I want to be a housewife and a mother, is that so weird?

I´m 24 years old now, I work to pay college and I´m about to graduate with a degree in history because I want to teach in schools or in another college. However, since I was a baby, my biggest dream and desire was to be a housewife and have children. I want to wait for someone with food on the table, I want to make a nice home for the man I love, I want to prepare a Christmas tree with children laughing around, I want to bake cookies lol, I don´t know, I guess I´m very traditional or old fashioned.

I do want to work as a history teacher, but my main dream and goal in this life is to have a family, make my husband happy and raise cute, bubbly, innocent, adorably smart little babies.

I feel kind of guilty about wanting this though. I feel as if I don´t belong in this era we live in. I feel I should want something else out of life and I also feel I should be doing something else other than studying and dreaming about a family. I feel like I should be sleeping with different men and being independent and just the opposite of what I am.

I also think that guys find this a huge turn off because it seems like no one wants to settle down and have a family nowadays.

Should I change and try to dream about something else? but what is there apart from having a family? I don´t know, I´m very confused. I talk to my friends who are my age and none of them want to get married, they don´t want to be in committed relationships, they don´t want children and they say they hate romance and old fashioned things like that. And I feel so bad when I listen to them because I do want romance and old fashioned things...

Updates:
I thought girls were going to agree with me and guys were going to say I was a turn off. well, I was wrong. Apparently it´s the opposite. I think that it has become "fashionable" for women to say that they don´t want to get married, that they don´t want to commit, that they don´t want children. It´s the "cool" thing to say. So, THAT makes me sad. But then again, maybe the girls who say it here mean it. Who knows? only they do.
Raising a family and taking care of your home doesn´t mean you are a couch potato. I do think it´s very important for women to have a carreer and a job at least for a few hours a day (not when babies are very little though). My mother is a housewife and was home everyday while I was growing up, but she never did anything for herself so I don´t think that´s good. There has to be a balance. A woman who puts family first but also worried about her own life is the best example.

1|0
8|11

Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally, I find you a breath of fresh air. Indeed, were I single now, I'd ask you to marry me ;)

    Your friends have their own dreams and aspirations, and that's alright. If they aren't making you feel bad about it, there's really no problem. You are merely different, different can be good, in my case, your difference is very good. Admittedly guys out there who want that are also becoming increasingly rare. But they are out there.

    Anyway, hold on to your dreams, they are yours and no one can take them from you, only you can let them die. Good luck I hope you find a worthy man who appreciates your dreams.

    2|1
    2|0
    • @update - aww well my wife would agree with you too hehe. She shares your aspirations. And she fully supports the women who don't want marriage or family and a career.

    • @update2 yep, especially with small kids, it's constant busy.

What Guys Said 10

  • Working women are and will not be able to give the family what a home maker can.

    Perfection would be husband and wife sharing everything including household chores, kids and work alike.But we don't live in a perfect world which is what keeps the excitement (or rigours) of life going

    Handling a house and children is a far tedious job than just working to earn money. But doing both together will compromise something and most likely the quality time for the kid(s).

    I've done that for about 6 months :D sat at home, done my work, taken care of my daughter who was less than a year old at that time (I took up the challenge cause that's my life's ambition - being with my daughter every breath without suffocating her when she grows ofcourse lol), taken care of household chores including cooking, caring for my father in law who was bed ridden (brain degeneration - so he could walk but with support only and quite a heavy guy at that) and would want to change the chamber he is in every 2 - 5 min so had to be supported and carried out ... believe me it was fun and that was cause I was successful & was on top of my work (regional manager those days handling 8 states so had people doing the running around and when I had to go for an important meeting I'd carry my daughter with me :D :D right inside the meeting no matter what level lol and FIL would be with a caretaker)

    On the whole young lady, it's more fun being a home maker though more responsible job and tedious. I'd give it a thumbs up any day

    But I reteirate, do something small whenever there's free time (generally the only free time with a kid around is when he/she sleeps) and put it away as your personal savings. You will be thankful for this someday and also you will never get the 'I am useless' (common and happens wiht homemakers after a few years) feeling and keep your confidence levels high since you are also working :D

    0|0
    0|0
  • No neither are your dreams weird nor are you. You have a dream that a lot of women share with you.

