I'm not just talking about on GaG. From my own experience on GaG, girls pretend to live in this utopia where anything you'll ever want and need can be purchased using love, and money and finances play no role in how women see men.
There's a difference between pretending that money isn't the most important thing in a man, and pretending that money doesn't matter at all! I don't think people appreciate just how deep of a lie it is to say that money doesn't matter or all, or that it matters just a little bit. But I digress, everyone is free to BS themselves and those around them.
So, I'm curious to hear from both guys and girls on this issue. In your own personal experience, would you say that girls or women are generally comfortable and honest about the fact that money is an important consideration when it comes to men and relationships? In the sense that how guys are generally open and honest about how sex or physical appearances are important to them when it comes to women.
You can feel free to explain, especially if the answer is no.
Yes, in my experience, girls or women are comfortable, open, and honest about the fact that money is an important consideration when it comes to men and relationships
42% (30)22% (13)33% (43)Vote
No, in my experience, girls or women are not comfortable, open, or honest about the fact that money is an important consideration when it comes to men and relationships
Most of them aren't comfortable, as they'll coach their feelings on the matter in terms such as "I want a man who is stable, secure, etc.". Those are just code words for mildly wealthy to really wealthy, depending upon the girl.
Of the 925 single women surveyed, 75 percent said they'd have a problem with dating someone without a job. Only 4 percent of respondents asked whether they would go out with an unemployed man answered "of course."
The fact of the matter is, girls require a lot of creature comforts and they like to spend money, both that of their own, and that of their partner. Most women have a hard time living a frugal lifestyle.
Single women are more likely to rack up credit card debt than single men:
Women seek men that can give them lots of creature comforts, which is why wealthy men are very suspicious when it comes to the motives of girls who want to be with them. Women almost never marry men who make less than them. Women who also marry men who make less than the wife also are at a much higher risk of divorce than compared to when the man makes more.
Most women do not respect men who do not bring home a significant chunk of bacon, no matter what the gender equalists will claim. The studies have time and again shown that money matters a lot to a woman in choice if a mate for any long-term relationship, and even more so for marriage. Any man who has high income or high income potential should be very concerned about any girl that expresses materialistic tendencies.
when talking 1-on-1 they never admit it (sure, there are always exceptions). they will maybe say that he needs to be able to support himself and/or that he needs to show some potential/needs to be driven and passionate about something - but that's as far as it goes.
but hey, it's understandable. women don't wanna come off as gold diggers. plus in our society is bad to be successful and rich and is bad to want a lot of money, so no surprise there.
but anyone with at least some sense knows that money is important and plays a certain role in every relationship.
when a woman says that money is not important to her, there are just to options;
I think it matters less than it did but any girls who claims otherwise is lying. If women didn't care about money, sites like this www.balleralert.com wouldn't exist. That site by the way includes a service where women sign up to get text alerts when someone who is famous/rich shows up to a local hot spot so they can show up and try and get with him.
I however, only have a problem with this mentality to the extent that its only goes one way. It is OK for a women to expect a certain amount of income from a man. Vice verse, society pressures men by more or less requiring you to earn a decent living. I don't think women ever truly understand the stress of such a burden, to financially provide for a family. Women can claim they understand this but I don't think you truly feel the stress unless the safety net is taken away, which is essentially what happens to men. Women have the ability to fall back on the men in their lives for financial support (amongst other things), if they can't cut it on their own or simply don't want to. In other words, men don't have the ability to throw in the towel and seek help for their short comings.
Basically I would have no problem with women having expectations for my earnings as long as I have every right to expect them to support me as well. You wouldn't like it if I had certain expectations for your looks but didn't feel I had to meet so those same expectations. Actually this almost already happens so I think women can use this as an example to know what the flip side of this feels like.
If women admit to that having that 'cavewomen' evolutionary trait of basing a man on his status and ability to provide what she and a potential infant would need (in our society money) then they wouldn't be able to scold men for likewise having the 'caveman' evolutionary trait of looking at every piece of ass that walks into this view point.
I have known girls that don't care all that much about money and then there are others that care a lot. I think its safe to say that everyone cares to some extent, but the difference is that some girls just want you to have enough to be independent, and other girls want a rich guy because they are thieves.. just take a look at all the cu'nts who steal millions of dollars from celebrities that didn't do one thing to earn any of that money.
