I used to be OK with my body before I gave child birth. Although I am back to original size, I am left with a stomach that is saggy, has a lot of stretch marks, and is very loose. This has left with self conscious or wanting to cover up, every time I have intercourse with my boyfriend. (Please, don't try to make me feel better. A while back I did a post on gag. I asked what if a woman was very attractive, but the only flaw she had was a loose stomach) I posted a photo. A lot of you men said it was a deal breaker, those that didn't said they would at least need a warning before proceeding. Don't tell me to give my body time, I had my child at 23. I am now 26. I want to get tummy tuck surgery after I reach 30 (I choose that age specifically because before then, I plan on having another child). My boyfriend is okay with that. I also want to get breast augmentation because my breasts are a bit more saggy (even though they still look good). My boyfriend of 7 years told me he will leave me if I do so. I don't understand this, because he isn't even a boob guy. He doesn't even caress my chest while having intercourse so I don't understand why he would leave me. Can someone shed some light on my situation?
He has his opinions, and he's being perfectly honest with them.
I can't explain them. I don't think anyone could.
But it's far better for him to be honest about these things, than to wait for you to get the surgery and them dump you with no warning.
Maybe he's just really really not attracted to large breasts. And despite him not playing with them much right now, he feels like he'd be utterly unable to be sexually attracted to a large chested version of you.
To answer the main question though, yes, a guy can love you and still leave you.
Girls are the same - they can love a guy, and if he puts on 100lbs, they can leave him, but still love him. They just aren't attracted to him anymore. And they are smart enough to know that attraction is vital in a relationship.
The threat is that he loves you the way you are, so change is threatening the way he looks at you, and regardless of it being better or not, his mind will be telling him that other men will find this attractive also, so he is dead against it, he does not want you making a change to make yourself better, because he is happy with you the way you are and feels threatened by change,xx
He's being an ass but, I doubt it's intentional. Not understanding that this is an issue of self esteem for you. My best guess is that he's fearful that once you've had these treatments your 'attraction factor' will improve dramatically in other guys eyes (and in your own, bolstering your self esteem) and he will be less secure in his own manhood.
Although you want to do this for YOU and of course for him, he seems to be comfortable with the current "you" and is supportive of your desire to have the first procedure because he knows it will make you feel better about yourself.
Happy with your slightly saggy but still good looking breasts, he doesn't think you need to add any points to the attraction factor for other guys.
just my opinion, I'm sure there will be others.:-)
He wants you to be natural, he loves you for who you are.
I wish us girls could accept us for who we are, I wish we could all see that we are beautiful with what we have. I see no problem with you fixing your tummy, your not really changing much.. but your breasts don't need changing and he loves you for that, he wants you to see that.
"You have to accept who you are in all aspects before you can love someone else. If you don't accept who you are then you'll always be fighting with yourself, and that's going to put stress on everyone around you."