Does a guy have the right to tell his girl how to keep her hair?

I have this friend, let's call her Cindy since that's her name. =) Her husband tells her when it's time to die her hair (she's prematurely graying and has been since high school). When she cut her hair short, he told her cutting her hair was a "family decision." What do you guys and girls think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • hair, just as with anything else, is a body part and what is done to it is solely up to the person whose body it is. personally I feel that he was totally in the wrong to say those things to her. she is not his property and neither is any part of her body, including her hair. married or not, he does not own her.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Get hair-wax and spike it for spite! No, just kidding! Personally, that's sounds like a little too much. I think this guy's behind a few decades.

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  • there is no family decision.

    Not when it comes to do with someone's personally attributes like that. If he does not like it...and she asks him his opinion.. possibly only then can give his opinion.

    If he loves her...he should not be ashamed of her...if he wants her to be happy...then he holds her and tells her she's beautiful. ..Or a sarcastic..."oh! what have I done! (as he looks at his ring)" "!" . =p

    No. Its her hair...

    He can f*** off. Next thing you know is he'll be wanted to tell her how to do something else...

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  • He has a right to state his opinion. Maybe he derives sexual pleasure from her physical appearance and it's one of his needs in the relationship.

    She has a right to disagree. Maybe she wants to have control over her own body and thinks she isn't just a sex toy.

    If neither side caves and this issue is truly important, then breaking up is always an option. Obviously, personal opinions (such as mine) don't make it any more right or wrong. This is a decision the two of them have to settle.

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  • When my ex.gf got her hair cut shortrt (she used to have it mid back, then she cut it shoulder length) I was pretty pissed off. I saw no reason why she had to get it cut and she looked so much better with longer hair plus she loved her hair.

    She got it cut cause it was a spontaneous decision she made with one of her female friends. I told her I was upset that she didn't even consider telling me she was going to do that.

    So if a girl is going to cut her hair then she should definitely tell her guy, it's only fair you know?

    How would you like it if we suddenly shaved our head? Its the same thing for us.

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  • He can be more tactful about it. If he wants his girl to have a special haircut, then he can tell her, "hey; it would be totally sexy if if you styled your hair like such-and-such!" If he articulates himself like that, the she would be more likely to comply, and he effectively how to style her hair, and they are both happy.

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    • He could be more tactful but I hate when my husband says "you should do your hair/makeup/dress like that girl." if he wanted a girl that looked like that, he should have married her. and guys are always saying "you're trying to change me." it seems like everyone would be happy if they would quit trying to change each other. =]

    • Yeah (question asker), you should get a divorce. If you don't want to listen to each other then you're no good for each other. Have fun alone.

  • I think that a guy and a girl become one at marriage and that any decision should be made together. So a girl going out and getting a hair cut is unacceptable and should be discussed first. What if you had a bitch wife like britney spears that just chopped it all off? I'd be effing p*ssed! I wouldn't want to be seen with a girl that I don't approve of

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    • You have your right to your opinion and I think the "b*tch wife" does too.

  • he can ask, but he can't demand.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Sounds controlling and manipulative to me...

    family decision to cut her hair? telling her its time to dye her hair? Hrmm...

    Its one thing to tell her how he likes her hair..another thing to demand or expect her to involve him in the process somehow.

    Id start involving him in the decision making process of everything...from nail polish colours, to body lotions to scrubs and makeup...and there's tons of makeup choices..so we're going to be spending a lot of time in department and drugstore aisle while he gives me his opinion on exactly what shade I should wear for everything..including texture and staying power. I should dye my hair...excellent..lets look over every single box of hair colour to see exactly what shade and how much conditioning each should have...maybe we should interview salons too, so he can come with me to a few consultations to help me decide.

    Or he can chilll out and have better things to do with his time than micro-manage my hair strands.

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    • Hahaha. that's funny. I'll have to tell her that. =)

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    • I havnt been on here in awhile and just saw your reply! Thing is...he didn't tell me I should wear my hair like that...that would have been mental of him..hah! I did grow my hair out, but I never did (and wont) get that bi-level bob...and its a total non-issue. That's the difference...if he brought it up again that would be pushy...instead, it was just his creative way to make a suggestion... and I won't lie, I liked hearing I could rock anything better than Rhianna ;)

    • Im sure you could!

  • He sounds massively controlling and possessive. Just because someone is married doesn't mean that person has control over their personal decisions. Her hair is hers, she is fully entitled to do whatever she wants without his comments. Cutting hair isn't a family decision, it's a personal one.

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  • He may/may not agree with a particular hairstyle but he has no right to demand she fix it a certain way. It's her head, her hair, her body, her life. He married her, not her hair. If he doesn't like it, he can not like it, that's fine. But getting angry to the point that he says that is a little much in my opinion. He's putting a bit of pressure on her to look a certain way. Definitely not cool in my opinion.

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    • He married her not her hair lol.

    • Lol ...well you know what I mean?! Her may have have been a factor when they got married, who knows but in the end, it shouldn't be such a big deal.

  • i think that guys can subtly hint by finding a photo in a magazine and saying, "oooh, I like this." this this particular guy sounds like a total control-freak and a whistle should be blown on this one.

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  • No! Her hair should be an outlet for her own self-expression. I mean, I can understand a guy telling his girl not to dye her hair green, but that's an extreme.

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  • a guy shouldn't have the right to tell his girl how to look.

    if he doesn't like her for who she is and just likes her for her looks then he shouldn't be with her

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  • He sounds way too controlling.

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  • No.

    I think this is an abusive relationship.

    Sure, he isn't hitting her (at least I hope not); but he's trying to control her every mov, and that's not right.

    It wouldn't be a "family decision" if he wanted to change his appearance somehow.

    Nothing will change unless she wants it to change.

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    • He's not abusive in a physical sense, but yes he is controlling.

    • I once had a babysitter similar to this.

      He told her when she could get her nails/hair done, and made her check in with him whenever she went out. Actually, she had to get permission to go anywhere or do anything outside of the house.

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