I've been called a douche solely for that reason. And I actually worked out for a few years for sports and not just the looks. I don't think some people realize (especially women) how challenging it is to put on a good amount of noticeable muscle. You have to partially surround your life around the gym (changing all your eating habits, cutting out bad food, making sure you have energy to lift heavy), busting your ass, doing all kinds of work, and constantly being sore.
It's unfortunate for you but often times guys that fit that description are douchy. It's not fair that you are judged on their behavior but if more guys who looked like that were nicer guys then less people would be judgemental.
I would give a guy a chance before I judge. I know the dedication it takes and I admire it.
I think the people who do that are retarded (the people that call people a douche soley for that reason). :)) Even if someone did it for looks I'd admire that about them. There's no way that I would think gaining muscle is an easy thing or something that only takes a little amount of time. So yeah, knowing what I know, I can definitely appreciate muscles on a guy. ;)
I can't come up with a decent reason as to why someone would say that about someone, nothing makes sense. Yup.
Honestly, if for any reason I would judge a guy to be that way because of his muscles, maybe it would be because I was intimidated. I mean any guy with a fair amount of muscle probably has a lot of girls looking his way - and that could definitely boost his ego. I guess some of us just assume that because a guy is muscular he must be aware that he is a hot ticket, and believe me, some guys sure do. But I never look at a guy and just assume he's a certain way.
I totally understand your point. Its ridiculous. Its like when a perfect 10/10 girl walks into the room and not as attractive people automatically asume she's a stuck up bitch without even speaking to her. It is rude and inacceptable. Its not our fafult weere hot!
Because most of the guys like that are do into themselves that they don't give a crap bout the people around them unfortunate I know but I know what it takes because I married someone that was the same a you are. Girls are extremely judgmental but don't change you will come across some girls that appreciate you, your sweet aside and your rocking body.
By your own admission, the costs are actually quite high; you need to up your calorie intake significantly, your life revolves around it, you ache and strain, and it's not good for your medium to long term health (you're burning your body out, eventually Western science will catch up with this fact). What is the opportunity cost of all this time and effort you put into it, what could you be doing in the mean time? What other interests and hobbies could you be cultivating? Could you be doing worthwhile deeds elsewhere? In my experience, people who work out tend to be quite vain and self absorbed, this however is probably an unfair stereotype, but should go some way to answering your question.
I flirt with the idea of working out some times. For example, I've been ill recently, and have lost a lot of muscle mass, so it's seemingly a good way to build muscle evenly. Started again these past few days, and it's left me feeling depleted. Working out depletes energy. Chi gung builds it, and leaves you feeling energised after.
Being in the top 1-3% of the male population fitness wise (and if you're not, you do not have the stated problem), statistically speaking it is a very reliable guess that if you do not need it for work (being a fitness instructor or an actor or model) is that you are a douche. Because the motivation to make the necessary dietary and exercise life choices tends to be inherently shallow in better than maybe 90% of the cases, given it's not for work.
Now if you are just merely healthy and fit and not fat (as opposed to Mens-Health-Cover-ripped), then it is just a sad sign of the times where borderline-obese is the new "normal".