Are women interchangeable to men?

It seems that women look to connect with a guy as an individual, and guys just look for one woman or another who that they try to mold to suit their wishes, basing his selection mostly on how close she can come to his visual preferences and kind of tuning out her individual personality.

Is this a mistaken thought or something true?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is but one puss, yet she has many faces.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Couldn't be further from the truth. Honestly I think its the other way around. Women are the ones more guilty of trying to chance their partners.

    Men are usually more privy to the fact that once a person becomes an adult, they're pretty much set in their ways and will not change. Smart men will have this idea in his head of what his ideal mate will be like. That incorporates everything. Looks, style, interests, morals, values, career, family values, etc.

    When we meat a new girl, obviously (as with women), our first point on the list is looks. Partially because at the beginning its all we have to go on. We don't know you yet. Plus nobody wants to date someone they don't find attractive. That being said, guys are actually proven to be less picky with looks. Guys are generally willing to date a girl who isn't a perfect 10 if she has a great personality. If we find her attractive, then the next step is to run down our mental checklist, and see how close a match she is to our ideal partner. We'll literally create a mental list of the pros and cons about the particular girl. If we feel she checks out well in the majority of the categories, then we'll likely want to date her. If she doesn't, then instead of trying to change her (like women do), we just find someone else.

    I think where the confusion can come in though is some guys instead of moving on to someone else, will just say "well this girl isn't worthy of anything serious or marriage, but she's at least worthy of sex since she's hot". So he'll have this little fling just to get laid until something he really wants comes along. The entire time, girls like you were completely unaware that he never really liked you to begin with and was just using you for sex. For guys, this is totally obvious. From the outside looking in, we can tell what the guy is doing from day one, but for some reason the girls just can't pick up on it. The guy will clearly be using them for sex and the girls seem to think he's madly in love with her.

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    • Guys don't seem to "see" their partners inner qualities, is what I'm saying. "Mold" was the wrong word. They mainly just move from woman to woman who looks they way they want hoping she'll do everything that pleases him, it seems? They don't seem to get attached to any specific woman.

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    • At 24, I think you still have a good shot of meeting a nice girl. There are lots of women your age who are just coming into their own after being a bit shy and backwards, for instance.

    • I agree, but its a transitional age. 25 is the new 17 as I say. So you find that most people fall on one side of the fence or another and are usually in a state of confusion as to what exactly they want and should be doing in life. Generally speaking, while "good" girls still remain, at my age, they are rare. I'm a 24yr old trapped in a 34yr olds body, therefore most people I meet are just not looking for the same things I am. They just want to have fun, party, and be FWB's or something similar.

  • It's much easier for a guy to move on when it's over. However, I have seen some guys really hold onto "love." We got plenty of guys out there who pull out wedding rings on girls super fast. We also got gold diggers going from dinner date to dinner date guy after guy. I have also read online dating profiles from girls who say "Do not contact me if you don't have your own place, have a college degree, have your own car" etc.

    There are people who also believe that girls have a "Disqualifying complex" in which during the early stages of meeting someone, once the guy does something "wrong," they will immediately dismiss future opportunities with him. Such reasons could include anything from the job they have to walking in a manner that reminds them of her ex.

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    • Guys form much less attachment to any one female, is what I understand. They don't really "fall for" a single woman, they just want someone to fill a need that seves them.

  • I think both parties do it, but women more so than men.

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  • To some men with certain lifestyles, yes they are.

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  • I think that's mistaken - I think men want a set number of things from a partner. And if their partner doesn't provide them, they find it easier to get another partner than to try and change her. I don't think men try to mold the women they are with at all.

    I think for women, it's the opposite. They will try to change the man, before just giving up and trying to find a different man.

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    • So women are more interchangable -- one is just as good as another?

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    • That's definitely not true - men aren't picky about those things. We don't care about your hair or clothes. That sort of thing is what women care about.

      Same with the hobbies and so on. If she has the same hobbies, we'd never get time apart. And last I checked, men need time apart from their ladies much much more than the ladies need time apart from their men.

      I think you have it backwards.

    • I've dated several men like this, but I have no idea why if it's not that common? I'm kind of an "aloof" person, so maybe that attracts the opposite, despite not being common to gender roles.

  • I don't think women try as hard as you suggest to connect with guys as an individual. But I think they look for a few more traits then men do (though being a nice and decent person isn't actually one of them).

    And I'd suggest women try to mold men more then the other way around. Men basically want that pretty girl who is sweet and faithful and has sex with him.

    Women want a whole list of things.

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    • Men want a pretty girl who does exactly what they say, is what I mean...without taking into consideration that she might not feel the same way or is an actual human with her own likes/dislikes, interests, feelings. I think that's why women look for more traits, because we don't want to have to give up our whole identity to please our partner.

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