Should I leave my boyfriend because he can't fight?

So I've been dating this guy for about 2 months and he's in pretty good shape, like not super muscular or anything but average I guess? Which is totally fine since that's what I like. But he's always acting like a hard ass and today I found out he's not.

We were at the mall and this guy was checking me out while we were waiting in line. My boyfriend started to get really jealous and wanted to confront him about it. I said it was okay, guys are gonna look at girls but he went up to him and this is how the convo went:

BF:"Are you checking out my girl?

Guy: "Actually I was, you have a really cute girlfriend man" (He smiled at both of us)

BF: "Why the f*** are you checking her out, she's with me"

Guy: "Why do you care? She's with you."

BF: "Don't ever let me catch you looking at her again a**hole"

Guy: "Orrrr what?!?!?!" (He winked at me and crossed his arms while looking at my bf)

BF: "Whatever, lets go babe"

I was quiet the whole time just to see what my boyfriend would do and he ended up doing nothing after all that talk and after that guy disrespected him like that. I never wanted him to fight in the first place because that was a stupid reason but he started it and never finished it. I'm not sure I want to be with someone who can't protect me if something happens.

Do you think he seems like a coward of am I seeing it wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you're seeing it wrong. Yes he backed down, but he made the right call. Would you rather he made the call to continue to a fight? Would it be preferable that he ended up arrested? Would it be preferred that he ended up really badly hurt? Also, how far would he have to take that fight? Where does it end?

    OK, so he has some stupid posturing issues, and stupid jealousy issues, but that can be worked out. If there was a reason to leave him, I'd say it would be for his stupid jealousy. Leaving before it turned into a fight? No. That's not something you should fault him on. It's better he left. If you honestly think him continuing that stupid fucking argument to the point of assault is a good thing, then you've got issues, lady.

    You're looking at it the wrong way. If there's anything to get ticked about, it's his jealousy. Give him shit. Make him rein it in. Make sure he never picks stupid fights like that, again, because that one guy was right. You're with him. It shouldn't matter. Why should he care?

    But bottom line is, the jealousy was his problem. Not the fact that he backed down.

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What Guys Said 13

  • He made an ass out of himself but maybe he wasn't looking to brawl. Maybe he was just looking to put something out there? The other guy wasn't too tough either obviously.

    If you are thinking of dating the large framed muscular males because you think they can protect you think again. I'm a medium framed soldier and the last guy I'm afraid of is a real tall muscular male. Yeah their women think them tough but the reality is that they can't fight. Someone like that isn't going to be very tough fibered or have the mean streak needed to win. Any medium framed male who really wants to hurt that pretty thing is going to rip him apart easily. The average punching bag usually puts up a better fight.

    The guy we are mindful of is someone our own size or smaller, especially the smaller guys. They're going to be fast and mean while possibly wanting to keep on going and going and going and going if they win.

    Honestly it sounds like he wanted you to see him as someone who stands up for himself. I strongly doubt that he really cared about you getting checked out.

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    • "I'm a medium framed soldier and the last guy I'm afraid of is a real tall muscular male. Yeah their women think them tough but the reality is that they can't fight. Someone like that isn't going to be very tough fibered or have the mean streak needed to win."

      VERY TRUE. I hate the fact girls think being overly muscular equals being a great fighter.

  • No. I don't think he's a coward. But possibly used some good common sense by leaving before someone got hurt or possibly locked up. After your boyfriend confronted him maybe good sense stepped in, therefore defusing a possible physical confrontation. If you're worried about his fighting ability enroll him in a martial arts class. Good Luck

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  • if he actually starting throwing fists about it than you should actually leave him.

    its nothing to fight over, and the only reason the other guy winked at you like that was to piss off your bf

    hr probably just thought he was defending you

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  • What the f is wrong with you? You act like he got his ass beat. What he did was stupid and he realized it. Do you expect him to fight? It's childish. Just because he didn't fight, it doesn't mean he is unable to protect you. He wanted to intimidate the guy (I guess he did it before/it works most of the time)... as soon as he realized the guy isn't a submissive nerd, he walked away. That's what "wannabe tough guys/bullies" do. You shouldn't be surprised.

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  • You should want to dump him for picking the fight in the first place, not for not going through with it. What the hell is wrong with you?

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  • Just let people look, Jesus...

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  • First off he does sound like a deushe. 2nd he didn't fight the guy, you have no idea if he can fight.

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  • A little bit of both. He bitched out but you can't say he can't fight just because he didn't.

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  • I would have started laughing at your boyfriend for making an ass out of himself. He's just a s*** talker. His mouth will get him into more trouble than his fists will ever get him out of.

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  • Beta male.

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  • What the f*** is wrong with you? Are you f***ing crazy or something? So it would be better he fought the guy and ended up hurt, or in jail? No, he did the smart thing. He thought twice, and backed off. What's your damage?

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  • It's not like you were in any danger. I'm guessing if you were in actual trouble he would have fought. I think that if he confronts every guy that checks you out he is going to get worn out ha. I don't think he should have confronted the guy, but I think it is good that he actually didn't start a fist fight with him.

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  • He didn't disrespect your boyfriend, your boyfriend disrespected him, and if that was me, I would of been like okay man and showed him that I'm weak so I can just walk away, giving him the impression that I'm soft, because where I'am from, we been taught that the loud gangsters are soft, it's the quite people you need to watch out for!

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    • and yes this is true. I'm quite and look really scrawny, but after my last fight 10 years ago, people still fear me! Anytime I run into somebody in high school, that's all I get reminded of, the 5 ft freshmen that f***ed up a 6 ft senior!

What Girls Said 5

  • I honestly think you are making this a big deal when its not one. In fact he actually did the smarter thing. By walking away it showed he had more restraint and intelligence than a guy who thinks through his fists. Just because he didn't fight didn't mean he couldn't have, he just knows when to pick his battles. Plus getting into a fight has repercussions like the police being called, him really hurting the guy, getting hurt himself, etc.

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  • He doesn't seem like a coward at all. I think your boyfriend did the mature thing and left the scene. He shouldn't have went over to the guy in the first place.

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  • He doesn't sound like a coward he sounds like a hot headed moron. Any guy worth keeping would've handled that situation much more maturely. He's like the human equivalent of a chihuahua.

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  • Yeah your boyfriend is really insecure and kind of a punk. I see what you're saying its like he shouldn't have started sh*t in the beginning, but if you are at least finish it. You have to go hard if you're gonna go at all. that did make him look weak because he backed down when he knew the other guy wasn't gonna be scared of him.

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  • Out of curiosity , What race was the guy who was flirting with you

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