why am I forever been pushed to the side for the girls with big boobs and skinny mini waists and blond hair like why are people so shallow

and then the guys I like I haven't got a hope with

i give up I'm going to be become a lesbian at this rate


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You asked an age old question that I have also asked myself and was troubled because of the answers I found.

    The answer that makes the most sense comes from an anthropologic/evolutionary perspective. It was simply toward a man's interests to breed with females who were physically attractive. Physical attractiveness indicate fertility, thus higher child bearing capability. It's not a sweet, kind, loving personality that allowed our ancestor to raise strong healthy children. It was the slim hip, large breasted, fertile female. And the men today are of course direct descendants of the ones who chose women based on physical attributes only, the superfical way. You can say that men are programmed to make such a selection; it's hardwired and written through evolution. Same goes for women. You women also look for certain traits in a man, not so much on looks, but also superficial in my opinion. And you have to remember that almost all of this decision and selection happens unconsciously. Most of the time we're not exactly aware of why we're attracted to someone.

    They say that mankind is a realatively new species; we're still young. Even so, I would think by now, with our highly developed neo cortex, we could AT LEAST make more thoughtful choices and selection. But no, not really.. most of us are letting our primative drive take pilot control.

    Anyways irish, for your problem. Try to double check on your thoughts and attitude about relationship. Do you have an assumption that men are superficial and will leave their lover for a better looking one whenever the men get a chance? What we believe in, what we search for in life, is what we'll find.

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    • I am an anthropology student. completely off-topic, but my radar started beeping after I read your comments. are you in anthro too?

What Guys Said 19

  • You know those quiet guys that stare at the ground and dress kind of goofy? They are in the corner saying the same things to themselves. Not that I'm judging the type of guys you go for but you may want to think about your choices in guys because that guy in the corner is saying "gosh, I'm the nice guy and why do girls cry on my shoulder and complain about how much of an a-hole he is but never gives me a chance?"

    The other thing, guys don't develope emotionally as fast as girls do which limits their ability to reconize good emotionally qualities in girls. Beside the fact that guys are more visually stimulated, this lack of developement in the emotional awareness at that age also contributes to your frustration.

    You'll be okay, just keep bobbing and weaving.

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    • I don't go for guyswho are absoloutly gorgeous or pricks I wouldn't have a chance with them anyway. but the guys I do like are nice decent guys who don't like me and then the guys who I do get push me away after a better person comes along

    • Let me guess . . you've heard this phrase numerous times in your life: "I wish my boyfriend was more like you" and it pisses you off because it doesn't help, does it?

    • WeaponZero: back in my high school days yep. My shirts were covered in tears and my balls blue as a smurf.

  • This is good news in disguise. The guys you're losing to Skinny Mini are the guys you WANT to lose.

    A quick fix for the guys you think you don't have a chance with: I've never seen a fun and friendly girl who didn't have her pick of men.

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  • You look like a cute girl, so the guys you're trying to hook up are either ridiculously shallow or they're gay. If I were you, I'd keep my cool and just move on. Someday you'll find a guy who will appreciate you for who you are (in both personality and appearance). Trust me, it'll happen. I would know from personal experience.

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  • Couldn't tell you. Gonna be honest, a lot of guys I know would gladly have a girl who looked like you.

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  • no you look fine and cute...dont owrry bout it too much...guys are just brainwashed from tv...they don't really care about that thing...trust me...just b yourself

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  • I've never understood that myself. I think girls with really mini waists are unhealthy and having big boobs just gives you back ache. Guys do eventually learn it is more than that when you have a girlfriend it is the mind to that counts and what they enjoy together.

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  • wow, you are very attractive I'm sad to hear you aren't having much luck with finding a guy. I think people have a very shallow opinion on what they think is considered sexy. I myself have no luck with women I wouldn't say I'm the greatest looking but I'm not the worst either least I don't think :( . If they can't appreciate you for who you are then you don't need them and there narrow minded thinking. Your very attractive I'm sure you will find someone soon who will truly appreciate you.

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  • Whaaaaaat? By the looks of your picture I would say you're pretty damn attractive, to be honest. All those guys that pushed you aside for those other guys are superficial. They're only going for looks and you've heard it many times before I'm sure, but looks fade and honestly it really is true. Hang in there. If you're still single in 6 months I'll ask ya out. ;)

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  • Because you're going for the wrong guys. You're not being picky and you're not being patient, so you settle for losers who just want a quick score.

