How much do looks really matter?

Do you think it matters less, the older the guy is? I am into a guy and feel I am average, at best, look wise. I have never let it bother me because I always had friends who just accepted me for me and it was great and I like who I am. I like my smile and my dimples, and I know I have a great personality.

All my life though, I have been a tomboy. I wear jeans and t-shirts and hoodies. I never do much with my hair, just brush it out often and make sure its washed and nice. I don't wear make up, always taught growing up, natural beauty is best. However now I am starting to wonder if how I look or dress will matter most in the end? I never had a boyfriend, always just friends who are guys. I know I shouldn't change how I look to impress someone, especially since we known each other 2 months already and he has seen me this way. However, I have started wearing a few more cute girlie tops. I don't wanna change too much but I don't wanna look too boy-ish either. (pic in my profile, although its 5 years old) I look young for my age too, which I hate, because I feel older guys, which I prefer will only see me as a "kid" or "nice young girl" etc etc.

I prided myself on liking who I was and just being me and my great personality all these years but since I never had a boyfriend, I think maybe its not enough?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is purely dependant on each guy and what he likes. I like small, petite girls. That's just me and while I don't ask that she be a supermodel, she has to be pretty in my eyes. And while I like a girl who's not afraid to work hard and get dirty, I enjoy the feminine nature of a woman and really like it when she has a feminine/girly side to her. Again, it all depends on the guy. If there is anything I have learned over these past years is that the most attractive thing any person can do is to love yourself and who you are. If you love who you are, don't change for anybody. That said, change is crucial for growth and you need to ask yourself if you're just scared to change or not being open to things.

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    • i like this comment and your icon :) the thing is, the guy I like, lives next door and he dresses pretty "casual" too and so I assume since people probably are more laid back in their home lives its OK, but if we went out, id dress up for sure. he knows I work with dogs and working with dogs is a big reason I kept this look, its just easier lol lets face it I get dirty more than id like to :)

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    • life active and are the things you do putting you in contact with many others? I don't mean go be a social freak and live the party life but there are things we can do to make meeting potential spouses much easier and more frequently. And if it is your looks...doesn't mean you're repulsive. I youfeel like you could do more with how you look, I guess in terms of grooming and how you dress, then you should probably pay attention to that more. As I said before though, the most important thing is to

    • love who you are and what you do but be open to change. The girls have some great answers for you, I'd follow those. I'm on my iPhone right now, hence all the spelling mistakes haha. I'm jealous that you work with dogs!

What Guys Said 5

  • Who knows? I go with humor, personality, more than looks. And I have no problem with jeans/tshirt, but that is my look as well. Looking young means little, it is how you act...at least in my view.

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    • Good to know.

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    • Neighbor and friend. The neighbor part is what makes it hard... I feel like we have certain boundries we have to respect living right next door

    • I understand. You have to go with your feelings, including the boundaries. But to your question, your looks are good, don't change to much or you won't be you. I don't have the neighbor part, but worry about meeting her family (they know we are dating and my age)...I know it is cliche, but trust you gut feeling.

  • I think you have some natural beauty going on for sure. One thing you'll probably be against but it may clean up your look real fast is to go to a nail salon and get your eyebrows waxed. They could use a little shaping up. It's about $12 and it can totally transform your look. You have great features and awesome teeth!

    Then think about what what Visual says about either wearing a more fitted top or more fitted jeans to show off your figure. A little tiny bit of light lipstick wouldn't hurt and maybe some mascara.

    I personally like a girl that can wear jeans but I like to see her figure. I do like skirts when we go out. I don't like someone that looks like they spent all day getting ready for a date though. That's too much. But I think putting a little effort in to your look would help your cause.

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  • One of my friends (a girl), used to not take care of her appearance. She was average at best.

    Now I recently saw her, she started to actually try to dress nice and take care of herself... the difference is noticeable like night and day! She went from being '4' to being a '7', and a '7' is not bad at all in my opinion.

    Definitely take care of your looks and put some effort into it... but the most important part is that you are confident and comfortable with how you look and who you are!

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  • unfortunately looks count more than they should. but I find it very nice to see a tomboy turn into a wonderful woman. Up to you to define yourself how you see and want to bee seen as a woman.what so you consider feminine. and what parts to you want to emphasize. makeup and styling can dramatically "age" if done right.

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  • I think you look a little too tomboyish, try growing your hair out and dressing more feminine.

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    • I am trying to grow it out LOL that takes time and how do I change to be more "feminine" other than girlie shirts? I won't do make up

    • Hm...no make up? Wear more skirts and stuff. Take a look at girl magazines and take some hints.

    • thats really out of my style but I'll see. I don't wanna do too big a change and freak everyone out, a gradual change is better.

What Girls Said 2

  • Being completely honest, I think you are naturally pretty, I mean no makeup at all and your skin looks perfect! And full lips with a nice smile! But I think making a bit of an effort, lets say, style your hair and wear natural makeup for example, with flattering clothing will make such a difference in attractive any guy you want. Yes, you can wait till a guy finds you, but what if YOU want a guy... why should you wait when you can get one yourself. .. don't look at my pic cause I am wearing black eyeshadow haha, but makeup and dressing in flattering clothing isn't changing/hiding who you are, its 'selling' and 'enchancing' who you are. Most of all, I think if you make yourself attractive to more than one type of guy, it will let them discover how beautiful your personality is (realistically we live in a shallow world for first impressions) enabling a better chance at finding love because you have more guys at disposal. :)

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    • Thanks, that is very nice of you. I will try to change to more girlie clothes sometimes. I don't wanna change too much too soon, it would make him wonder and kinda freak everyone else out, ha ha and I don't want it too obvious :) Just gradual

    • Yeah that is a good idea! :) good luck! (I found YouTube amazing for hair/makeup tutorials, used to be a tomboy too, still am inside, when I was 16 but decided that I wanted to land a guy ha ha so I can relate!)

    • its gonna be hell to rid my jeans! I have worn jeans every day as long as I can remember. it works well for me too with being around dogs all day. I am glad you can relate, I just wish my friends would of told me I was not attracting guys by looking/acting like one. lol oy...

  • How you look and dress is a good reflection of your personality so yes, it is a big deal.

    Mmm looking at your pictures I'd say you'd be a lot more attractive with a much more girlie top, tbh, I guess it is not enough.

    There are guys who like the kind of tomboy look but usually there has to be something fitted, either in pants or top, there has to be something to show off a nice figure. You can seriously get by and attract a lot of guys just wearing a hoodie, fitted jeans and sneakers. Usually your personality still has to be somewhat girlie though... How you sit and the manner in which you eat is also important too.

    You don't have to bother with makeup.

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    • Actually the whole point was about older guys, tbh you can disregard my answer then because I have no clue what they want.

    • Thanks! Ya I am more open to the girlie tops. Not flowerly haha, I've always hated that but just like the ones that show shape more, I got a few of those. Mostly I wear hoodies in the winter because its damn cold here :) I think I am girlie in some sense, I am not into sports much etc so those parts of me are not tomboyish

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