Why do I feel like I'm never gonna find that one person who thinks I'm beautiful?

My current boyfriend thinks I'm ugly and says hot hot other woman are when he's with me and my last boyfriend did the same thing. It just makes my self esteem go down more and more. Am I that ugly? I am almost too nice of a person sometimes and people walk all over me for that and when I try to not let that happen people call me a bitch. I want to find a guy that thinks I'm the most beautiful girl in the world. I'm 23 almost 24 and life seems to be going by while all my friends are getting married. I tend to me second option to all the guys I date. What does everyone think?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he's an ASSHOLE. Simple. He needs to find himself SINGLE, and QUICK. Secondly, you need to look at yourself as a beautiful woman. No matter HOW hot you are, if YOU think you're ugly, you WILL be ugly. So, THINK POSITIVE. My bet is that you ARE beautiful. You just got involved with the wrong guys. NO guy worth the substance he leaves behind in a toilet should *EVER* speak to a "girlfriend" or "wife" this way. It's called ABUSE. No, he didn't hit you, but it's ABUSE NONETHELESS. Emotional abuse can be, and often is, WORSE than actual PHYSICAL abuse. Bruises heal fast. Your MIND does NOT.

    GET THE F*** OUT, NOW. Tell him that he has a MICROPENIS and that you are DONE with him--find somebody who will treat you with RESPECT. REGARDLESS of what you "look like", you ARE an INDIVIDUAL, a HUMAN BEING. And, if I've said it once I've said it a million times, I would take a woman with those "little imperfections" (the scar here, the crooked nose, or the crooked teeth) ANY DAY over some "beer commercial chick" because the "imperfect" woman is UNIQUE--she's an actual INDIVIDUAL--and BEAUTIFUL IN HER OWN UNIQUE WAY. She is NOT a plastic replica of what society today deems "beautiful".

    Don't you worry, sweetie, I am CERTAIN, just by the way you write and sound, that you ARE a beautiful person inside and out and YOU *WILL* FIND THE RIGHT GUY! Look, what you ALSO need to realize is that it takes some people less time and some people more time to find the right one. It has NOTHING to do with how good you look and EVERYTHING to do with whether or not you are with the right person. You are CLEARLY *NOT* with the right person. You're WITH somebody, but NOT the right person. DITCH HIS RUDE ASS and find a DECENT guy. Don't be desperate. Don't despair. Just go about your life thinking POSITIVELY and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY. What I mean by THAT is be CLEAN, be READY to meet the right guy (dress nicely when you can, etc.) Believe me, it WILL happen! And, at the FIRST SIGN that you are with somebody like who you are with currently, DUMP HIM and don't look back. Once you set your standards to what you want, it WILL come to you. You may find him as the next guy you go out with, and it may take weeding through the next 30. Nobody knows. BUT! NOBODY deserves what you have been called and YOU need to understand that AND NOT TOLERATE IT! People will DO whatever YOU ALLOW THEM TO GET AWAY WITH. Break THAT pattern and you'll be surprised at what you find! Good luck to you, Sweetie, and GET RID OF THAT LOWLIFE.

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    • Thank you :)

    • You're quite welcome. Did you see the overwhelming theme here? GET RID OF HIM. So you're alone for a short time. I'll bet a dime to a dollar that it won't be more than a few days to a couple weeks before somebody else asks you out. Being alone is not a bad thing! Especially when the alternative is having a "boyfriend" who calls you UGLY. WTF?! Number one is to get rid of him. Number two is to not allow it to happen again! Take care of yourself!

What Guys Said 9

  • You need to stop being with guys who do this, no matter how long it takes to get a boyfriend, don't go for ones who slate you and call you ugly, because other guys will notice you losing control of a situation you should be totaly in control of, so if you want what you desire, leave the losers alone, and wait for the worthy one to notice you,x

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  • There are a couple things going on here. The boyfriends are either:

    1) Trying to make you think you are ugly so you don't try to leave them and so they think they are in power.

    or

    2) They are just d***s and you need to find another boyfriend. Dump that bitch if he's calling you ugly he doesn't deserve to be with you.

    Different eyes think different people are beautiful. Trust me, if you were actually ugly you wouldn't have a boyfriend. And 23-24 is a little early to start getting ready to get married. Well, if you find someone you absolutely love then I guess not but you shouldn't be worried yet. Shit takes time. Would you rather be married to an ass hole at 24 or married to the man of your dreams at 26-28? That also means you can get more partying in before marriage, which is always a bonus (at least in my eyes).