It's like that good movie "coming to America" with eddie murphy. We want to be comfortable with someone who likes our personality. Sure the money is important for security, but feeling emotionally secure with a man takes no money at all, its all about his personality and how he makes you feel at the end of the day. You might not believe this because you just haven't met those kind of guys. They are a lot more rare than an attractive girl.
Girls forget that James bond isn't a stud because he's rich, its because he is a secure guy that knows what to do in rough situations and also lives a very relaxed lifestyle when he's not working.
Most girls are not gold diggers (unless in a bad situation). They will not date a guy they are not interested in simply to get at his money. But -many- women are -genuinely- more attracted to guys with high incomes. Even if they receive no benefit from his money.
When it comes to marriage and children, not many women have been anticipating being the provider, and most are looking for a man who makes as much OR MORE then they do. In their mind, again, this isn't being 'interested in money'. They presume men think the same way. Of course men don't. Women will say things like 'i would marry a guy who earned less then me ... if ...'
How often do you hear a man even considering whether he would or wouldn't marry a woman who earned less then him?
Of course women like men to have money, but they also like to think that they can love someone regardless of their income. Truth is, women prefer nice things, nice homes, pretty dresses, romantic dinners and exotic vacations over the poor mans alternative. And they should, just be honest about it.
As someone who has invested a great deal of effort building a life that requires VERY little money I can say that yes it is possible to live on much less then you might think is necessary and the result of such a life style is, in my experience, more fun, more adventures, more travel, more free time, less stress, more freedom, generally just plain happier. When it comes to dating however its very hard to find women who can see past the bull sh*t that is money, its unfortunate really. Such women do exist they are just exceedingly uncommon.
Funny seeing how girls are now admitting to how they do look for money so that they are not looked down upon in the context of this question but on a different question they would have replied differently, I think females have a tendency to go with the rest of the crowd and very few are outspoken, but if you of course ask them directly then they will say "YES I SAY WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT I DONT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK" but if you were to observe them in their daily lives its easy to see that that is clearly not the way they live.
Women want equality but still want men to pay for their stuff... doesn't seems 'equal' to my "simple, blunt male logic".
The problem is that there are plenty of men who can get a girl only with money, and whether or not he picks her up from the highway or thinks that she's his girlfriend, it's still one and the same - prostitution.
But many women become comfortable of getting free stuff, of getting someone who will pay for it, most of women are not some perfect, pure angels, they're still just humans and it's in human nature to take advantage of opportunities, even if they are immortal.
However - money is still just an opportunity not the core-value, give that girl her sugar-daddy - her fat, old, ugly sugar-daddy and she will cheat her in a heartbeat!
I totally agree. Most people on here wear these social masks and act as if they're sweet little innocent angels, when we all have needs that are...well...incredibly selfish.
I think the better looking the woman, the more she will care about the financial stature of the man she's with. Girls who are average looking care less. I think that's a matter of knowing your value.
Also, as men, we care most about looks. If you're ugly, you're not going to get a high quality man. If you're very fat you're not going to get a high quality man unless he has a fetish for it (Complete minority).
Question asker, you look pretty cute, so I'm sure you get lots of guys consistently approaching you. It is equally selfish for a man to give you himself merely for you looks, as it is for a woman to give herself for financial stability. But that's life *shrug*
The funny thing is, just because a man makes money doesn't mean he's gonna take you out all the time. That's what many women think when they hear a guy makes money, they think of the lifestyle and what the money brings. In reality, money does matter. How is a man gonna take a woman out if he doesn't have a job? These are all things that are taken into consideration.
No, girls fake it to pretend like they are not gold diggers, and if they are honest about it then they get labeled as gold diggers
The problem with society is that there's so much poverty that it's become a big factor for women when choosing a man how much money he has. Now both men and women have to work to make ends meet. Men used to be able to support a woman and some kids with just one job, now the wife is working, kids are working and people are just getting by, it's ridiculous
Reach for the stars so if you fall you will land on a cloud... Money matters...
