Have never been told I am attractive until now, I just don't see it.

Growing up in school, I was turned down by a few girls because they thought that I was ugly. Once in a million, I would have a girl think I was attractive. One girl even said "ewww" straight to my face. Literally a turning point in my life, I figured I was just too ugly to get a girl, so swore myself to never ask a girl out, and basically said screw relationships altogether: I pretty much lost hope and never dreamed of a life with a significant other in it. Just a single guy enjoying his life alone.

After 25 years of being single, a girl showed a lot of interest in me, and really hinted at a relationship with me. I talked myself out of her, and tried really hard not to even get close to her. However, she persisted, and finally told me how she felt. I risked it, and for the first time in my life, took her offer and am now dating her. She is wonderful, and she is beautiful (a lot of guys hit on her big time).

She thinks I am amazingly attractive and handsome, as does her mom, girl-friends, neighbors, etc. Her young neighbors have a major crush on me, as does one of her sisters. My mother's friends think I am very attractive, and when I was in my late teens/early 20's, my dad would often point out about girls in public "checking me out," which I constantly and still do deny; mainly because I never see these girls looking at me with my own eyes...or my dad was just overreacting and thinking they were checking me out when they in fact weren't.

Pardon me, but I just don't see it. I look in the mirror and see an unattractive person-no matter how little I eat (almost near-anorexic), I can't seem to get rid of my "belly jelly." I have a huge nose, big-bushy eyebrows, and skin that is easily irritated by razors, thus I have razor bumps dotting my face. While I am somewhat strong, I don't have huge muscles or a nicely-toned body. My thighs are also big, with stretch-marks ruining the uniformity of my skin.

When women tell me I am attractive, I am quick to let them know that I am not. My girlfriend often gets upset with me when I as she calls it, "puts myself down." I am just speaking the truth.

So seriously, what is my girlfriend and all these women into? I just don't see any amount of attractiveness within myself. Does my girlfriend find me attractive just because she is in love with me and my personality? Are all of these women just in love with my personality, so that it makes me "visually attractive?" I just don't get it...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You have a girlfriend who thinks your attractive and apparently the whole damn world does to according to what you say, and you wonder why she's attracted to you? Who the hell cares if your good looking or not, you got a girlfriend who thinks you are rather you say you are or not. If I were you I would quit complaining about it, and just go with the flow.

    Women are attracted to personality more than looks, they do go for looks but more along the lines of personality ever wonder why an ugly dude has a hot gf, well there you go, that's why. Men go for looks they could care less about personality that's why you see a guy with a pretty girl who has a horrible personality, I personally could care less if she has a horrible personality, as long as she's hot.

    Congrats dude your attractive welcome to the club of attractive people, quit complaning about it, and embrace it, you grew up and you got attractive what do you who would have thought. That's is exactly what happens to most people, not so good looking when they were younger and now they are.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's like the ugly duckling story, you weren't good looking when you was younger but you've grown into a gorgeous man! Or so it sounds like lol. I think I'm a bit similar in that I went through a real ugly patch from about 11-14 and you notice it then because you start to care about your appearance but then I kinda just became prettier. You have low self-esteem because of your younger days which is a pity but you need to understand that you must be very visually attractive to have people crushing on you!

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  • Being rejected while growing up has made you have low self esteem but have you not realized that most people in their younger are very shallow and don't mean half the thing they say? And looks DO NOT matter, beautiful shines from the inside out. People can over look flaws in looks. And if so many people think your attractive I bet you are but seen yourself clearly.

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  • You have Ugly Duckling Syndrome. This is common among people who grew up feeling ugly or teased for their appearance. Maybe you were awkward in some sense as a child but grew into yourself. The changes were so gradual that you didn't notice them because you see yourself everyday, but other people are attracted to the transformation.

    I understand because I feel the way you do too. I was ugly all my childhood and most of my teen years so I still sometimes see at myself as the akward nerdy girl lol. You have to be a really gorgeous guy. Girls do not react that way based on personality alone. We can be shallow just like guys, trust me, that's your looks they are in love with.

    I hope your confidence gets high enough so you can see what everyone else is seeing.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You know, once again, looks aren't everything. It doesn't matter what you look like, whether you're big or small, tall or short, if your personality is worth its weight in gold, people will overlook what you look like and like you for you. If you're had a lot of women tell you that you're hot or attractive, take it seriously. Don't put yourself down, or you'll never recover easily. I'm about 28, and have never had a girlfriend. I once thought of myself as ugly, but in reality, I'm far from it. That was nothing short of low-self esteem. It's good that you've found somebody that wants to be with you, but don't put yourself down when you're being told you're attractive. Have some faith in yourself.

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