    If you are really worried about being ugly go to 4chan.org and go to the S (sexy) board and post a picture and ask them to rate it for you. IF you are REALLY worried, but judging how you have/had boyfriends I don't think you can be that bad.

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    • Thanks so much you made me feel better!

  • What your boyfriend is trying to do is keep your self-esteem low enough so that you'll feel lucky to have him, and will automatically assume that nobody else could be interested in you.

    Your boyfriend is a class-A douchebag.

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    • I never thought of that thanks!

    • I've seen this happen several times. Beautiful chicks with horrible self-images because their boyfriends treat them like sh*t. When someone's constantly down on you, especially someone that you care about, you start to believe it yourself. It's a control tactic, and a really nasty one at that, because it can mess you up for a long time if you let it.

    • Wow your smart I never looked at it this way. Your right I let them use and control me. Its funny cause this is how my friends are with me too. They only call me when they need something and everything is one sided.

  • The guys you date are jerks. You will find a guy who will think you're the most beautiful girl in the world and won't have eyes to look at other girls because he's so drawn to you.

    Take a step back and just let things happen.

    But my opeinion is to drop the jerk you're dating.

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  • What do you look like, and what's your body like?

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    • Im overweight, white, blond, blue eyes, I dress well try to hide my fat.

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    • Ya I've been trying to loose weight but I have health problems that are getting the way of it.

    • What kind of health problems?

      How much control do you have over your food? I.e. do you choose most or only some of it?

  • Then be that bitch & wait for someone who appreciates you for you, there is on point in settling if your not satisfied with your relationship.

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  • wholy crap find a guy who treats you right, what is the matter with you?

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    • Well truth is I love having a boyfriend and I hate being alone I mean I think I might love him and he could be really nice but he could also be very mean.

  • The key fact if the matter is "boyfriend". If these guys thought you were ugly, why the hell would they be going out with you? The fact that they have been dating you means you are beautiful to them. They are saying this to you because they are a**holes! Again look at the clear facts, why would you have boyfriends if a guy thinks you are ugly? You clearly are not ugly, you are just dating guys with ugly personalities. And I am pretty sure they look ugly themselves, am I right?

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  • "sigh"

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What Girls Said 2

  • Nice and naive. You're 23 so it's about time you kicked that habit of letting people walk all over you because you want to be nice to them. My advice is to stick to yourself for awhile and build up your morals/personality/character (spend time with God) - an environment that doesn't let others influence you directly.

    You are nice to others but you are not nice to yourself. Result? You destory yourself and let others get away with it. You're encouraging bad behavior .

    If you encourage bad behavior in the crowd you're in, you're most likely going to be taken in by other bad crowds, thus how will you ever find someone man enough to call you beautiful?

    Beautifully wholesome? Proverbs 31:10-31 (NKJV):

    10 Who can find a virtuous wife?

    For her worth is far above rubies.

    11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;

    So he will have no lack of gain.

    12 She does him good and not evil

    All the days of her life.

    13 She seeks wool and flax,

    And willingly works with her hands.

    14 She is like the merchant ships,

    She brings her food from afar.

    15 She also rises while it is yet night,

    And provides food for her household,

    And a portion for her maidservants.

    16 She considers a field and buys it;

    From her profits she plants a vineyard.

    17 She girds herself with strength,

    And strengthens her arms.

    18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,

    And her lamp does not go out by night.

    19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,

    And her hand holds the spindle.

    20 She extends her hand to the poor,

    Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

    21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,

    For all her household is clothed with scarlet.

    22 She makes tapestry for herself;

    Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

    23 Her husband is known in the gates,

    When he sits among the elders of the land.

    24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

    And supplies sashes for the merchants.

    25 Strength and honor are her clothing;

    She shall rejoice in time to come.

    26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,

    And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

    27 She watches over the ways of her household,

    And does not eat the bread of idleness.

    28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

    Her husband also, and he praises her:

    29 “Many daughters have done well,

    But you excel them all.”

    30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,

    But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

    31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,

    And let her own works praise her in the gates.

    Sorry, it looks a little messy.

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    • This is great thanks!

  • This my favorite poem by William Shakespheare link

    It always told me I may not be the prettiest person in the room to everyone, but one guy can still think I am the most beautiful girl. The guy you are with now, you need to dump him. He is in fact an ass; which you probably already know, but to disrespect you like he has been doing is bs.

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    • YOU GOT IT! Amen to that. No matter what there is SOMEBODY out there who will see you and fall in love with you and you will be the single most beautiful thing he's ever laid eyes upon!

    • Awesome example!

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