I wonder if anyone else feels insecure about how they look and look for clues from others as to their "acceptability?" How do others cope with these feelings of being unattractive or unacceptable? Would it be easier for me to just accept that I'm ugly; I try but it hurts too much so that when some people give me a compliment and say I look pretty or have pretty eyes, I'm confused. Are they just being nice out of pity for me. I welcome any honest but constructive feedback as difficult and painful as it may be to hear about my appearance.
Most Helpful Guy
If people react indifferent to you, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're ugly. I act indifferent to tons of physically attractive girls on a daily basis. Women act indifferent to tons of attractive guys on a daily basis. If you wish to flirt, sometimes that door has to be opened first until its "game on". For the record, based on the two pictures you have, I think you're pretty cute. ...But looks aren't everything, so here's some brief advice.
The kinds of guys who are attracted to girls solely based on looks normally don't have a lot of experience in the dating game. Now, I'll be honest, looks matter, but if you're "okay" (and EVERYONE can makes themselves at least to the point of "okay") and have a good vibe going, you will still get plenty of guys. I've known girls who have had tons of guys interested in them (myself included) and when I really stopped to notice their bare looks, I realized that they weren't that genetically attractive. Think about it sort of as the female equivalent of a man who holds himself confidently, talks slowly and deliberately, is composed and has an aire of class about him.
A general rule of thumb on clothes: if you wish to attract a "bad boy" the look is more sexy and tighter clothes. If you wish to attract a "good guy" -- not a "nice guy", a "good guy" (you know what I'm talking about) -- then the look might be a bit more classy and what I'd term "flowy". If you wish to attract romance novel guys, act like the romance novel girls (I'm serious).
As far as demeanor, guys are statistically more likely to flirt with a flirty girl than with an attractive non-fllirty one. Don't act desperate, but also, don't over-game. If it helps, you can think of it as acting the way you might with a close friend who is attractive and playful, but who you wouldn't want to get into a relationship with. Laughing at their jokes is pretty big. Laugh at a guys jokes (or, anyone's at that) and they instantly like you more. If you slouch, stop it. It might feel awkward to stand up straight at first, but most likely you look fine. Be a little bit cheeky -- test them a bit, just a little, though. For example, if they jokingly talk themselves up, you can slightly bring them down -- SLIGHTLY! Too much and you'll come off as a b****. Also, give them that sly smile as you do it and its game on. When he makes a cheeky remark, playfully hit him.
Smile excitedly a lot for the "good guy", smile sexy and slyly a lot for the "bad boy". Both for the good guy with bad boy tendencies. Make sure the smile is genuine (e.g. wrinkles in the eyes); instinctively we can feel this.
If you haven't already tried this, try this out.
If you find this helpful at all, I have more advice, but I'll stop there for now.3
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