How do I portray a more mature demeanor?

I'm 22 years old. I have a job. I have a steady boyfriend. I have bills. I have a cat.

When I went to see Men in Black III the guy selling tickets checked my ID. Last weekend I tried to go out with my friends and got denied entrance to a bar because they thought my license was fake. When I met clients in the lobby this morning they asked if my mom or dad had brought me to work with them.

I wear sophisticated clothing (for the most part, sometimes I'm more casual, but rarely). I wear natural looking makeup. I style my hair. If anything is going to make me appear my age it's going to be my demeanor and attitude. Anyone have some good advice?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I know exactly what you mean. I'm 22 and still get asked "what grade are you in?" It can get annoying at work because people will think l don't know what l'm talking about or expect me to act a certain way. When l want people to take me seriously l have show them l mean business and let the way l present myself do a lot of the talking as well as making sure my words say l know what l'm talking about. Usually then people will listen but sometimes get really defensive which is when l back off enough to not appear threatening.

    Outside of that l get a kick out of it. I like asking people how old they think l am and enjoy watching them suspiciously check my id, etc. I also hope this means l look young for a while longer than normal.

    Try not to appear like an unsure teen and let your body language show your maturity as well as speaking like an adult. Avoid repeatedly using the words like, ya know, jus sayin, etc. Prove to people you know what you are talking about. All this tends to do me well.


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What Guys Said 6

  • Sorry if I find this funny, but I still have the same problem and I'm 33. I tried mature looking clothes and all the advice from how to look more mature guru's, none have worked like they should.

    The only way I have ever had people to accept my age and ID is if I made a big deal about and demanded to see a manager or a person with 20/20 vision or half a brain, I act like a total prick, which is age specific for a 30 year old hahahaha.

    In all cases I got into the dancing or got the beer I ordered with an apology.

    I'm sorry to say, but your just gonna have to live with it and do the best you can, this is coming from someone with the same problem.

    On the brighter side of the coin is that we age better and also look younger when we hit the really old ages of 50 and older, well I hope anyways hahahaha.

  • I thought you looked kinda young the first time I noticed your pic, but I figger it was just that silly hat you were wearing. Have you been wearin hats around town?

    • Nah, they're too expensive. I just go to hat stores and try them on.

    • Glad to hear it. Unless your head is cold, hats should always be tried on but never purchased. ; - )

  • Well I used to work the door at a club, and carding the people coming in was my job. So coming from someone who did this for a living, I have some information for you. When I was carding, it wasn't so much how they dressed or acted, but simply how old their face looked. I went to classes and had to get certified in human behavior and age spotting, as well as being able to spot a fake ID. It might simply be because you just look young, and are trying to look older that is throwing off the people carding you. I know that is a common practice for under age people to do, dress up to look older in hopes they can get in, when it is their face that gives them away. You are just falling into a crack in the system, where you are old enough, but don't look old enough, so they assume you are underage. There isn't much you can do about it, just keep being yourself, and relish in the fact that you are going to have a young, fresh look for many years :)

  • I don't think there is much you can do. You could walk with a cain, but that's about it.

    You look and are pretty young. Enjoy it while it lasts. It usually stops happening as often around 30. However, there are some 18 year olds that look like they're freakin' 30 and vice versa. That time will pass before you know it. I still get ID'd and take it as a compliment.

    I used to sell smokes and liquor. They actually do sting operations to get guys to let people drink without showing ID. In some cases cops have sent in incredibly sexy women to hit on the man who is supposed to uphold the rules. If he doesn't, he goes directly to jail.

    I think the rule is that you're supposed to ID anyone who looks under 30.

    • haha I laughed so loud when I read walk with a at work too hahahha

  • Many seem to think I'm 17 or 18 (still in HS) although I'm 19 and graduated. :p. I can relate, I doubt that anything will change though.

  • I'm 23, 5'8" and 120 lbs I have barely any facial hair and I don't do all the stuff you do just yet. I get carded because I'm short and thin, compared to being tall and fat (because as you get older, you get bigger), it's probably your weight and height. You can't do anything about your height (heels?)

    • My height and weight are pretty average, 5'5" and 112 pounds. I wear heels sometimes but I don't have a car and end up walking a lot, so I'm normally in flats.

    • You're not supposed to drive in heels, like I said, you're just out of luck when it comes to height and weight. Be happy that you aren't a guy at 5'8"

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