Does he really love me, if he is willing to leave?

I used to be OK with my body before I gave child birth. Although I am back to original size, I am left with a stomach that is saggy, has a lot of stretch marks, and is very loose. This has left with self conscious or wanting to cover up, every time I have intercourse with my boyfriend. (Please, don't try to make me feel better. A while back I did a post on gag. I asked what if a woman was very attractive, but the only flaw she had was a loose stomach) I posted a photo. A lot of you men said it was a deal breaker, those that didn't said they would at least need a warning before proceeding. Don't tell me to give my body time, I had my child at 23. I am now 26. I want to get tummy tuck surgery after I reach 30 (I choose that age specifically because before then, I plan on having another child). My boyfriend is okay with that. I also want to get breast augmentation because my breasts are a bit more saggy (even though they still look good). My boyfriend of 7 years told me he will leave me if I do so. I don't understand this, because he isn't even a boob guy. He doesn't even caress my chest while having intercourse so I don't understand why he would leave me. Can someone shed some light on my situation?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He has his opinions, and he's being perfectly honest with them.

    I can't explain them. I don't think anyone could.

    But it's far better for him to be honest about these things, than to wait for you to get the surgery and them dump you with no warning.

    Maybe he's just really really not attracted to large breasts. And despite him not playing with them much right now, he feels like he'd be utterly unable to be sexually attracted to a large chested version of you.

    To answer the main question though, yes, a guy can love you and still leave you.

    Girls are the same - they can love a guy, and if he puts on 100lbs, they can leave him, but still love him. They just aren't attracted to him anymore. And they are smart enough to know that attraction is vital in a relationship.

    • I had large breasts during pregnancy which he loved, and said he wouldn't mind if they were that size (although he still likes them now).

What Guys Said 3

  • The threat is that he loves you the way you are, so change is threatening the way he looks at you, and regardless of it being better or not, his mind will be telling him that other men will find this attractive also, so he is dead against it, he does not want you making a change to make yourself better, because he is happy with you the way you are and feels threatened by change,xx

  • He's being an ass but, I doubt it's intentional. Not understanding that this is an issue of self esteem for you. My best guess is that he's fearful that once you've had these treatments your 'attraction factor' will improve dramatically in other guys eyes (and in your own, bolstering your self esteem) and he will be less secure in his own manhood.

    Although you want to do this for YOU and of course for him, he seems to be comfortable with the current "you" and is supportive of your desire to have the first procedure because he knows it will make you feel better about yourself.

    Happy with your slightly saggy but still good looking breasts, he doesn't think you need to add any points to the attraction factor for other guys.

    just my opinion, I'm sure there will be others.:-)

    • Possibly. I already get hit on by most guys. He even hears comments like how did he get such a hot girl? My stomach is not noticable in the clothes that I wear, so no one really knows but him. Those comments will sky rocket if I get surgery. I think you are right. thanks for your advice.

    • NP..hope it all works out for you..if you WANT him to's going to take some open honest conversation. best to ya!

    • It is. But he is so set in his ways, I doubt hetwill be open-minded. He did say he had a girl with breast implants (that he briefly dated) and he hated the way they felt. Ty for the advice.

  • He loves you just the way you are. Isn't that enough?

    • No, because I am unhappy. Try going 23 years with a hot bod, only to have a stomach that alters everything.

What Girls Said 1

  • He wants you to be natural, he loves you for who you are.

    I wish us girls could accept us for who we are, I wish we could all see that we are beautiful with what we have. I see no problem with you fixing your tummy, your not really changing much.. but your breasts don't need changing and he loves you for that, he wants you to see that.

    "You have to accept who you are in all aspects before you can love someone else. If you don't accept who you are then you'll always be fighting with yourself, and that's going to put stress on everyone around you."

    • I agree with everything with you said

    • But I did accept myself before I gave birth. I used to flash and get naked all of the time. Its just that when you give birth to a child it sometimes alters your body in a bad way. I cannot accept those changes, because they aren't me. My breasts are fine now. But after the second child how can I guarantee that they won't sag a whole lot or be sucked dry? If I'm unhappy he should want to help me. Afterall I'm paying for all my surgeries!

    • Yeah I know what you mean.