How important is the way your girlfriend looks in a bathing suit to you?

So I'm not a fat girl but I hate the way I look in bathing suits which obviously prevents me for wanting to go to the pool with my boyfriend. I really don't want him to see me in a bathing suit because I have stretch marks on my sides and hips and even though I'm thin my arms are jiggly which with regular clothes doesn't look awful but in underwear or bathing suits it makes me feel disgusting. Also the reason why we haven't had sex.

how important is the way your girlfriend looks in a bathing suit to you? Would you break up with her because of it?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, you hate the way you look (sometimes) and you feel disgusting (sometimes) and you're choosing to not have sex (even though you want to) and you're afraid of losing your boyfriend because of who you really are.

    So, maybe you should look a little deeper into this than just the bathing suit issue; I bet you could use some confidence, self esteem, and so on in multiple areas. Then, the bathing suit concern dissolves on its own.

    Because: a) you're probably negative about yourself and that isn't attractive. B) you sound like the type of person who can't wear what she wants or go where she wants or do what she wants which seems very sad and frustrating. C) if you felt better, you'd know that any guy worth being with would NOT leave over stretch marks or jiggly arms.

    Here's a secret: Your boyfriend KNOWS how big you are already; you're not "hiding" anything. And he knows how your arms (and every other girl's arms) jiggle sometimes. He probably doesn't care. He'd probably be ecstatic to see you in a bathing suit at last, let alone have sex finally!

    And if he DOES care, then he's a jerk. You'd find out after one trip to the pool and you'd know to dump him, which might help you with your self confidence problem anyways.


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What Guys Said 3

  • He'll have to see you sooner or later. If he cares enough that he'll break up with you over your physical appearance, let him. By refusing to let him see you, you're only delaying the inevitable.

    How you look in a bathing suit is not that important. Of course, it all depends on your guy. If he's a surfer or something, it might mean everything to him. On the other hand, he might not care at all.

  • Stretch marks on the hips, thighs and breasts are *very* common. This is a fact of life and nothing at all to worry about. My girlfriend has them and yes, when she says "look"; you can see them, but I never notice them unless she points to them.

    I find her very sexy, and along with the other things that she hates about herself like a little excess weight they are a *none issue*.

    You shouldn't let it affect the things you want to do, don't get hung up about it.

    Being sexy is more than just skin deep, it comes from inside anybody that says otherwise I would consider to be a shallow person.

  • Brokenheart is right when she says if the guy breaks up with you over how you look in a bathing suit then he wasn't the right guy for you.

    i'm not the best looking guy in the world. I was really nervous about taking a scuba class and being around a lot of people I didn't know in my swim trunks. Then I realized it was silly. Most people aren't going to really care about it or even notice it. So I went and just decided not to worry about it, faked some confidence, and it all worked out.

    if you want to take things slowly get a one piece suit over a two piece. I personally think a one piece is more attractive anyway.

    but here's the kicker. If you really love this guy, and you eventually want to have sex with him, you're going to eventually have to be naked around him. And pretending you never want to have sex, but you end up marrying the guy, he'll eventually see you naked then. What are you going to do, sneak around the house all the time waiting for him to leave for work or always lock the bathroom door? ((this is by no means an endorsement for you to go have sex with this guy right away. ))

    you can't live in fear forever. Sadly, the guy could be shallow and not like how you look or something, but then he's a jerk you don't want to be with anyway. Never let another person's opinion affect how you fell about yourself. Be confidence, be happy, and be healthy.

    as for the stretch marks, vitamin e lotion and cocoa butter are the two things I've seen suggested the most. (i have stretch marks on my legs and hips. ) also, with time they fade out as well naturally.


What Girls Said 4

  • Girl you have never seen a butt ugly ass girl with a great looking man? I see them a dime a dozen and the other way around. My point is that it does not matter what you look like or what you do a man that loves you, loves you forever and no matter what. If he leaves you because of the way you look he never loved you to begin with and your better off without him.

    as far as the stretch marks you know what helped me a lot. This is just so you feel better not for him. Who cares what he thinks! Go to a tanning salon and get a spray tan all over. The appearance of the stretch marks just fade! Also use a lot of vitamin e that seemed to help me a lot! & finally be confident, there is nothing sexier than a confident woman no matter what her size is! Good luck!

  • When I started going through puberty I got stretch marks all over my body, on my hips, inner thighs, and breasts mostly. It doesn't always happen because you are fat, for me it happened because my body decided to change shape so quickly! I just want to tell you, don't worry, the marks will fade over time. You can speed up the process by treating them with almond oil. :)

    let me tell you, all women have floppy arms! Its not fat, when you relax your biceps the muscle there goes all jiggly. Even actresses in hollywood's arms are like this. If your boyfriend leaves you because of how you look in a bathing suit, he doesn't deserve to be with you in the first place.

    • If you don't mind me asking-- how have you dealt with the stretch marks on your breasts?? Have you let it affect the bathing suits and clothes you buy? And do you feel self conscious about it? Haha- lots of questions, but I have just always wondered about those things.

    • No, I buy and wear what I want. Those marks like the others have faded over time as well.

  • First off, I bet you are beautiful and I am sure your boyfriend doesn't care. No, I would not break up over something like that.

  • If guys wanted to date someone who didn't jiggle, they'd date men! lol!