Are looks the deciding factor?

Many people like to down play the importance of looks in starting a potential relationship.

What is the difference between a friend and a gf/bf?

What does physically attractive mean to you specifically?

  • Yes
    25% (2)83% (10)60% (12)Vote
  • No
    75% (6)17% (2)40% (8)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I used to think that looks would be the deciding factor for me until I met my current boyfriend. They certainly play an important role, don't gets me wrong, but they don't ultimately decide whether or not I'll be with someone. I always had a "type" of dark-haired, dark-eyed, tanned, and muscular...but even though my blonde-haired, blue-eyed boyfriend is a little bigger, I've never felt for guys that were my "type" the way I feel about him.

    I brushed him off for awhile while we stayed friends and I went for guys that were my "type" until I decided to give him a shot. Best decision of my life.

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What Girls Said 8

  • I don't know. With my ex, I just started talking to him cause I thought he was hot and then we hit it off. But the guy I'm seeing now, I never really was attracted to. I don't think it's a deciding factor, but personality and looks need to balance out. Downvote me all you want, but if you look like a 5, I'm sure your personality needs to be higher than a 5.

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    • I like that.

      Your inside should be more attractive than your outside.

      Good insight Alanaaa

  • Some people (and this is mostly girls I think) don't care about how the guy looks, because they know it's not important. What does that mean? It's not that they want someone who is ugly and unattractive to them. It means their priority is someone who takes care of them and makes them feel secure. That is not something that having good looks can give to another person.

    Guys, on the other hand, base their self worth sometimes on how hot their girlfriend is. Which means that guys also need to understand that just because someone is hot does not mean she will stick by you when you need them to. A good looking person can be a good person or a bad person - Girls understand this more I think and tend to say looks don't matter because they know it's only on the outside and not what's on the inside. It makes for a longer relationship when the person you are with cares about who you are rather than what you look like.

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    • You're kind of projecting. You are assuming that if men behaved more like women, they'd be happier, or that men only want hot women to show off to their friends.

      I'm not sure I agree with that given:

      - I recently read a study showing men pursued a woman more if they found her attractive but thought other men didn't.

      - men indicate they care more about looks in a long term relationship then a short term one.

      The reality is, men and women choose partners based on different instincts.

  • Looks don't decide the relationship, personality does. I'm not attracted to attractive guys. To me, physically attractive is brown hair, some muscle on the arms, and any guy that doesn't wear skinny jeans. ;)

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    • Ok I understand that personality plays the largest part, but I aslo want to know what separates a friend from a bf/gf?

    • Show All
    • Ok. Thanks for answering by the way. In a situation where a guy did the things you mentioned, but got friend zoned, What would have been the diff between him becoming a boyfriend vs a staying a friend?

    • Probably she just doesn't like him. He can do all that, and be willing to commit, but some things about him negatively override all his positive features. I'm not familliar with the situation so I can't really say.

  • It's not a deciding factor but it does play a role in my decision

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    • If it is not the deciding factor may I ask what usually is the deciding factor?

    • There is no big one for me but a few of the important ones are how he treats me, and how close we are relationship wise, I want to be close friends with a guy before I get into a relationship with him

  • I really was not attracted to my ex physically, but he was the first boy that I've "loved".

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  • UNATTRACTION is a deciding factor, but attraction isn't...especially for women.

    What I mean is, a guy you aren't attracted to won't be "Mr. Right," but neither will a guy you're really attracted to but don't really like talking to or get along with.

    Friend vs. BF/GF: Sexual attraction, the amount of time you have to spend with that person, and in serious relationships, the level of intimacy you allow (not just sexual, but how much you tell them about your inner life).

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  • a little bit, yes

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    • "a little bit" what about the rest. What is the factor that separates a friend from a partner?

    • if he or she is sexually attracted to him or her.

    • and my I ask what constitutes this sexual attraction?

  • Mostly yes, however, there has been one occasion where I didn't fall for looks but his personality and I could have easily have loved him if he didn't have a girlfriend.

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    • I wish most girls were like you... maybe I'm just plain ugly but I think most girls want more than just looks. It's like getting your job. Yes you need a good CV to begin with, but the real deciding factor is how you do on your interview.

    • What part are you agreeing with? Of course most people what more than looks. Looks hold you for a while but personality keeps you forever.

      I was friends with a gorgeous guy but he treated others awfully, and I just stopped being his friend regardless of his looks.

    • *want not what

What Guys Said 4

  • people don't want to admit looks are the deciding factor but a lot of the time they are very important and often what gets us to notice the person to begin with . I mean I'm not even going to notice her at a busy nightclub if she's not attractive to me on some level , there is just too many good looking girls there . so often good looks are needed to get the other persons attention in many situations . like at parties , work or busy places where a lot of people come and go .

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  • I know a lot of people say this but quite frankly don't mean it but I do -- personality over appearance any day.

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  • No I don't think so for guys. I think looks is a filtering factor. Definitely does not mean if you had the looks you've hit a home run.

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  • something tells me it is more the deciding factor for guys than for girls, but it's debatable

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