I've just read this, girls is this how you think? "Don't buy her a drink. "

I'll make it short: don't buy her a drink. Don't offer to buy her a drink neither agree to her demands ("I'm thirsty..", "Will you buy me a drink?" etc). Here's why - if you do, you supplicate. And women have nothing but scorn and disrespect for supplicating men. Let me give a few examples to illustrate this.

Her (thinking "Let's see if I can hook this sucker:)"): "Will you buy me a drink?"

You (thinking "Oh boy am I in luck, this woman must like me, she's asking me to buy her a drink:)"): "Sure!"

Her (thinking "Ha! Another supplicating male to buy me a drink just because I asked him. What a wimp. Do they really all think I'm gonna go in bed with them for a bottle of beer? Jeez… I'll take my drink and continue searching for a REAL MAN."): "Thanks! You're so sweet! Bye now!:)"

You (confused): "Hey… wait! Um…?"

So even if she stays for say five or ten minutes and has a nice little chit-chat with you - you started with a crash and burn, you've already been crossed out in her book of prospective partners because you SUPPLICATED!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I find your question interesting because it comes off as if you are asking that if a man buys a woman a drink because she asked, does she instantly cross him out of her book of prospective partners because he supplicated? So, essentially by purchasing the drink when asked he is bowing down to her and begging her to be with him, thus she does not respect him and subsequently will never date him? I think it goes further then that actually.

    Most women asking a man to buy her a drink don't even consider that man a prospective partner in the first place. My personal theory is it is the evolution of finding a sex partner. Many men would offer to purchase a drink for a woman in a bar hoping it will lead to other things...possibly sex. This is the "foot in the door" technique, often used by businesses. I give you something first, you feel bad and give me something in return. I bought you a drink, you feel you need to give me something in return, usually a conversation, but if the girl is really easy she will have sex with you. Over the years, realizing this is a technique, many heterosexual women use that to their advantage these days to go out and get loaded for free. It is the mating game that has been played since human beings started having sex.

    So I would say, nowadays, MANY women do not go to bars to get picked up--they go to dance with their girlfriends and get some poor shmuck to pay for it all!

    I wouldn't go as far to say buying a woman a drink is "supplication", but these days it would certainly be rare if it resulted in you getting laid or rarer still a relationship.

    If you want a relationship, supplication is CERTAINLY a bad idea for either of the sexes. One of the partners bowing down and worshiping the other one is completely unhealthy and the other thinking he or she is "above" the other person can lead to abuse.

    Have you seen the movie Superbad? The cops are right! You don't want to be with a woman you meet in a bar. You have to go to a farmer's market or a pumpkin patch, LOL.

    There are women who DO go to bars to pick up and JUST HAVE SEX. If just sex is what you are looking for at the bar you won't get it from those asking for free drinks...look for the ones who are drunk already, NOT in a pack of other women and usually have their underwear on outside their skirts!

    Good luck out there!

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What Girls Said 3

  • HAHAHA Ok, when we go out to bars we play a game called "see how many free drinks we can get, or we're either getting free drinks or not drinking". I agree it is kind of wrong BUT...girls who blatantly ask a guy randomly for a drink has some balls. None of my friends or I really have ever just walked up to a guy and asked for a drink. We scope out the place and move from spot to spot and just act friendly. If a guy strikes up a conversation then yea we'll talk for a second and act as if we're wanting to get a drink...if you offer of course we'll accept! It's not OUR fault a guy wants to spend his money, especially if he's drunk already and has the thought in his head of trying to get a girl drunk and "screw" for the night. So that game works both ways with the girls usually winning. Chances are, we're not gonna stick around if we don't find you attractive or interesting. Especially if you're talking a lot of "sexual trash" to us! Girls have their games just like guys have their games. I don't feel sorry for the guys who offer to buy me drinks, it was his choice not mine...I just gladly accepted (as long as I was there to watch the drink being mad and put straight in my hand). Secondly, hasn't it always been said that guys are supposed to be the providers for girls? lol...not my rule but for the ones who say that then yea what's the problem?! lol Basically, if we accept a drink and ditch you...we don't like you and yes you just blew your money on trying to be either a pervert or nice..but thanks for the drink anyway!

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  • I hate how a guy buys you a drink and expects something out of it. That does not mean that we are married for the night so don't follow the girl around, it does not mean that she wants to sleep with you. It was just a free drink. I mean if its a girl you already know she's feeling you then you can buy her a drink, but don't act like you're automatically in and then get your feelings hurt because you got chopped & screwed at the end of the night lol. some guys need to know that a drink is just a drink! I am known for taking a free drink and leaving lol

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  • Ok this is my opinion.

    If I were to ASK a guy to buy me drink (if somehow I found the guts to), then I'm definitely interested and want to get to know him, otherwise I wouldn't even bother going through the effort!

    On the other hand, if a guy asked if he could buy me a drink, I may or may not be interested. Generally either way I still don't accept the drink because I don't like to accept drinks from strangers, I've heard too many stories of drink spiking around where I live, but that's irrelevant. I wouldn't say scorn and disrespect, but you are right in that I would probably be sizing the guy up and wondering if it would be worth getting to know him. I won't lie, in a bar/pub situation, my decision would be made mostly on looks because I don't know the guy (compared with say someone I met in one of my classes and got to know a bit him a bit more each time).

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What Guys Said 4

  • I tend to agree with you, particularly with drinks. Buying drinks to impress girls is usually a quick way to blow your paycheck.

    But if you want to meet a quality woman, a bar is the last place to look.

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  • This is so true.

    Have them buy drinks for you :D

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  • Yep, and the fact that if you buy her a drink, you're just like every other guy in the world that approaches her, so you're lumped in with them. You will never be different and stand out to her as long as you do what everyone else does.

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  • there just out for a cheap night budy. I ust to drink with girls whos whole ambition for the night was to not pay for a drink. and so many suckers would just buy them a drink thinking there in.

    girls can mell your desperation.

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