Have you ever gotten to know someone better and started liking them less thereafter?

This guy and I are getting to know each other better at the moment. And I;m finding out more about him - but I realize I like him a little less now. I;m not sure why -i used to have a crush on him. He was a hockey player (so am I) and I used to find him so inspirational. And he is rather good-looking plus I liked the fact he treats people really nice. Of course I didn’t know much personal stuff about him then - and i’m not sure if this process made me idolize him in a way that now that I know the “real” him - I’m don’t like him as much anymore.

I’m not sure if it’s the information he’s sharing either - they all seem rather minor. Like he idolizes celebs whom I don’t really like and they are all rather sexy, tall and fair-skinned - things that I’m not haha. He told me he dated 5 times but failed on all accounts in university. I have also heard things about him being rather popular with girls cause of his looks. Idk, I just prefer someone low profile I guess.

Have you been through something like that? - liked someone before knowing them well then finding out things and going off them? How would you deal in my situation?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • yeah it could happen . not something I can recall happening to me a lot but it does happen . do remember one girl I meet at work and though she'd was a good girl . only to find out after words she wasn't who she said she was and not the type I'd be into at all . it ended pretty bad and I've never seen her since . so if you know very little about someone there is a chance you would like them less if you were to find out things you didn't like . which is why it can be important to get to know someone first before dating them

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What Guys Said 6

  • That is the point of getting to know others.. You find out that you might like them or not like them. Perhaps it is time to back off.

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  • Of course. People are horrible, and if you think it is suddenly all going to be a bed of roses, then listen.

    I've never been with a woman who liked me or at least she said she didn't but we stayed together for decades. Then one day I just decided to leave her and that was the last time I saw her. As she said, she didn't like me. I then believed her and understood. So finding a new woman she started saying the same thing, so I said, OK, then, I won't be doing anything with you during the day. See you tonight, or tomorrow. Then she started to think.

    You can jack people around but eventually they take it seriously. Hopefully nobody gets hurt.

    Sounds like he is not a bad guy. Makes no difference. If he's handsome, makes no difference. If he is nice to people, makes no difference. You don't have to like him. So what if he is superficial. You don't have to watch. Find someone who is interested in you. Life is short.

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    • i'm not sure what are you trying to get at. haha. it does make a difference with these things. ie: I won't be with a superficial person because of certain things superficial people like to do. he is handsome, but does he have an ego cause of it? I'm not concerned with the surface characterisitcs: superficial, handsome, nice etc. I'm more concerned about the underlying thoughts to these traits and the consequent actions that may result from it. that's what I'm concerned about here.

  • That's happened with everyone I've liked.

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    • do you think its because you didn't know them well enough in the beginning and hence projected certain traits onto them to "fill in those gaps" so to speak, or they just hid their real selves really well?

    • It was a bit of both. A lot of them were compulsive liars.

    • right. tell me about it man. which is one reason I'm quite put off dating. most people are so dishonest about their history and themselves! and there's no way of finding out if a person is lying about their history =/ this is something I worry about when I date.

  • All the time, it's no point to even count those situations.

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  • Yes I have, that new car smell wears off and your left with something bland

    I know that feel

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  • A guy that is hot, has a good body and is attractive to lots of girls, plus none of them could make him commit? He has all the classic signs of a player. So, do you want to get played to, or not? Those hesitations you have about him is your gut check telling you to be sensible and find another guy. Are you going to listen to your gut and do what you know you have to?

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    • thats what I thought - he seems very into exercising and keeping his body looking good too=/ though I don't know if that is for his hockey purposes or if there are other narcissistic intentions. I suspect he's either a player or just really lousy with keeping girls - I mean he met all of them at least once and not sure what happened but sounds like the girls werent too interested - a player but a boring one perhaps? and he's into fast cars as well.. zzz.

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    • I wouldn't be too worried about what girls a guy finds attractive. If he's talking with you, he's attracted to you. That's always safe to assume, even if he likes other looks in girls as well.

      Yes, your instinct is correct. Highly facially attractive and muscular guys have the highest numbers of sexual partners. They also have higher levels of testosterone and sex drive, which generally makes them get more bored by monogamous relationships.

    • The bottom line is, girls should avoid most really hot guys. Most men that know they are super hot and attractive to a lot of girls will leverage that to their advantage to get plenty of casual sex. I have several male friends that are like that, two of them combined are probably over 100 girls, I kid you not.

      As a girl, it is okay to go after guys that you are somewhat attracted to, but if they are super hot/popular, there's a 9/10 chance he's a huge player and you will be used.

What Girls Said 3

  • Yes, way too many times. I just keep my distance after that so that's what I would do in your situation as well.

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  • Ah! happens all the time! It's just the before, you could only see the covering. Now, you're seeing what's inside the covering and seems like you don't like it. It always(almost!) happens to me. I fall for hot guys then find out their not the kind I prefer :)

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    • haha ya I used to face that a lot more when I was younger. ;) the thing about me is looks are important to me but so is intellect. but those two are sometimes mutually exclusive :D

  • That happened to this guy I had a crush on. When I finally really got to know him I started feeling less for him because I found out he was a player and into some crazy drugs.

    It also goes the other way because I despised this one guy and the more I got to know about him the more interested I got.

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    • ya can totally relate! people really aren't what they are.. no matter how much we observe them/hang out with them.

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