Money and success and a man of morals should matter end of story. I would then say, do you except my future and the success his have gotten so far with my business I just started. I love your wording though. Girls pretend to live in this utopia where anything you'll ever want and need can be purchased using love.
The girl I just lost, was to anther man who wasn't worthy because he had no standards. She thought everything she ever dreamed of happened to her just because he took her out to many places with his money... I like his friends who support me and I'm having a good time... How shallow. The guy has a ugly garbage mouth his friends are thugs for real and her babies are going to be a mirror reflection of them. I would say money, standards and a vision that worthy of your children mental health and success. Then good times, this is what causes a man to be worthy of a baby with you. Say that man and her lost their jobs and there money. Well more then likely they and their children will be no better then a bunch of thugs they already are.
I drive 2 cars, one is my personal BMW M6 and the other is a company issued standard American crap Ford Taurus, both are less than 2 years old. I wonder why almost every other time when I drive the BMW and stop for pedestrians without fail I'd get a wink or smile from a pretty girl, now each time I drive that crap Ford you don't get a 2nd look. This year alone I've bedded 3 girls just from flashing the BMW key fob, it's funny how plenty of girls who wouldn't take a 2nd look otherwise would suddenly change their tone when I drive the BMW.
I've also experienced many girls who wouldn't give me any time during my high school days, but now that I'm a lawyer and make good money the same girls suddenly find me highly desirable.
I don't think there is such a thing as a girl that doesn't care about a guy's financial status, those who do usually are either independently wealthy on their own or more than likely they don't live in the real world. The guys who think otherwise either they are balless to state the truth or they simply refuse to believe it that being a poor bastard only leaves you choices at the bottom of the barrel.
As they say money may not buy you happiness but it is sure as hell better to cry in a Mercedes than in a bus :D
Well this should lure in the men. So thank you very much now I can get my answer in a lumpsum. How many men are willing to admit what men are really looking for (nice boobs, sex, and absolutely no commitments)? Which is what men are really looking for. Now with that said or asked rather, I want to ask you (asker) some questions. Do you just objecttized yourself? And I'll bet you're one of those who say men just at women as objects. You just admitted you are for rent rather you're in marriage or not, you're still rented. That tells me questionably why should I feel bad if I dump a girl? She likes money and with luck unless all her looks are gone already, she'll find another man with money. Because you know how us men tenants are. We like the best things and things when they look their best. So when you're looks are gone it's time for a trade in. Thanks for this information cause when it's time to kick her out (prenum) before hand for sure, she's got to go. I'm getting new boobs, new body, and fresh sex! OK I'm done, peace, OUT!
Many of the kids on GAG don't have any understanding of how much money matters - they are living at home, or studying in college - they have never been late on a mortgage payment, or had to deal with the power being turned off in the middle of winter.
And to be honest, many girls never have to deal with that either, because when push comes to shove, they can just lower their standards enough to be with a rich ugly guy. Even if it's only for a little while.
People who are a little older, tend to know how important money can be. Which is why you will see so many older guys being way more careful and reluctant when it comes to things like marriage. They are well aware of the financial consequences to chosing unwisely.
Why do you assume that it does matter to every girl? I know very well that it doesn't...i know couples who are struggling financially and are STILL deeply in love with each other and money would never keep them apart, and they fell in love simply and plain as that, there was no thought of how much money either of them had.
Also, my own experiences, my ex boyfriend I dated for over two years didn't even have a job and he was 19-20 and I didn't even care. Ofcoarse in a couple years it would have mattered because we eventually would have needed to be able to afford a home together etc, but that's a given. I would NEVER try to be with someone just because I knew they had money, or stay with someone because I knew I'd always be able to have the things I wanted. It doesn't work like that for me, I love whoever I fall in love with and money has nothing to do with it and that's not a lie and I find it offensive that you'd think this low of all girls. Yes it does matter once you need to support each other etc. with the basic necessities but that is all... I broke up with my ex because he was a huge jerk to me, not because he was completely broke.
