Why do I always feel like they are now less valuable?

When I find out a girl I like sleeps around or has had many sexual partners why do I feel like they are now worth less than they were before? For me it will make me look at then completely different and I know I shouldn't and that it's kind if dumb because obviously people are going to be attracted to many different people and its no different than if I slept with them but how can I look at it differently, it bugs me and I get jealous easy :/


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe yiu feel like they're going to compare you? Or do you feel like they have less integrit for not having self control?

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    • I like this answer, you aren't putting down guys like most of the other ones and I think you're answer is right.

What Girls Said 4

  • Why do I always feel like they are now less valuable?

    Probably because you're a typical male with double standards and who applies traditional gender roles when it suits him.

    It's quite understandable to me that you feel they are now less valuable as in my opinion guys regard gals as sexual objects for their use and finding out their object has been used by a certain amount of others devalues it.

    How can I look at it differently, it bugs me and I get jealous easy?

    Egh likely for you to look at it differently would take you letting go of patriarchal notions, working on your jealousy, and valuing gals as human beings not sexual objects.

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    • It isn't a double standard unless the guy is going around having sex with a bunch of women. Not all guys do that. Just like not all girls do.

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    • Lol you're a joke... Talking down to an 18 year old when you're some 22yr old hack.

    • Also I assume you have trouble getting laid because you're very hot headed, one sided and clearly have a negative view towards males which in turn has guys look at you negativley. I get it you're all for feminism and stuff.

  • idk. why do you _think_ you feel that way. have you thought about it at all. are you really so genuinely divorced from our feeling that you have absolutely no idea how your mind works.

    or do you just not want to say why because you know the people who hold different views will think you're irrational. and you're hoping the people who feel. think the same. will pipe up and give your answer for you. so you can feel affirmed without having to be exposed.

    chances are. if you feel something, and you seriously think about it/ yo will know exactly why you feel the way you do. we don't have feelings separate from ourselves. so figure you out and you will know. if you really don't know already. which I doubt.

    heres an idea. instead of jerking off mentally, pretending to be searching for enlightenment, when all you want is t feel OK about how yo fee/ what you think... why don't you work on not devaluing people for having sex. just like you have sex.

    if its really only a fee;ing you can just work on feeling differnt.but you can't just feel differntly-- because it is not simply feeling.

    you don't 'feel' value. you think it. value s an intellectual thought. not a feeling. as moral judgement requires thinking. you're not talking about an abstract feeling. you're talking about how you feel about something you think you're entitled to judge. but not to be judged by .

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  • As you have stated you get jealous easy and it probably makes you feel insecure. Insecurity can come from a lot of things. You may be insecure about your size, performance, or maybe the thought that she might leave you or sleep around when she's with you. In any case, you are entitled to your own opinions. But not all women who have had sex with multiple partners are "low quality or value".

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  • Btw, Toulouse is obsessed with trying to grilll guys on this topic because she's skaky and it makes her feel attacked that not all giys are okay with a girl who has had a bunch of different penis in them

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    • i think WOMEN have a right to have sex as many guys as they want. your contempt towards women is cowardly and your 'interest' inappropriate seeing as its absolutely none of your business. worry about you own vagina. or does that depress you too much.

      im virgin by the way. and I've only kissed one guy. not everyones views results from defensiveness guilt and self loathing- you turnip.

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    • I think it's gross and stupid for anyone guy or gal who f***s around. Have some class!

    • Too me I think I feel like it might not be as special of a bond with the woman if a ton of other guys have shared the exact same experience with her as I have. I would feel like I'm just another number being added to the pile.

      Now Toulouse maybe it's just that we have higher standards than you who knows. Heavensgift is right and so is the answerer to this question.

What Guys Said 4

  • Personally I feel people should be selective with who they have sex with, I am not saying wait until marriage but it is supposed to be a moment of intimacy. Since I keep myself to a certain standard I would expect a woman to share the same beliefs, however it is unfair to say she is a whore for sleeping with 10 guys last year but you are the man for doing it with the same number of girls. But I see a woman who sleeps with a lot of guys as something that is easy but also not relationship material, why would I want to have kids with a woman who has such a lax view about sex. Its kind of sad because I knew a guy who was dating a whore and while they were going out she had a gangbang with 4 guys and the best part is he never dumped her, which he gets what he deserves.

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  • Because you are scared that if you are going to be together that she is going to do it again. Its understandable being in that situation before and it is not wrong, don't worry about it.

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  • That's because we, guys, want a girl who's pure and innocent all by ourselves.

    It's not just you who feels that way. Most guys do.

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  • Because men are designed to find partners that they can trust to be faithful. People that have sex with anyone that has a pulse are not as faithful. Anyone that has had 100 sexual partners WILL NEVER be abler to be trusted. Doesn't matter if it is a guy or girl. It use to be that the only way a man knew a kid was his, is if he could trust the woman. Cheating on the woman's part, would prevent the man from having his own child. Today 10% of men with children, are still being tricked into raising another mans kid. Se have more to lose from an unfaithful partner, so we are a little more picky when it comes to picking someone for a long term partner.

    It is only natural that you would have the same feelings that helped keep you ancestors, from wasting their time and resources on another man's child. Even if you logically know that isn't an issue, your still attracted to what your DNA tells you to be attracted to.

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