Do guys really understand the pressure for girls to be "hot"?

As you know, the media puts a ton of pressure on women, especially young women, to look perfect and to be beautiful/hot/sexy. I know it's unrealistic for everyone to look like that and I think a lot of people would argue that it's more about confidence and inner beauty, but it's undeniable that this pressure is there and is contributing to many girls' low self-esteem and even causing harm to their bodies. I am an educated, strong, intelligent woman with a lot to offer, yet I find myself only eating very healthy foods and killing myself in the gym just so I can meet this standard of "attractive" and make myself more appealing to men. I hate falling victim to this, but I think it's hard to get away from. So, in a nutshell, my questions are girls: do you think guys understand what some of us put ourselves through? do you feel pressured to look perfect? Guys: do you care or understand how some of us feel or do you think it's crazy? Also, I do know a handful of guys that are more concern and obsessed with out they look, so I know it's not just girls that feel this way, nor is it all girls that feel this way.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Self esteem problems are not exclusive to women. Plenty of guys face the same problems but only it's to be thin with muscle and cool clothes and a car and lots of money because girls are concerned with the same thing. But at least you have the message out there already from actual fashion models and certain magazines trying their best to tell you "no it's okay not everyone is meant to be a size 0" there are no such support messages for men telling them it doesn't matter how big your bank account is.

    You feel pressure, that's understandable, it's the way the world works, the beautiful people(both men and women) will always have the preferential treatment because almost every society puts a premium on beauty, but that's life and we all have to deal with crap hands we're dealt. If a guy won't treat you well because you;re not his perfect 10, then to hell with him. Treat yourself right be as healthy as you can be even if that still means you're a size 8 or whatever if you're happy with you then you'll attract the people that want to be around you and the same goes for guys too.

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What Guys Said 10

  • I think girls misinterpret males.

    Men care, I think, more then women about appearance.

    But.

    Men are more forgiving then women about appearance.

    For a guy to be so good looking that women are drooling, he has to be -incredible-. By contrast an average woman in decent shape dressed up right gets men drooling.

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  • Yes, most of us realize this. Most of us also think overdo things drastically. Women are in general much, much more critical on the appearance of other women, than men are.

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  • eating healthy and exercise should be done to be healthy and survive - not to merely look attractive. Being attractive is an incentive, yes, but it certainly isn't the only benefit. I acknowledge that few have the time to eat healthy and exercise due to societal expectations, making doing so anyway difficult, but nonetheless, until the day comes that an attractive body is not considered a healthy body, my sympathies are limited.

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  • there is just as pressure on guys in different ways and girls social norms allow them to have much more control over thier physical attractiveness so its a fare trade and the standards for guys looks are getting higher and higher wich is unfair since we don't have the social norm such as being able to wear makeup

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  • Do most girls realize the pressure the media puts on guys to be juiced up, loud, vain douchebags?

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  • Same applies for men, and I think we all understand the pressures involved.

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  • You think it's easy to have jacked shoulders, chiseled pecs and six pack abs with the "v" muscle etc etc.?

    get over it, if I have to work super hard and constrict my diet to look "hot" you can do the same

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    • there is not nearly as much pressure for guys to have slamin bodies at least not in America

  • No worse than the pressure men are under to be successful in pretty much all areas of life.

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  • So.. what solution you desire to your problem?

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  • We do realize this. We generally aren't as picky as girls think we are, though. I would like to add that we are under a lot of pressure as well. It's just not as much about being physically hot as it is with girls.

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    • Girls are way more critical about other grils than guys are about girls.

    • Girls are way more critical about other girls than guys are about girls.

What Girls Said 4

  • The girls who feel pressure to be "hot" are only inflicting it on themselves. I'm a girl and I feel no such pressure. Like you said yourself, confidence and inner beauty go a long way. You don't have to look like a super model to get a boyfriend, if anything looking like a model might keep a guy who's looking for a serious relationship away. Pressure comes from within, from your expectations of yourself and what YOU think you need to do. If you were confident in yourself, you wouldn't feel pressured to look like a model you would just do whatever makes you happy. Like the anon guy mentioned the media does the same thing with guys as it does with girls, it's not like it's one-sided.

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  • there is a pressure and guys have no idea in my opinion...

    I mean what's normal is considered ugly and girls are doing surgeries on their genitals and so on...

    For me I must say I don't feel good enough and that's why I never been intimate with a guy I am trying to be as fit as possible so I can do that someday and no I am not overweight...

    I just wanna look the best I can be

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  • quite honestly even I don't get what some girls put themselves through to maintain that standard of "attractiveness". Going to the gym eating healthy why is that difficult? I mean some girls don't even have the privilege to step foot in an affordable gym; setting aside the cost of a healthy diet, so if you can afford it than why complain about something that you are paying for? Girls that fall into the crowed of I am "too" fat, I am "too" skinny, my body isn't perfect never truly had their own beat to begin with. By nature they aren't leader's but followers. If the media can control them, than that's that. They should at least try to be individuals

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  • No. I feel pressured to wear make up to events and dinners but I don't feel pressured to look perfect.

    Even though the pressure is there I appear the way I want, which means no make up, no tan, and not changing my weight/size for the sake of pleasing people.

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    • Tbh I think everyday girls set the standard, not the media, I still think they can remain separate. All these girls in our day to day lives are pushing these factors, usually competing with each other, luring guys in.

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