather than the outside one.. :)

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  • girls are weird like that

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  • Not ALL guys go for looks. But when someone says all, they don't really mean all. I, just like you, know tons of guys! And a good % of them only go for looks. So yes girls have very good reason to think all guys go for looks.

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  • i know, it's too debateable

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