Girls, what matters more: confidence or looks?

Now I don't mean a cocky or a douche bag guy. I'm talking about a normal situation like when you're at a party. My friends tell me that I'm not a bad looking dude (but I'm no hottie either lol) but I just have no confidence and no game. I've never had a girlfriend before and I've never had a girl that I was into, like me back. I'm 20 years old. I've been lifting for a few months now but it's winter so I haven't had time to take my shirt off lol. Maybe it was because I didn't have balls to show them that I liked them. I don't know the reason. So what's your opinions, girls? My friend told me that girls are not like guys who are visual people who base their preferences a lot on looks. Girls look for a guy who they can talk to and share emotions with and that girls are more emotional people rather than caring about looks as much. Is that true?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well it's funny because my friends keep telling me the same thing, that I'm quite pretty but my lack of confidence sometimes ruins it. if you keep lowering what everyone think about you and acting in a way that doesn't show others your worth then they ll just start to believe you ! ( like for example you wrote 'im not a bad looking guy (but I'm not a hottie either!)' well you don't need to add the negative because I'm sure some girls will find you hot )

    So what I'm trying to say is that it's not about a girl/boy thing, but just in general you reflect to others what they think about you, unintentionally. Start complimenting yourself more, stop watering down any compliment you get and start showing off a bit more. It's not about being a douche, juste showing off enough for people to know you're a great, good looking, and interesting guy. And then you'll see girls will notice you more I'm sure.

    • im like that because I've never had a girl that I like become interested in me even when I'm talking to them fine. we would either be at a party and talk and then never see each other again, or if I'm with a friend, she's interested in him instead or if we talk more, she becomes a friend instead. so that's why I'm like "wtf am I doing wrong?" I've had two of my friends girlfriends tell them that I'm not a bad look dude and they don't know why I have trouble with girls. my history contradicts that.


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What Girls Said 3

  • Looks

  • I don't know why guys keep perpetuating this myth that girls don't care about looks. Yes, we definitely do care about looks. And every hot, muscley guy at the gym knows it. Maybe it doesn't matter to us as much as you guys, but it still matters. Confidence is also important.

    • well I would show you a picture of my body to get some opinions but I'm not level 4 yet with the xper points.

  • looks matter a lot, especially if you want to hook up

    I wouldn't date a guy who I didn't want to have sex with.I do want emotional connection, but emotional connection without sexual attraction is just friendship.

    Confidence also matters because a guy is more attractive when he's sure of himself and masculine.not an obviously insecure bumbling sack of nerves

    • but I'm not trying to hook up. I'm just trying to get to know a girl and then get her to like me and date me. I mean yeah sure, I wanna kiss her and hold her in my arms but it's not like my main goal is to f*** her.

    • If a girl wouldn't hook up with a guy, she probably wouldn't wanna date him either

What Guys Said 1

  • Keep lifting weights, work on your posture and befriend some guys who are good with getting girls. You need to model your behavior on someone successful.