I have developed a deep hatred for hot women, am I wrong for this?

I have developed a deep hatred for very good looking beautiful women they have all way judge me on my looks I know I am not the best looking or they judge me on the fact I am not that bright and so on.

I am a honest, carrying, loyal, and respectful however I am very shy. I have been rejected a lot based on the physical and they won’t take the a chance to get to know me. now I have found myself turning in to a big jerk towards them .when they need help I won’t lift a finger to help I go out of my way to make them feel bad I won’t hold doors for them I just cut them off I guess you all get the picture all I ever wanted was to get married a have a big family I am 35 and time is running out fast. Am I wrong for feeling like this

Updates:
why do I have to change how I look or how smart I am when I have so much to offer
i had a really bad week and blow my top I have beeen trying to change really hard

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Most Helpful Girl

  • "very good looking beautiful women they have all way judge me on my looks"

    Guess what - you're going to prize them on their looks? It's okay then for them to value you based on yours. If you're going after "very beautiful" women, then you're probably going after women who put a lot of time and effort into looking the way that they do, and then expecting them to not care if you don't do the same. I'm not saying that physical looks should be the most important factor in anything, but you're judging based on looks too.

    Also, you talk about being caring, loyal, and respectful, but sounds like you've got NiceGuyitis - the unfortunate malady where men hide behind the excuse of being really great guys that are rejected for shallow reasons, but react with bitterness and anger when a girl's not interested. You think that kind of attitude would make any woman want to be with you? It's scary to be with a guy who has anger problems or who'll always take feeling dejected out on you.

    Is it wrong to feel like people aren't giving you a chance based on shallow reasons? No, not at all.

    Is it ridiculous to throw around hatred, whining, and a bad attitude and then STILL complain that they don't want to get to know you? Yes. If a guy refused to help me, went out of his way to make me feel bad, and dropped doors on me? Wouldn't even matter if he WAS attractive. He's still not worth a moment of my time or affection.

    Also, since you commented on intelligence - whether or not you're bright is something for you to consider, since I don't know you. But I will say intellectual connections can mean a lot. I couldn't date a man who can't have an in-depth conversation with me about literature or new studies, because those are things I'm hugely interested in. We probably wouldn't have much to talk about if he wasn't really academically-centred. That's not really about judging someone for their intelligence as much as it is finding someone who I can really connect with.

    In short - I'm sorry that you feel like you're getting the short end of things. It sucks. It ALWAYS sucks to feel like someone blows you off because you don't fit a physical ideal. But reacting the way you are isn't going to do you any favors, either in terms of getting a relationship or personally.

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    • That isn't niceguyitis, this is a case of blatant ridiculousness, thinking that beautiful women should like him despite him being a fat slob, even though he wants a woman who looks great, not a fat slob like himself. NiceGuyitis applies elsewhere, this guy is being a hypocrite who needs to get his fat ass in shape or go approach some fatties himself instead of models.

    • at AndyWes I wish I could lose weight and get in to shape how ever I was told working out would be dangrus for me by my doc as I have a fused hip 32 pins and screws and 2 metal rods in my back I can't walk very far and for very long for the same reasion when I posted this I was haveing a bad week

What Girls Said 15

  • If you're misogynistic, you have nothing to offer. All anyone wants is love. That's all a man needs and all a woman needs. So don't talk about what you have to offer - you don't have love. So you have nothing.

    I won't say you're wrong, at all. It's your decision. If you want to live your life in hate, have fun. Let's see how that works out for you.

    There is nothing I despise more than an attitude of entitlement, such as you have. That they need to get to know you and have no right to move on. That they need to cater to your needs. Who are you that you deserve that? No one. You have to struggle in this world LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, both male and female.

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    • Yea she's got a point. Although I wouldn't have said it so blatantly. A lot of us get so excited when we meet someone we're attracted to and hope they like us the same, but a lot of times it doesn't turn out that way. That's why they say rejection happens at a higher percentage. I've been told I'm hot, but it doesn't get me a relationship. Sure it gets people to approach me, but it doesn't mean they will be a true friend or a good boyfriend.

    • The "struggle" to be liked is the same for everybody - what's different is the way people approach it. That's what changes the results. He can have as many pity parties as he likes; in the end, he'll end up alone and hating life, while another guy actually tries and WINS.

      Everyone gets rejected. You can't alter the circumstances. All you can do is alter your approach.

    • Who are these women to DEMAND that they deserve hollister models and BRAD PITT. Take a dose of your own hypocritical medicine.

  • Why are you interested in "very good looking beautiful women"?

    It sounds like your interest in women has a lot to do with their physical appearance, and then you judge them when they also care about physical appearance?

    While physical appearance isn't the only thing that goes into attraction and compatibility, it still matters to most people. People want to be attracted to the person they are in a romantic/sexual relationship with.

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  • Why do you go for very good looking women? Why don't you go after average/below average girls?

    You are a very selfish man, I mean you only want the very good looking girls and expect them to accept you even though you offer them nothing.

    They work hard on their looks so they are looking for someone who is on their level of attractiveness,who work hard on their looks.

    Tell me what do you offer?