There's a difference between not caring about money, and not choosing your partner based on it. Obviously we all need money to get by, but that doesn't mean we have to let it affect our choice in a partner. If a guy is broke, doesn't have a job, and doesn't WANT a job, well, obviously that's a pretty big deal. But that's because it says something about his personality too, not just about the how deep his pockets are. As long as a guy has normal and practical views on money and working, and is able to support himself or is in school working towards that, I honestly am NOT going to let money influence my feelings about him. I fully intend to have my own career, so it's not like my quality of life will be dependent on my husband's money. There's no reason for me to be overly concerned about it. I just need to feel that he is responsible and will be able to contribute.
It matters to me for my personal situation. My boyfriend has been unemployed for some time and he feels sad about not finding something good for him. Therefore, he can't take me out so much, or pay for even small stuff. That's fine with me, but he feels bad for not doing it and because it has been like this for a while. A healthier and more solid financial situation would help us both as a couple. I work (not too greatly paid either) and have no problem inviting him concert tickets, or dinners out, movies, breakfast... but it's a topic we sometimes don't talk about for fear of getting tense.
If you're a student and you have your dreams ahead of you, and if you're young and wild... it's okay to live off hopes and dreams. But once you're out of school, looking for a job, you realize how hard and valuable it is to have a good job and how relieving it is to count on some money source. I'm not even talking about great expenses, I'm talking about being able to enjoy a very simple living. As a woman, I want my partner to feel complete and self sufficient, and I want to feel independent and able to pay for future dreams.
I don't think it is about how much money you own, but how much of a hard worker/ambitious person you are. It's about if someone's willing to work to get places with a significant other.
A guy I do not like and was supposed to be in love with me or something once called me and told me I make a lot of money what is wrong with you I can make you happy. I was like F*** YOU money is not gunna make me happy with you and what kind of person do you think I am. I told him even if his sh*t was made of gold I will not consider him for a second because he is disgusting and its not going to happen, money or not.
Money is important full stop. Whether you re a man a woman a child or a monkey. Money buys EVERYTHING except emotional feelings. Money can do A LOT for me right now, for my happiness for my career my family and my love life (long distance relationship).. But that doesn't mean that I am looking for a man with money.
Society slams women who mention anything about a man's finances. The socially acceptable answer for a girl is: "I don't care about money at all. As long as he treats me right, I'm goodie with that!" In mixed company we have to stick to the societal script, but when it's just girls talking, many of us will be upfront with what our financial requirements. Now some women do not care at all. I know some girls who work full-time, yet date unemployed men and pay for everything. They can get a better guy, but they love him so they stick it out. And I know other girls who won't even give a guy the time of day unless he drives a nice car and spends lots of money on her. So it varies. But no, generally women are not as open with finances like men are open about sex and attraction. Society simply doesn't allow us to be. One word about money other than "I don't care how much money he has, I'll love him regardless" then you're all the nasty names in the book and worse than a whore.
Since I'm only 18, money is not something I look for in a guy right now. But when I'm in my late twenties and early thirties, it will probably matter more. I'm not going to ask a guy what he makes outright, but later in life I would rather date a lawyer than a guy who works at McDonald's. Obviously that's not the only thing I will take into consideration, but if I get married someday, I don't want to be supporting our entire life. A marriage is a team effort.
Hmm...my boyfriend is currently on unemployment, lives with his parents, and is applying for phd programs that will only pay him $25000-40000 a year depending on where he goes and I encourage him to take that path. I think its pretty clear I don't give a rats ass about how much he makes, I just want him to be doing something that inspires and challenges him.
I think its wrong to assume financial standing is important to all girls. There are girls at every end of the spectrum--those who will only date wealthy men and those who really truly don't care about money at all. The vast majority are somewhere in between the two extremes.
I cannot answer your poll because it incorrectly assumes all girls find money to be important which is not the case.
I think money is a consideration - you don't want to be single handedly supporting him - but isn't important that he's loaded. I agree with the guy who said well established haha. I do not have problems saying that I want someone who's not either in posession in money or has a future plan towards a means of making money. As long as he's able to support himself and be middle class at least. Therefore I see no issue with voicing this. If a woman expects more then I see why she might avoid talking about it or struggle.
I don't think that it's necessarily that girls just look for guys who make bank just to get gifts or be taken out. I'm sure that's how it is for some, but I think it's more that money=responsibility and security. Those are very attractive features. In my age group (22-26ish), not many guys are responsible really. Being financially successful is a roundabout way of showing you are independent and have your stuff together. That's very hot to me at least.