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  • You look so pretty that there will be a cut throat competition among boys if you come to our country. Seriously. Not all boys are alike. Some prefer physical features. Others like me prefer a pretty face, decent appearance & decent personality. That's all. You WILL get a good guy some day.

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  • don't give up, trust me you will find a guy who loves you for your personality some day you are still young you have plenty of time.

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  • guys hate how they have to have perfect personalities and be at least fairly attractive also. But that's what you girls want from us. In return, we focus more on the looks, and we want a girl that looks good.

    Guys want hots. Girls want confidence. It's just different and it's the way it is.

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    • Im a girl and I don't ever ven think about guys having to have confidence

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    • Yes, snova and I are right. basically guys like looks and girls like personalities. Irish, you might not consciously think "i want a confident man" but that is what you want. What do you think you want in a man, if not good personality?

    • I want someone cute / good looking funny and just up for a laugh and honest

  • you're cute and id probably go for you, but then at the same time you'd probably blow me off because I wouldn't be good enough (AKA you might be pretty picky) and then id be here asking this same question.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is, make sure you're not falling into your own stereotype like I see a lot of girls do.

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  • because the guys you want are probably idiots, find real men who appreciate youfor who you are, and also, ur are very attractive, and some guy will love you not just for that but for everything else about u.

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  • So many guys here are even condemning those ''skinny sluts'' it's insane.. but I guarantee - as soon as they'll have a chance to bang one they'll forget everything they said here. Amazing double standart.

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  • Because they don`t like real women

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  • Come to the States and well be all over your lucky charms. Your magically delicious :).

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  • First of all lesbianism is a life-choice not a last resort(dunno if you were joking but my friend would be p*ssed if I didn't put that in first.Exasperated sigh.)

    Now as far as too why I haven't the slightest clue besides that our sex drive turns us to scum(both sexes). I agree with what wassaid before, although I would like to modify that answer a little bit. Don't give up 'cause someday some idiot will relize just how beautiful you are inside and out.

    I know, waiting sucks, but its really the only thing.

    aside from getting out farther into the reaches of the world to find someone that loves you because you are you.

    Always keep an open heart and an open mind someone might surprise you with a confession of undyeing love but do not wait for them, if they fail to speek up before you have already found your someone special then too little too late.

    Just know that you are beautiful, everyone has different tastes, and not everyone's a fool.

    Hope that helps, its the best that I can do.

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  • irish girl you are realy cute.come to America and you will meet loads of guys

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What Girls Said 7

  • First of all, you're liking the wrong type of guys if they're all ditching you for Tits Mcgee with bleached hair and an eating disorder.

    Be proud of who you are, confident with the way you look. That is a start. Confidence shows. So does insecurity. Guys are attracted to confident women who are themselves and not pretending to be someone else.

    Smile, be sociable, don't sulk in the corner when the guy you've been eyeing all night goes up to the skinny blond plastique girl across the room.

    Be yourself, that is the most attractive thing you can do. Once you love who you are, others will too. Also, be more open to different kinds of guys. Forget the Matthew McConaughey look alike. Be willing to talk to guys who aren't the most attractive, but have more of a chance of being genuine.

    See if your girlfriends have any single guy friends that are sweethearts and if they can hook you up.

    Get involved in new things where you can meet different sorts of men. A gym, theatre (not all of the guys are gay ;) ), dog park, poetry reading at a local coffee shop, painting/drawing class etc.

    Try new things, or pursue things you enjoy, and you will most likely find someone who also shares your passions and may be interested in getting to know you better to see what else you have in common. :)

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  • lol I know what you mean. I 'm a brunette. I'm so sick of this sh*t lol. kidding.

    just find some guy who's actually mature and not shallow.

    I would dislike to attract guys who are shallow, and it happens.

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  • "i give up I'm going to be become a lesbian at this rate"

    Really?

    well, I'm available ;) jk

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  • guys are a waist of time.

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  • you're pretty, don't worry about it

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  • I feel the same way. I have given up hope of ever having a boyfriend. You look much prettier than me though. People probably like you and you don't even know it.

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  • Don't worry! A lot of guys don't really care about girls having big boobs and tiny little waists. Most guys I know don't even like big boobs, which isn't too good for me. Just wait, eventually, you'll find someone who loves you, for you, not for what you look like, or what your figure is like. I've heard from both of my older sisters, that when you grow up, guys really aren't as judgmentive, because they grow up, later than us, but they do. So just wait, if you get to 30 and still feel like this, then think of becoming a lesbian.

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