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  • Stop going after 'very good looking, beautiful women' - That's your problem right there.

    Physical attraction gets you through the door first.

    You can have so much to offer but most won't give you a chance, if you're not attractive in their eyes.

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    • i try to make my self up I tend to dress nicer not like a slob. I can't work out I am not aloud with in 100 ft of are local gym as when I did work out I get mean and throw a dumb bell at some over a stupied comment made towords me I am a full time single dad of two I love my kids but they can't give me ever thing I need OK!

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    • You have no one to blame but yourself to being a door mat. Now, that you realize that's the problem. Fix it. It'll take time, a lot of time... - You managed to get a woman before, I am sure you can down the road.

    • What ever happened to self love? Maybe finding some self-confidence would help ou reach another level.

  • There are average looking women out there who, like you, are honest, loyal, respectful and have so much to offer. Why don't you go after them since you don't approve of judging people by their looks?

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  • If you say that you are not hot , then why do you expect hot women to be attracted to you ?

    Did you try approaching women that are not physically attractive and don't plan to lose weight ? did they reject you too ? I am not asking you to change anything about , just fix your standards! and yes hot women tend to be awful , I'm with you here .. they are materialistic and all they care about is looks and money . but who cares what they think ?

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  • You can't have a wrong feeling as feelings are purely instinctive. But you can definitely act the wrong way based on a feeling. And that sounds like what you're doing. You've mentioned some admirable characteristics in yourself. But nobody is going to see past that hatred to actually spot them. If you really want people to see the good in you then stop hiding it behind that wall. Learn to be happy with yourself. For the record I am an attractive woman; you'd probably hate me. But my life hasn't turned out the way I pictured it either. Go with the Beatles view of it 'life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.'

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  • You seem to have a double standard. Maybe I am wrong but it sounds like you have been only pursuing hot women yet you expect them to not want a hot man in return. Correct me if I am wrong.

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    • Wrong and I will correct you. Women say Looks and money DONT matter. They says things like confidence and sense of humor are what attracts them...BUT if they aren't good looking and the like but are confident in themselves and funny it doesn't matter

  • I don't blame you. We just can't win. The guys who I find hot usually aren't attracted to me and if they are, they lose interest regardless. I get judged all the time and it has gotten to the point where I don't give men (no matter how hot they are) the time of day because I sadly assume they'll stop liking me. I even get judged for talking too proper.

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    • You bring up an interesting point. Sometimes I feel the same way. The ones that I am interested in aren't interested in me and I'm usually not interested in the ones who are interested in me. It's so stupid. I loathe myself sometimes about this.

    • Hey there, good lookin ;)

  • First off, get some confidence, that's not attractive AT ALL. Feeling sorry for yourself will get you nowhere. I think your psychological mindset is ignorant in regards to you "hating" good looking women who don't seem to be interested nor attracted to you. Shit, I'm going to be honest, everyone wants to be with someone who's good-looking, regardless of your social status. If you want something, go after it, all you can say is that you tried. Being an a**hole won't get you anywhere. I'm sure if the roles were switched, and there was a woman who just so happened to like you and found you physically attractive, and you didn't find her attractive at all, and didn't want to date her because of that, that's called hypocrisy. Just like you have your preferences, women do too. You can't blame them if they don't like you, not everyone will, generally speaking.

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    • @Update: Hopefully you change your mindset and things work out for the better! Good Luck!

  • Hi there. Although not right its totally understandable. In fact I feel the same...I see so many of my male friends doing everything and anything for a hot woman who is usually also bi(@:. I still maintain men love woman who are nasty to them. Don't understand it though...

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  • Get a life

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  • We've all been there at one point or another. Though saying you have a deep hatred for women. May be a bit much, more like an extremely frustrating situation understanding women. Such as you like someone their not interested. Someone likes you but, your not interested. We both like each but, neither one makes a move towards making it a reality. Life would be so much easier if we could all wear signs, joking really. Saying available sweet, friendly, family oriented, caring, fantastic in sports, never married looking for someone special etc. Then that someone special would be like hey, there's someone that I might be interested in meeting and getting to know better. Either that or maybe businesses can set up singles sections. That way you can go into a business location for dining, socializing, sporting events, various groups, etc. Then you can just easily join a table etc without any long term commitments needed. Meeting other singles in the area if you don't want to take the route of dating sites and groups. I hope life gets easier for you one day soon. Best of luck!

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  • You should pursue women based on their personalities and not their looks. It's a bit hypocritical to only pursue women based on their looks and then get angry when they judge you for your looks also :-)

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    • Oh but it's quite OK for beautiful women to do so.

  • i think you are a big hypocrite. you judge them on their looks so why are you bashing them for not looking at yours? you think you can just get a gorgeous girl for nothing? statistically speaking, people end up with a mate of a similar level of attractiveness. you shouldn't be rude to anyone. besides maybe if you were nicer to them you would at least have somewhat of a chance. by slamming doors in their face maybe you are coming off as a rude jerk and that is why they are being obnoxious.

