i was with my friend at the mall earlier today. I saw my boyfriend cross dressing, a really bad wig gave it away. he told me he couldn't help me with my homework because he was called in to work.
he was in a Nine West store trying shoes on. He had on some makeup, nice Capri jeans, belt, and a tank top. With the warm weather here in Honolulu, I notice that he even shaved his armpits, and his legs.
my friend and I were surprised. I don't know what to say when he calls me. is my boyfriend gay, or what? I don't know if I should continue to love him, support him, or what?
Well just to make sure you know, a crossdressing guy is not necessarily gay. Those are two different things even though logically they may seem similar. You don't know the full story either, it might have been a bet he lost, but even if he likes doing that kind of stuff, that doesn't mean he's gay. I think you should meet him in person and just gently bring the subject up. Obviously you can't go on normally like before until you get this out in the open, so don't pretend everything is alright and talk to him about it, but again, be gentle about it.
Hey, just check his size. It's possible your wardrobe just doubled. While it isn't my thing, that is a fairly common thing. It does not mean he is a dangerous criminal. Did he see you? If not I would think you would just keep it too yourself for the time being as you check him out. Once your suspicions are confirmed try to hint at it. It will be much easier on him if you let him share the information than if you confront him with it.
Tell him that you saw him at the mall, and tell him that you caught him lying to you. Accuse him of lying ,and tell him how much you don't appreciate it.
Don't accuse him of being gay. The best case scenario is that he lost a bet and had to pay up in the form of humility. Or he could be getting ready for a very surprising practical joke. Ask him why he was at the mall and what he was doing. Let him explain himself, and it could be harmless fun (or not so fun).
Anyway, the only thing you can accuse him of is lying, and you have a right to be very angry at him for that. Talk to him in person.
I say you should definitely talk to him about it, because in order for him to be in a serious relationship with you he should be honest about important aspects of his life to you. You need to know why he does this, and after knowing the why, then you can decide your opinion of it (i.e. supporting it, coming to terms, questioning the relationship)
Obviously with what he was wearing it looks like he does this possibly on a regular basis which probably isn't a good thing because he is creating alibis to tell you, trying to keep you from a large part of his life.
When he calls you make sure you suggest meeting up to talk about "something".
Cross dressing isn't being gay... but being lied to is another issue. Talk to him, ask for an explanation... if you actually love him you love him for who he is as a whole... if not... then it's not love.
Sounds like he's gay. The average heterosexual guy is not crossdressing. Only you know what you would put up with but I would dump him with the quickness and tell him I saw him. If he was comfortable enough to go out in public like that he probably does it on the regular. I take this highly seriously because he could possibly be on the downlow. He lied to you and would keep hiding this from you if you didn't find out. How can you support something that he wasnt honest about?