Intimidating to guys or just ugly?

Hi, everyone. So, I've been flirted with before and have had guys on th street say hi to me or smile and that stuff, but I rarely get approached by guys for dates. I've only ever been on a few. I'm probably not super pretty but I've never thought myself to be some kind of hideous moster (hopefully I'm not ;D ).

But it's occurred to me recently that perhaps I might be intimidating for some guys, since I've heard that fancy dressers can scare off boys. I'm 20 and around 5'7 and very thin and I try to dress very well (heels and blouses and well fitting clothes), and since I'm so quiet, I'm often alone and it might make me seem aloof. Perhaps I look over-dressed and unapproachable to most guys? Or I could just be plain ugly lol! Has anyone else ever had this issue as well, I'd love to hear your stories too?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Do you go places where you're likely to get asked on dates? Social events and the like... Do you ever take initiative and start talking to guys in social situations?

    For most average people, you won't get approached unless you make it clear that you want to be approached. Lots of eye contact, flirting, smiling, conversation. In order to do all of this effectively, it helps to go places where there are likely to be single males, as well.

    If you walk around with your head down, or arms crossed or are looking at your phone, or otherwise look distracted and aloof ... guys won't ask you out.

    I always had the opposite situation -- I'm average looking, but guys would ask me out even more than some of my prettier friends. Some girls don't even have their good looks noticed if they are trying to make themselves invisible all the time. I had a friend who looked like a pretty china doll, with beautiful skin and delicate featuers, but guys never saw her as attractive because she was always frowning or avoiding eye contact. They thought she was stuck up or didn't notice her at all. Then, she started to come out of her shell and met her fiancee.

    Because I had a job in service, I make eye contact, smile, say hello and start conversations. Not just guys approach me, but men, women, children ... animals? :D


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Based on your pics - I wouldn't sat you were ugly. I do think that shorter hair is better on you and I wonder if you are natural blond or is that dyed? Some people aren't as attractive as blondes and are pretty with their natural hair color (see Hope Solo - not hot as blond but crazy hot as a brunnette).

    Some of getting asked out is also due to how you interact with others. If you flirt and let guys know you are interested back - then they are more likely to ask you. If you are quiet, shy and don't smile/show a positive reaction we are going to take this as 'not interested' and not take the chance of asking you out.

    Most of the time when I've asked a girl out - I was pretty sure the answer would be yes by the time I asked her out.

    Don't stop dressing nicely - that is a big turn on and it will impact the quality of a guy you attract.

  • Looking at your pics, you are not ugly. Certainly not hideous. Being thin definitely makes you look more attractive to guys around your age. You do need to be a little outgoing, and show signs of interest to guys you are interested in.

  • I think you should put a little more effort into your appearance if you'd like to attract men that currently aren't attracted by you.

  • Your really cute, so you do not have to worry about that. I love the way you dress, that could be it, but for me personally I have trouble approaching a girl regardless of what she is wearing. If you are alone, I would think it would offset how you dress. I mean your tall, pretty and dress well so most guys would probably assume that you are taken or would not bother with them.


What Girls Said 3

  • You aren't ugly girl! Your gorgeous. I don't really think dressing nice scares guys off. I once asked a question on here, about what guys think when they see a nice dressed girl (with good makeup/hair) and most of them either answerd a) they just think she looks good or b) That they won't really judge her personality or what kind of girl she is until they get to know her. So, maybe just the fact that your quiet makes boys think they can't approach you. Think about it this way: Say you saw two cute boys somewhere. Would you be more interested in the one who was kind of quiet, doing there or own thing, or the one who was laughing, and looking like he was having a good time? Its different for everybody though. Not everybodys gonna say they'd think the boy whos being loud and having fun is the one who's more attractive.

    Maybe if you see a guy you like you could try smiling his way, or waving. That might make you appear a little more approachable. :) better yet, walk right up to him and start a conversation. He'll probably think "This is my lucky day. A pretty gals just walked right over here and is talking to me.!"

    Good Luck!

  • I was talking to a few guy friends yesterday, and they were talking about guys and girls and who is more likely to get attention when out at the bar. They said that girls can easily go up to a guy they have been eyeing and leave with them, where as if a guy is the one that initially goes up to start talking to a girl, then they say that for the most part, they will be shut down... So I thought of that when I saw your question. By your picture, I can tell that ugliness is not the issue, but maybe you need to break outta that shell of shyness and be the one to approach the guys.

  • I would just start putting more effort into your appearance.. not that you're ugly haha

    Cause I know guys before I did anything with myself didn't really pay attention to me, but once I did (just a little foundation and mascara and I do my hair now and have some kind of style.. lol) I got a lot more attention :)

    People actually give me compliments now :D

    So yeah.. just do that and you should be fine :D <3