No offense but I live in a town full of military guys and MOST of them wouldn't even dare look at a girl above a size 6 and other regular guys in my town too. My city is full of guys who are very shallow and women! Don't get me wrong the women are shallow too. Me I date all kinds (well try too they all end up thinking there hot stuff) chunky, a crooked nose w.e it is I try! But most of the time even the ones that are a bit bigger or not as good looking end up as bad people and get a super hot person afterward. Makes me feel like I'm ugly or something when I know I'm not I think I'm above average but not super sexy but I'm confident not cocky. So why is it so hard for people not to be shallow? Insecurities maybe?
Most Helpful Guy
Well keep in mind that as long as men are unilaterally expected to make an approach, this will be the case. Why? You don't have personality traits floating above your head, but your physical appearance is available right away.
Guys will either approach a girl they're physically attracted to, or they won't approach at all. A guy will date a girl he isn't all that physically attracted to if they were either already friends beforehand, or she did the approaching.
But you can't expect guys to randomly pick out the least attractive girl in the crowd and ask her out on the off chance that she has a good enough personality to make up the difference. Especially in an area of the US with huge obesity problems. (I myself live in the Midwest, so it's about the same here.)
It works a little differently for women, since women are more attracted to larger, more utilitarian men, and a bit of extra fat can actually help out with a big bear hug.
What do these guys look like? Are they thin as well? If so, the mere preference for one's own body type is hardly shallow. And "shallow" itself is usually used by people insecure about their own appearance, so they can cast the blame on someone else.
Men's standards haven't changed all that much, and originally, 80%+ of women met those standards, so the main focus was on personality. Now, thanks to the obesity epidemic, it's becoming the minority, even though men's standards have actually eased up.
(In fact, you'll find a video on this site that states that women's standards for men are more strict and harder to achieve.)
All the while, a lot of men still meet women's physical standards, so physical attraction hasn't really gotten in the way there.
I'm not sure how the NC standards compare to Indiana standards, but what I'm talking about is a general case:
-When the majority of the population is unfit, people will weed through the unfit ones and fight over the few who are fit.
-When the majority of the population is fit, the body standards has already been met by most, which leaves room for more personal judgement.2