So I recently saw what some of my boyfriends exes look like and they're all very attractive, especially this one who is a solid 10. I am about a 6 or 7 on my good days and I feel extremely self conscious now knowing the caliber of girls he's used to. Why would he downgrade so much to date me? Is it a safety issue? And as a guy wouldn't he be constantly thinking about this hot girl he had? And please don't say maybe I have a great personality because that's the worst compliment a girl can get, that's what guys says when there's nothing good to say about how a girl looks. Please help me understand his thinking, thanks
Solid 10 girls are hard work, nigh on impossible most of the time. They're used to everyone telling them that they're funny and interesting and agreeing with everything they say all the time, so not only do they believe it themself but they come to expect it all the time, too. In fact, they expect pretty much everything to be done for them by guys who can't see past the halo effect, and every single man I know finds a stuck-up diva a definite turn-off. Give it 20 years and she'll be an insecure wreck, still thinking she ought to be treated like royalty and beyond pissed off when she isn't.
Don't think of it as a downgrade, just a shift in his perceptions and a change in his values. You're still a 10 in his eyes, only there's more to you than just how you look.
Guys don't *only* say that a girl has a great personality when she's ugly, by the way, we don't all think the most important factor in choosing a long-term partner is how photogenic she is. If I compliment a girl's personality it's because that's what I like best about her, and it's not like she isn't going to be already aware that she's pretty so there's no point in me only focusing on her looks.
I suspect like a lot of girls you overrate the looks of others and underrate yourself. I very much doubt your boyfriend see's it as that drastic of a drop. The key phrase that you used is "I feel extremely self conscious". It is mostly in your head. All that matters is that right now this guy wants to be with you.
lmao, jks. But seriously, personality affects my dating choices pretty drastically. I mean a girl who I really care for might be bumped up 2 points on the scale in my eyes. Like I'll literally think she's a 9 when I'm into her. And when I'm not anymore, or before I was into her, I saw her as a 7 physically.
So yeah it does play a role. So probably to him, you're a 9 or a 10 :).
Lol nooone of that is true. When that is said in a sincere way it is the best comp.uliment. Sounds like you just have confident issues tbh. He likes you and doesn't care if your not a ten or hell he might think your a ten. I doubt he thinks it is a downgrade. Ur being silly
Not always looks. If I had a choice between a 10 with a bitchy or negative attitude and a 6-7 that I really get along with and enjoy being around, I would take the 6-7 which is definitely an upgrade in my opinion.
Why would he downgrade?
The answer is, he probably doesn't think he did downgrade.
What is far more likely, is that this is yet another example of how girls do not know the first thing about what men actually find attractive.
Whether it's girls with a bit of meaty curves, or smaller boobs, or whatever, men like what they like. And girls don't seem to have the faintest idea what that is. And even less inclined to ask and find out.