    It's perfectly normal to be what you are the way you are :)

    But still do some earnings and keep yourself busy with some remunerative vocation - you will not regret it whenever :)

    2|0
    0|0
  • No, it is not weird...it's fantastic. You should feel great about it, not bad like the first two female responders here try to make you feel. Women who think like them are part of the problem with our society today. Women who think like you are few and far between, and the word would be a better place if more were like you.

    I'll say this, not to pat ourselves on the back, but to make a point...my wife and I have raised two really good kids...really good by any standard. They are smart and well adjusted, and treat women with kindness and respect, the way they were taught by their parents. They will be valuable members of society as adults. My wife stayed home during the first 13 years of child rearing, and I'm convinced that was the biggest reason our kids are who they are. My wife will tell you that those 13 years were the happiest years of her life, and nary a day goes by when she doesn't lament the fact she had to go back to work to help make end meet.

    My wife is a very confident, intelligent, intellectual college educated woman, who is now a corporate exec. She would relish a chance to have a discussion with the first two female responders here and help them pull their heads out of the butts.

    1|0
    1|0
    • Yes, I agree with you and I think that the mother staying at home is extremely important for childrrn. Of course, not all women are lucky enough to do this. And about the first two female answers, well, I feel kind of sad for them.

    • I agree - we were very lucky in that regard and not everyone has that opportunity. Even if the opportunity exists, though, many women don't want it because they have been conditioned to believe that if they do stay home with their children they are somehow letting down the "sisterhood of feminism". I really hope you are able to stay home with your kids, and applaud you for not caving in to the pressures of the first two female posters. I feel sad for them as well, and for their kids and SOs.

  • If that's how you feel and want, why do you have to change it because other people don't want that? You are your own person; you don't have to live the same lives as everyone else. There are people who enjoy getting high all the time, partying all the time, and yes, sleep with a bunch of people without a care in the world, just f***ing and chucking them out like sex doesn't mean anything, but I don't feel I have to live that life. The way I see it, they can live the lifestyle that they want, and I'll live mine. It's so easy to go on and follow what everyone else thinks is socially acceptable, it's often a lot harder to not fall into the social pressures because then people think you're the "weird" one or something must be wrong with you for not doing it.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It is not weird, and not a turn off at all. I actually think that makes you more of a woman and I wish I will find eventually a girl who thinks like you do. Do not let society brain-wash you about what is good or wrong for a woman, make your own decisions and choose your own values.

    Traditional render roles worked very well for centuries because they are part of our nature, women were not meant to act like men and men were not meant to act like girls. The more we drift apart from our nature, the more unhappy we will be.

    I would rather die alone than marry a woman who thinks and acts like a man, I want to marry a true lady not a man with a vagina.

    1|0
    1|0
  • Good for you. No, it's not a bad thing at all. The world actually needs women like you, or nobody would have a mom that was worth a damn

    I agree with you. Women think it's empowering to be whores. They think that it's empowering, when in reality, it's the opposite, and simply proves their lack of good decision making skills. Lots of women will say that Lady Gaga is a feminist, and that Lady Gaga makes all of these deep statements about being a woman. No, not really. She's just another bitch singing songs about being a bitch, but you're dumb enough to believe her when she says it's empowering. People like her actually make the whole of womankind look dumber just for existing.

    A woman should be strong enough to take care of herself, ESPECIALLY if she wants to be a housewife, so she doesn't end up in a situation where she gets stuck and HAS to rely on that guy, and HAS to stay in that relationship.

    1|1
    1|0
  • I see absolutely zero problems with that...just watch your back for feminists who want to assassinate you for "setting them back". :-P

    1|1
    2|0
  • WE NEED MORE GIRLS LIKE YOU.

    1|1
    1|0
  • the only people who would have a problem with you are feminists anddd men who aren't ready to settle down yet. just avoid feminists and the men who don't want to settle down yet and you'll be fine. go for your dream!

