How important is appearance when it comes to your partner or someone you date?

Okay...let's be honest. How important is appearance when it comes to someone you are dating or your boy/girl friend? On a scale of one to 10 how important is it to you and explain why or why not. Again, this question is about appearance...not personality so do not make comment of the importance of one's personality. I want answers on your view on appearance when it comes to someone for which you have an attraction.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I find most girls attractive.

    It doesn't take long for me to be attracted to someone but if I'm not initially attracted to someone it ain't gonna happen.

    When you start to really know someone, all his physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in his energy, recognize the scent of his skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.

    - Lisa Unger

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    • I used to say I had to find the guy attractive in my eyes. But your Lisa Unger quote explains what happened to me last year. Met a guy in school who had zero appeal to me. But he would talk with me throughout year occasionally, then when I needed an itch scratched he was there. As I spent more time with him I got to know the inner person & fell for him. Physical stuff started to look attractive where it didn't before.

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    • Thanks for best answer!

What Guys Said 9

  • People enter into a relationship because they want someone around them that they like. That means you have to be attracted to them to want to see them all the time otherwise you'd just talk to or text them if all you liked was their personality. Sexual attraction demands that you're into your mate so it's obviously important. The thing is attraction means different things to different people. So someone I might love to date might be someone another guy thinks is too plane or is just not attracted to at all.

    It's very important, which might sound shallow, but it's the reasoning behind it that determines if you come across as shallow or thoughtful.

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  • 8/10

    The importance of physical attraction can't be denied. The distinction I like to make is that I am not talking about how close a girl is to approximating some ideal of femininity. There are lots of different things about a girl that could be attractive, no two are alike. I say 8 and not 10 because appearance alone cannot trump all other aspects of a person and make them irrelevant (well, maybe for a one night stand it can but that's it).

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  • I'd say about an 8/10. If you aren't attractive to me, I get no buzz being around you. At that point, we could strictly be friends, but if the buzz is absent, there's just no chance for anything more. Keep in mind that I'm only going to hit on girls I find attractive in the first place, so it is up to them to hopefully have a good personality, otherwise I'm gone.

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  • What's up G! It's pretty important for me, I'd say 7-9 on a scale. Now I don't ask for the girl to be a supermodel, I just need to find her physically attractive. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder, some of the girls I find really pretty, others may not. I also take into consideration who she is as well.

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  • Very. Many people are superficial by nature. Would you date a person who was the victim of a severe burning? Probably not, a lot of people wouldn't, he would be repulsive by many people's standards.

    Heck, people kill spiders and insects simply because they are grotesque looking to them. It's human nature.

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  • To me if I care about someone, their appearance is not important to me. In fact sometimes I find girls much more beautiful in casual clothes and no make-up than when they wear expensive outfits and a ton of make-up. However I like to look nice and smell good whenever I am out with people, just as a self respect thing, I like looking my best where ever I go. But in terms of others I find appearance unimportant. A 3-4 out of 10. I hope this answer helps

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  • Very important. I'm unable to develop any kind of attachments if I'm not attracted to the girl first.

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  • It's important. There has to be physical attraction. . If she's a great person but I'm not attracted to her, we can be good friends. But I probably won't be intimate with her.

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  • gonna go with 8/10~ as well. she MUST be attractive in my eyes because without that, I don't even have the initial draw to her in the first place. I'm not looking for what people would call a "supermodel", just a regular girl.

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What Girls Said 11

  • I recently read that aside from just seeing a person's looks and finding them attractive, our subconscious also picks up on the smallest of nuances in a person's behavior & mannerisms. And we are instinctively drawn to those who exhibit similar characteristics that our primary childhood caretakers had. It's actually something so small that we are not even aware that's what draws to a person. Kinda freaky how the mind works if you ask me.

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  • I need to have some amount of physical attraction in order to be into someone romantically, whether I see them before I get to know them, or talk to them online for a while before knowing what they look like. If I'm going to be brutally honest, there are definitely certain lines I will not cross when it comes to how a guy looks.

    If you mean appearance as far as clothing style, accessories, etc... I have a rocker/goth kind of style/attitude, but a guy doesn't have to be the same to get my attention, although it's a bonus. As long as he's clean and looks good with whatever he wears, I'm fine with almost anything.

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  • To be honest, I thought it was a bigger deal than it actually is rather recently. But when I started dating my current boyfriend, I realized that I'm very attracted to him appearance-wise because of his personality. Basically, I didn't think I would be very sexually attracted to him but once we started dating and I found out how great of a guy he is, that changed so much.

    So, all in all, appearance to me used to mean quite a bit more (though not a huge amount since I don't find myself very attractive) but now I know to give it a chance because those feelings could grow.

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  • i think looks are very important because that's how notice guys. if I think you're good looking, obviously I will try to talk to you and get to know you. so id say its 9/10 haha

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  • 8

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  • Honestly? 10 out of 10.

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  • your looks can control men & they drop $$$ quick on you

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  • Cats. They're mean, moody, and nasty.

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  • We do have to at least be physically attracted to each other. He doesn't have to be the hottest guy I've ever seen, but if I can't imagine kissing you, it's a problem. Of course personality matters more, and personality can make someone attractive. It's happened before, and it's happened in the reverse as well. I'll give a guy a chance initially no matter what he looks like, so I guess it's a one (I can't be utterly repulsed), and then grows in importance as the dates progress. If by date three or four I am still completely 100% unattracted, then it's over.

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  • They've got to be hot , in my eyes.

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  • A big fat 0 looks don't matter as long as he has a nice catering personality and has good hygien

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    • Lol. Right.

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    • Why would anyone down vote this. Not everyone falls in the 'they have to be really attractive to me box' I'll take personality over looks any day, I have before and I would again.

    • I'm with you sammi but if they get a good looking girl/guy and they treat them

      Like total crap then maybe they will learn that personality is the key to a good health and strong relationship personality stays where looks go away with age so pfft on all these haters we are right and they are wrong

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