But I can only speak from experience and my own opinions here. Some women I'm sure are just gold diggers deep down. However, I'm not and what I said is the honest truth for me.
it really doesn't matter to me. as long as its not taken for granted that I'm paying for everything and its appreciated. though I suppose I would prefer he had some kind of income. I'm paying for pretty much everything in my relationship right now and it doesn't bother me at all. he has no money left after his car payment because his job is giving him almost no hours.
I clicked yes because I am open and honest and so are my two closest friends. Admittedly I don't really go into things like this with my other friends, so it's only really 3 yes's!
We all agree that although money should not make the world go around it does. And again, yes, love is stronger than money, HOWEVER, if the other person is not working at all, not pulling their weight and times are tight, that's not OK. It's not fair for one person to do all the heavy lifting.
And to a degree, you cannot be blind. At some point in your relationship you will have to say - "I wanna move out, what's our budget?"
I think a lot of people are brought up saying it's not OK to talk about money. You see it on TV. A child is scorned for asking how much something costs or whatever, and as a result, people don't really talk about it...ever.
I think that women who are only wanting to be with men who have a job & just aren't bums are comfortable discussing it. But the gold digging women don't talk about it. They hide their intentions very well, they make the man feel like it's all about them, not their $$$. And the dang fools believe it. Suckers! Moral of the story, if she's upfront about it, it's probably OK. After all, you don't want to marry a woman who's poor, owes a ton of $ & has a history of bankruptcy. Right? So you'd ask. But a gold digging' man ain't saying anything but, baby I don't care about your $.
Financial security/stability is something that I will consider important once I start looking for a potential life partner. At the moment I'm in college working my ass off. So I know I will be financially secure with or without a man. I'm a very ambitious person and I would like my potential mate to be the same. If I'm to meet a guy that has all or nearly all the attributes that I'm looking for, I can over look his current financial position as long as I see that his driven and is ambitious. I don't want to end up with a bum. I want someone that will be able to look after a family. Say I'm to die, will he be able to look after my kids without the extra income from me? IF he dies, will I be able to look after our children without the extra income coming in. I put all those things into consideration. I 'm working hard so that I have a good future for myself and my kids. I don't want someone who can't support themselves. How will they be able to support a family?
With all that said, a relationship requires more than just financial security to be successful. A guy could be financially well off but if he doesn't meet my standards then there's no way in hell I'll be with him.. With my current career path, I'll be able to take care of myself and a family. So I know I'll be just fine with or without financially stable partner. Though I prefer to have one.
I have told my current boyfriend that it doesn't matter to me if he is entering a career that won't make as much money as we'd both like. And I meant that because to put it simply, as cheesy as it may sound, being with him in the long run means so much more.
Am I saying that money isn't important or that women are normally honest about this topic? No. I do realize that there are things that we won't be able to afford in life that I wanted, but I can give some of those up as long as he steps up and is ambitious in his goals and career of his choice; that's what matters most to me. If he's just going to give up and settle for whatever to get by, then we have a problem.
C. N/a to me. I don't need a man to pay for me. I'm not a prostitute and I'm also not materialistic.
It is not possible for me to answer this question honestly, without causing several negative reactions from male users. But I'll try anyways:
When I fall in love with a guy, I don't care how much money he has. I'm not looking for a financial supporter in my life, I'm looking for a partner, someone I love and who loves me.
Now come at me guys. Call me a liar, tell me I have no idea what I'm talking about and that I at least subconsciously do look for a guy with me money. Come on, tell me how I feel. You obviously all know better than girls how girls feel.
Money is important to women since the beginning of the time the man is the one with the economical responsibility while women were raising the kids. Even in this times I've heard people saying woman are made to raise the kids and stay home to cook -__-.
In my case. If a super rich guy comes along awesome , but I just look for a man who has a stable job and makes as much money as me or more than I do. Specially because if we divorce,(normally the mom keeps the children) , I want a man that can in reality still help support my children. Its not cute when they guy is working at McDonalds or a man who can't keep a job and the court only makes him pay 200$ a month and you gotta support 3 children... I'm always going to work, I'm not looking for any guy that I have to support economically 100% nor I want to economically depend on any man.