    1|1
    1|0
    • I'm a feminist and she has every right to become a housewife if she wants...true feminists should encourage women to do whatever their life's dream is. What's important is her choice in the matter, she shouldn't have to be a working mother if she doesn't want to just as someone else shouldn't have to be a stay-at-home mom if she'd rather work

    • hmmm kmhco what you say is correct and I agree with you BUT on one point and the change is 'every human should do whatever their life's dream is' ;)

  • I think that's amazing, I myself would like to get married and start a family and be able to provide for them, I wish there more women like you

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 8

  • I want to be a housewife and a mother, is that so weird?

    Not weird to me.

    Should I change and try to dream about something else?

    Not in my opinion. Perhaps venture out of your environment and find guys who want the same as you. If you're in America perhaps try other countries to find a guy who wants to settle down and have a family as it seems most American guys regard marriage as a death sentence and hold some level of hatred towards gals regarding them as holes to bust a nut in.

    But what is there apart from having a family?

    Let's plenty for some people. It appears you're not one of them. If having a family is all that encompasses you then focus on that and having a happy and healthy family.

    "And I feel so bad when I listen to them because I do want romance and old fashioned things..."

    Likely you don't unless you think gals are inferior to guys, gals are property more than human beings, husbands can't rape their wives, and gals shouldn't have the same rights as guys. Probably suited not to romanticize or idealize 'old fashioned' times as I've known many gals who lived in those times and they hated it and were gleeful to dance on their husbands graves.

    1|0
    0|1
    • You had me until your last paragraph. You can't reconcile your first two paragraphs with your last one, you contradict yourself, in a big way.

    • Show All
    • @TheUglyOne

      Nice fail.

      I was telling the Asker likely she doesn't want old-fashioned things as they include notions like 'gals are inferior to guys' and that more likely she's romanticizing/idealizing what's old-fashioned.

    • @TheUglyOne

      Unlikely that you could go on as your claim was:

      "Not to mention, you presume to dictate to her what she can and cannot want lol"

      Yet suddenly it's now I'm telling her that she doesn't really want this.

      Telling her she doesn't want this /= telling her what she can and can not want.

  • There's nothing wrong with that at all, as long as your husband makes enough to support the family. :) My mom was a housewife until I was 16, and it's very respectable. She actually would have rather worked (and she was excited to get a job after 16 years), but personally I would also love to be a housewife. What's wrong with wanting to be around your children all the time? :)

    2|0
    0|0
  • Really? I love working and I wouldn't be able to cope with it, but we are all different, which is good. And I don't think sleeping around means you are independent at all.

    1|0
    0|0
    • It's not. Using people doesn't prove you're independant. It proves you have to use people, which is the opposite

  • Why would you think you're a bad person or something? You have the right today to CHOOSE what you want to do. Just keep doing what you're doing.

    2|1
    0|0
  • It's not weird, is what you want.everyone wants different things in life.

    For you a housewife is a comfortable existed, for me personally I couldn't see myself in that role. But I also plan on dying within the next 2 years.

    Party, travel, f***, party, travel, party, die. that's my life plan.

    Yours at least helps the world in a way.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're not weird you are okay. These days many women work and have babies and bake cookies and have a meal on the table for people when they get home and decorate the Christmas tree.

    Lots of women end up doing both.

    The best thing to do though is what you feel is right for you, it's a big mistake to do what other people tell you that you should be doing.

    1|0
    0|0
  • That's not my life's dream, but you should absolutely hang onto it. Don't change your dreams just because others don't share the same dream. You have every right to become a housewife if that's what you want. It might be more difficult than it once was (the cost of living for families often requires two incomes nowadays) but its not impossible.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Not my taste at all but whatevs.

    Sounds like a boring existence to me. With how my personality is wired I would be driven insane doing that and I think it's fair to assume I'd kill myself. My husband would come home one day to find me either hanging from the fan or with slit wrists in the tub or having overdosed in bed.

    Or he'd come home to a note and divorce papers.

    Whichever is easier at that moment.

    But more power to you.

    3|0
    3|2
    • Haha that's not my name. Not even close.

    • Show All
    • Oh, hello, WickedEvedLeo, how are you? I guess the guy was wrong about my identity. I'm a leo, too though.

    • He's a stalker. Stalkers are wrong about everything. Block him. Done. He's a multiple accounter. And there's nothing wrong with being a housewife or a career woman:)

Loading...