How to deal with getting uglier?

23 year old here.

I used to be attractive, not very attractive, but attractive enough so that some guys would find me datable. This was 2 years ago.

Fast forward to now, something is off about me. not getting as many looks or random men approaching me or any peers approaching me in school. my mom used to compliment me on my looks and paid more attention to me than my little sister (17), but now it seems like the only time she speaks to me is to complain about how crappy I look or don't eat that or this.

it's so hard being unattractive, when you were considered to be somewhat attractive before...

some things that have noticeably changed within the past years- I got more depressed, I have dark circles which needs to be concealed by makeup, I have trouble losing my belly fat.

my weight hasn't changed much, except it seems like I look more different, and I take one to 2 hour naps daily after I get home from school/work (I feel quite depressed these days) ... my mom convinces me that oversleeping will "uglify" my face and make me fatter...whether it's the truth-no clue...

is this the effects of aging? I'm trying to keep in shape by running 1-2 miles everyday and keeping a low-cal diet.

my face seems to have lost its vitality and when I wake up in the morning I just look all grey-ish and sh*t. I can't stand this any longer. I'm scared nobody will find me physically appealing any longer!

am I supposed to up the intensity of my workout and have a more strict-er diet the older I get?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The key word in all of this is "depression." The reason you aren't being approached isn't because of your looks, though they probably have declined some because of your depression. But the real cause is the lack of a positive, confident, fun attitude/personality, which is a side effect of your depression, as is sleeping so much.

    Contrary to popular belief, guys aren't just attracted to hot supermodels, but most guys WILL pass over a girl who is depressed and has a "downer" attitude, because that kind of attitude will drain all of the life and fun out of other people. And people can be around you for 30 seconds and see that lifeless look in your eyes and face and know they don't want anything to do with you.

    The answer is to DEAL with your depression. Try to figure out WHY you are depressed, and not just the symptoms, but the ROOT CAUSE. Then, assuming you can identify that cause, you can start to address it. If there's genuinely nothing in your life that could be externally causing your depression, it could be a hormonal imbalance and you may need medication, but IMO meds are WAY overperscribed as the "easy and profitable way out" of DEALING with depression, when more often, the real answer is some therapy.

    Anyway, I assure you that once you start resolving your depression, and your outlook on life begins to improve and you unconsciously start wearing a smile more often, guys will start paying attention to you again.


What Guys Said 2

  • well here's the deal your expecting the guys to only do the approaching and guys are not the only ones who have to. perhaps you need to take the initiative and approach a guy ... so.. stop thinking just because your the girl you have to be the attracting one ... guys try to attract girls too even when we try not to and maybe your not noticing them because your caught up in yourself

  • i think you don't. love yourself

    start love your own. I think others will starts liking you too.

    • yea, I've heard that a million times...

      it's hard to actually love yourself...: (

    • naah its nt hard. just smile and sing your fav song. its keep you happy. trust me ;)

What Girls Said 1

  • Well, if your not happy about your looks, change your look. Get a haicut, dress up, and try to be more confident. I don't know why people think that its the end of the world to gain a couple of pounds. Itll probably take sometime to lose weight. In the meantime, make the best of it. Dress nicely, do your hair, put on some makeup, and stay positive and you'll see how everything will start to change

    Oh and smile. It helps alot. :D

    Oh and get more sleep. Haven't you heard of beauty sleep? During your sleep, your body starts to detoxify itself and it also boosts your mood. The body needs sleep.

    • i'm sure it's not the lack of sleep...i think I'm getting too much of it

    • I don't think too much sleep is bad.

      Youre still young but my sisters friend said that by the early 20s,.we should start caring for our skin more. We should start using anti aging products and under eye products.

      Oh and alwayd wear sunblock. The sun damages our skin and it tends to show more and more as we get older

    • yea, I guess I need to start using anti-aging creams...:/