Please explain the fascination with girls who look strong but betray an inner tenderness.

I've been told by a male friend that there's nothing more alluring than the following: an attractive girl whose looks make her appear strong, deep, almost to the point of seeming stand-offish, yet also reveals a certain tenderness / childishness during conversation and in mannerism.

He said that the mixture of toughness and tenderness in a girl is the most enticing thing for guys. Agree or disagree?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm with a girl like this right now. She seems strong because she is self-reliant...and is not afraid to learn or try anything.(kinda like a tomboy), but she is a girlie girl in the looks and emotions department. Its like she has a strong side...and a very sensitive side at the same time. She doesn't need a guy to take care of her, but wants a guy for emotional reassurance. I like it because I'm not interested in a girl who relies on a guy for every need...yet I think its in our DNA to protect and support women both physically, and emotionally. There's a very thin line between innocent...openess, vulnerability, verses seeming childish due to immaturity. So, I guess I mostly agree.

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What Guys Said 3

  • It's because we want someone who is both strong and vulnerable. It's wonderful to have a lover that stands up for what they believe in and can hold their own, but at the end of the day we need someone soft in bed (both physically and metaphorically :P) who can really open up to us, and who we can really open up to.

    It's all balance, yo.

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  • I think your male friend is wrong..

    I like the nice girls who are sweet, cute and I sense would take good care of me and treat me well. The bitchy ones can have fun being frustrated their whole life

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  • Disagree

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What Girls Said 3

  • I'd think most guys would like it.

    Like a girl who appears to be able to look after herself; modern woman, interdependent, doesn't need a man to take care of her. But has a softer side too; can be very sweet and innocent and likes being looked after some of the time.

    Plenty of guys like that. It lets their egos be fed a little - but they don't have to do ALL the work and provide for us in every way.

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  • The fascination is that she proves her personality to be completely different than what she comes across as.

    If she comes across as this self-assured, confident, strong, independent female but turns out to be a little quirky, relaxed and chill, she shows that she has more to offer than her appearance or what could be deemed fake confidence.

    That's a lot more attractive than the girls who APPEAR self-assured, confident, strong and independent and you begin talking to them or going out with them and find out they're really insecure about themselves.

    I think the toughness just shows that she's strong and can stand for herself but she can sort of...what's the word, conform to her role as a female. She can conform as a woman of 2012 but still conform to typical gender roles of being nurturing, tendering, understanding and supportive.

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  • A girl that is soft and vulnerable all the time may be easy for other guys to get with. A strong standoffish women isn't likely to be easily swayed, more self control

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