Immature, nothing I want in a guy, but feel bad breaking up. help?

so I'm dating this guy. who (I think) is immature, tries too hard, can't carry a conversation, and is slightly awkward and clingy. OH, and touchy feely. I've been in love before, and have my expectations, because they tend to follow those of my ex-loves. and this new boyfriend, doesn't exactly have any of those traits. I want a guy who can make me laugh, can carry a conversation, can be my friend, as well as my boyfriend, who I can just have an overall good time with him and create some good memories. But with this guy, it just doesn't seem to be like that.

So, I'm wondering, should I break up with him? I mean, I expect more out of a guy, and he doesn't really fulfill that need. But, I feel bad breaking up with him because we've only been dating less than a month, and we've had sex, and I took his virginity. but I mean, I feel as though if this relationship continues, I'm only going to be dating him out of pity.

and we were talking earlier tonight about this, and I didn't get any constructive responses. I got things like "ok" and "yeah..." but nothing really "real". I can't get any sympathy from him, whatsoever, and I really need an understanding guy. I feel like sympathy for him is a chore, and that whenever I come to him with an issue, he gets annoyed. so we're having this convo, when he's like "i have to go in 10 minutes" and I asked why, and he replied "oh. my tv show is on." and I felt offended because I'm pouring my heart and soul about what I feel about him and this relationship, but he has to end the phone call to watch his show.

so. do I break up with him? Or do I stick it out and hope he changes.

*sigh* I know I took his virginity, and yes, I do know that I'm young, and YES, I do know that we were dating for less than a month.

but hey. it's a lesson to be learned. so let it just be that way. no, I'm not a skank. trust me on that one.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You took his virginity? You shameless hussy! Ok, you did the little scamp a favor. Very few men proudly admit to their own virginity. Yes, yes, of course you'll crush his soul when you let him go, but think of the endless months you'd have to endure trying to make this puppy act more like a grown up man. You can still be a sweetheart about this inevitable end. Write him a long letter detailing all the things that didn't work for you so he'll have something to obsess over during his period of sleepless nights. The wisdom he'll gain from the break up will teach him to correct problem behaviors far sooner than you ever could through months of meticulous training. Granted, every man is a project but they all learn faster and become more manageable after they get that first lost-love tragedy under their belts. Even Christ could not have fulfilled his biblical destiny without the help of Judas. Think of yourself a teacher with some hard lessons for a big boy striving to become more of a man. Ya, I know that's a bit thick but you get the gist. Now go find a pen and some paper.


What Guys Said 1

  • Understand that he may like you more than you like him and that's why he's unresponsive/dry about your feelings regarding the relationship. If the boat doesn't float, get out. He's not immature, he's inexperienced like 80 per-cent of people. There are inexperienced people in college too, and I keep running into them. In fact, a personal view of "relationship maturity" only reflects the biases that the claimer has. You only grew to define love and interaction out of your sole encounters, so what gives you the right to claim someone else is immature? Immature is someone who makes fart jokes, laughs at other's expense, kicks them when their down, judges them without knowing, etc. Maturity is the art of open-mindedness and tact.

    I have personally seen people change. Yet this is not to say they all change at the same rate. You know him better than you described here. If he's too hardheaded, you should do what makes you comfortable (leaving him). If he's open minded and loves you, he'll change, even if he needs a little push. He's a different kind of lover than you are, he' not clingy or desperate, he's just far deeper and more romantic. Some people have superficial love, and to some people their partner can mean the world to them. There should be no stigma attached to either side of the coin.


What Girls Said 1

  • You need to sit down and talk to him. Let him know how you feel and end the relationship as nicely as you can. Just be honest and say that things are not working out and that you feel that you will both be happier and better off if you end the relationship. Just be as nice as you can and be mature by doing it some where private and face to face.

    Yes he will be hurt but that is a part of life and a lesson that he needs to learn. He will soon be ok tho and also you will hurt him less by ending it sooner rather than later.

    You are still extremly young and should not be worrying about things like this and I also think that you also need to think about your behaviour and the consequences of what you are doing by having sex and boyfriends at such a young age, also having sex in less than a month of being together is not sensible behaviour and it is girls like you that get the rest of us a reputation.