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What Guys Said 15

  • I hate to break this to you but it's not women you hate. It's you, that you hate. Your self esteem and self worth is low. Instead of taking responsibility for these things, you're taking it out on hot women. It's not their fault, they didn't put you in this position. You put yourself there. So stop blaming other people and start taking responsibility for yourself. Hot chicksare people too, and EVERYONE on a deep level is somewhat judgmental, including you. We're hardwired that way (think evolutionary psychology).

    Look, think about it this way, if you felt good about who you are, where you're going in life and are confident do you really think you'd waste your time on hating beautiful women?

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  • You're not wrong for feeling frustrated over this. Believe me I feel it all the time.

    But what you're doing is pretty much the very definition of chauvinism. You act like a good man, but when you don't get what you want you don't see any point in it anymore and you turn into an a**hole. You're basically only a good person when it benefits you. And when you act like a jerk suddenly you're putting the blame on women.

    Again, there's no shame in feeling a bit mad but taking it out on others is shameful. You decide what kind of person you are. If you're being a jerk that's your responsibility, not anyone else. Keep fighting and don't lose confidence.

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  • You're just feeling sorry for yourself. All the qualities you're listing I bet you're using in a doormat like fashion. A lot of women work hard to get in shape and would like someone who is the same way. That's very fair on their part. Girls in their early childhood are made fun for having even the slightest bit of fat on them and are constantly criticized on every aspect of their looks, not matter how great they look. I've been around enough guy crowds to see the ridiculous amounts of criticism that go on.

    Going "out of your way" to make them feel bad is going to make them laugh at you for being such an insecure person.

    How about you pick up a woman in the same shape as you and go from there? You can't ask to have something from someone that you're not willing to get for yourself. Why target only the beautiful women? If you want someone who is attractive, you have to become attractive.

    Someone like me goes to the gym 4 or so times a week to stay in shape and I'd like to meet someone who is also in shape. I see nothing wrong with it. As far am I am concerned the unattractive people can stay with the other unattractive people as they'll probably live the same sedentary lifestyles, eat in the same unhealthy ways, and so on. Either straighten your act out, or continue being sad and miserable.

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  • Hate is .a really strong word and to have that in your heart will weigh it down. My friend every guy on this planet has been rejected in one way or another, you just have to keep trying till you meet the right woman. It's not always about looks or intelligence, they just want to feel appreciated and loved.

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  • Sorry, but that's not life. Dating and sex isn't based on 'what you have to offer' but it's also largely based on looks and how you act.

    Seriously, you're upset at beautiful women, yet you don't think you need to get your butt in shape? How come you're not trying to date fat women? Maybe you think women are supposed to look great, but they need to go for you based on how you have 'so much to offer'?

    Dude, just get in shape, burn the triple chin off on a treadmill, and you'll feel so much better about women, life, and yourself. Not to mention probably live healthier.

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  • Damn bro you're a douche.

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  • Don't have much time, so here you go...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFqYFt5qeWQ

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  • We live in the 21st century, where women(on average) have higher education & makes more money than most men. Basically, all they need from a guy IS good looks & good sex. They can do the rest themselves.

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  • Attractiveness comes 1st because Humans are emotionally driven and emotions build through kissing and sex, we can do this with many people and to narrow things down job, and values come in to it.

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  • Hatred might be a tad too strong. I think disdain is more appropriate.

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  • i've seen you on this site for a while, in my opinion, you have no reason to complain, because you have kids, so at least you have gotten laid before obviously

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  • "why do I have to change how I look or how smart I am when I have so much to offer" - Why does a woman have to be attractive if she has other things to offer?

    Stop being a hypocrite.

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  • All the times you've posted here, I suspected something like this was under the surface. All your talk of losing weight or how much you have to give, and ultimately you're just as woman-hating as the typical guy here.

    That's why you're getting nowhere.

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  • Do you only go after beautiful girls? In a sense I know how you do feel, it's not a hatred, but I'am fed up as well, and it's pretty much every girl. They put themselves on the pedal stool, and are completely self centered. I don't know what will happen to guys like us, we might meet some one, but then again; we might never be considered. Just do what I do every day. Don't look into they're eye's; don't look at them at all, as you do, then your only giving them the power.

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    • or you could try working on your self-esteem, getting in shape, dreesing well & keeping well-groomed, &(the most important part) put yourself out there.

    • I'm a health conscious freak(exercise a lot, and my body is well in shape), I like looking professional, I cut hair as a freelance job, and I also like myself. These are not the problems. The problem is that women just don't like me. Nothing that I can change about that. I just work on myself. Every girl I have ever encountered has acting like they're too good for me, so I no longer give them any my attention. I'm the guy that has to prove himself, but I believe in equality, I will not kiss ass.

  • Dont do this, you need to accept in our culture and times looks are almost as important for men as they are for women, and by almost I mean like 80-90%.

    Its not enough anymore to have a good personality, be a productive member of society or be of high status, you need to look like you take care of your apearence otherwise how can they value your opinion of theirs?

    And I don't mean shave and brush you teeth and put on a suite I mean go to the gym and look like you do, women spend time every day putting on make up, straightening their hair, shaving their legs, guys need to put in time jogging and weight lifting.

    If you are not feeling up to it mentally see a doctor such as an endocrinologist.

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