I've been with my boyfriend for a year. Our anniversary was five days ago, actually.
For our anniversary, he drove up to my school (I'm in college) and brought me a dozen red roses and took me out for a nice dinner.
We then went back to my school, went for a walk, and then went to my room. We didn't have sex, but there was some intense making out and I did give him oral.
Then we cuddled and talked and then I walked him back to his car.
He contacted me via text the next day and we talked all that day. He usually calls me every night between 10 and 11 and we talk. He hasn't called today yet. He hasn't texted me all day. At least not since 10 AM this morning.
I know this isn't because he doesn't like my physical appearance. I'm a fairly attractive girl. Physically speaking, I'm fit and have a nice butt and a decent sized chest. So he wasn't turned off by me physically.
I'm feeling neglected and like he doesn't care. I have expressed this concern to him before, but he's returned to not talking to me really.
I understand that he has a life and I understand that he's busy, but all I'm asking for is for him to text me a little more. I know we can't call during the day because of school.
I've been feeling pretty neglected for a few weeks now. Mostly this past week. Is neglecting a reasonable cause for a break up?
I would wait until I went home next weekend (the 12th) and break up in person. I think that's better than over the phone/text.
I do love him very much. He was the perfect boyfriend for the past year minus the last few weeks. I've been away so I know it's hard, but he agreed to put in the work and he hasn't been.
He's been the most fantastic boyfriend. He's been kind, and funny, and charming. And I've known him for five years before we dated, so I know he wasn't faking.
I've asked him if he's OK and he just says he's stressed from school and sports and homework. But I'm not really buying it.
So could I break up with him and have it be reasonable or do you think there's a way to save this relationship or what?
Ok, guys. Hear me out. I used today as an example. He hasn't contacted me before 11:30 PM once in the last month. Save our anniversary and the day after. No relationship can survive without time committed by both parties. And he's not even aware I exist anymore.
You should save this relationship. It sounds like you really like him. Maybe just drop the subject of calling you more often, and instead hang out more on the weekend. And when you know he's less busy or has more time then bring up the subject of talking again. If he is a good boyfriend, then why let him go?
Ummm... Wow. Can you say selfish? or needy? If that is live you are displaying I would hate to see hate.
I know I am being rude, but this one got to me. Sure you can save it, be less selfish and more understanding. Yes it is disappointing when you can spend all the time you want with someone, and an LDR is hard, but unreasonable expectations in your part don't help.
t this point, you are doomed for a life of disappointment. Unless you change your expectations of course.
Your biggest issue is that you are in a LDR, and as it usually does, it's made you insecure and overly needy to try to compensate. It sounds to me like he's giving you a very reasonable amount of attention and care, but in the end, you simply aren't getting enough from him because the distance keeps you apart too much, and phone calls and texts just can't make up that kind of difference.
LDRs rarely work, and are usually a waste of time for all involved. IMO, your expectations ARE too high, and you'll likely either drive him away or end up unhappy yourself, so there's no winning scenario here. End this now, and date someone local to you.
You have to talk with him about your desire to talk with him more often and regularly and why the two of you have a gap in expectations of communications. Get to the heart of why there's a gap and you can both give a little and resolve it. Tell him is he is more oral in communication you'll be more oral with giving him pleasure LOL. Seriously, you just need to talk through in a non judgmental way and the two of you can resolve.
You're freaking out because he didn't call you for one day? Seriously? That's ridiculous, I'm sorry. He drove to your school and brought you roses by surprise for your anniversary, then took you out to dinner. He calls you everyday. What more do you want? Stop being so needy or he'll be the one to dump you. My boyfriend lives 10 minutes from me and we only see each other once, maybe twice a week and I'm not complaining. We are both busy with work and have lives. I think it would be incredibly selfish if you dumped him over that.