Why are girls so hard on their looks?

I was directed to this wonderful advert/promo link and I just couldn't understand why an individual couldbe so negative about themselves


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's probably because there's such importance placed on looks in our society. It's so closely tied to self-worth and desirability.

    We also tend to deconstruct and break up our bodies even more so than guys I think, because each piece contributes or detracts from beauty on the whole and so we try to maximize the good by paying attention to the little details (most of which are under minimal scrutiny on a guy's face) such as eyelashes, eyebrows, eye shape, lips, skin complexion, skin tone, forehead shape, blemishes, softness, nose shape, cheeks, wrinkles, hair quality, etc. All tiny things we pick apart and the beauty industry milks money from by highlighting and coming up with all these ways to make improvements to them. The advent of photoshop and false images in advertising hasn't made it any easier. We end up holding ourselves to standards that don't even exist.

    If you think about it, makeup is a mask women put on because they're told their natural face isn't quite good enough without powder and ink to make it look better. So, when these women criticize their facial features, it really doesn't surprise me that they can't see the beauty in their own face. They pick it apart too much and cover it up too much to see it. In fact, it's like they've been conditioned not to see it. Other people looking on her will see the face as a whole, but she will focus on every part of her in which she sees flaws and thus miss the big picture of how nice her features look when they all come together.

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    • I totally agree with "maximize the good"

      when you see all those victoria's secret models and other beautiful, but heavily airbrushed women with a lot of strategic make up and hairstyles, it can really damper a girl's spirit when you think about what you look like in comparison. so to make ourselves feel as confident as possible we'll individually analyze things, because that could mean more things to feel good about.

    • Yes, exactly.

What Girls Said 9

  • We live in a society that says it is okay and even necessary to compare ourselves to others.

    Look at advertising for beauty products for women.

    The women they show are airbrushed and made up to perfection and are wearing said product. It advertises a perceived problem that we automatically assume we have so we buy it. We walk around with that in our mind- we have _____ flaw, _____ is too big, ______ is too small because we have been advertised to and told to look for certain problems to we can then fix it. It is this notion that keeps these companies in business.

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  • Women are expected to be all about the looks. we're supposed to be "prizes" for men. the stereotype is that women fall for the personality and men fall for the looks. that's why so many "funny guys" seem to get girls even if they're ugly. so, it's great that you seem to be more enlightened, but there are a lot of guys who will critize a girl's looks and evaluate every detail. and ratings, comparing one girl to the other. the most popular girl in school is usually one of the prettiest. it's just... how it is. so a girl automatically comes to be self-critical in this day and age where every magazine image you see is photoshopped, and the beauty ideal is either an extremely curvaceous body with a tiny waist and huge breasts, or a beanpole figure. many women aren't either or.

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  • In my experience, the media. This country has a HUGE perspective of the way women are "suppose to be", or in this case "suppose to look".

    Symmetry, also is used to determine beauty. My nose isn't very symmetrical and it bothers the crap out of me.

    And what you hear growing up.

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  • Because what we grew up learning/watching/seeing was that the pretty people had everything good happen to them. When we see a really beautiful girl, we feel awkward and sad and feel like we can't compete with that. At some point, we start believing that no matter what we do/actually look like is enough because there's always someone smarter, prettier, better than us out there. It's a little like instinct at this point, always competing with other girls. We stop seeing ourselves as what we really are and start seeing ourselves as less-than everyone else.

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  • because society standards are too high and so are mens'. According to T.V. and magazines you have to be "perfect" and have the same physical qualities as they do even tough most of it is Photoshop. Society also makes fun of people who don't fit the "standards" which is unfair because everyone is beautiful in every way. Media should really start showing all types of people and not use Photoshop so people are more confidant in themselves.

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  • I think it's because we all feel like we're competing with each other for something. When we see a girl that is really pretty we feel like we'll never add up to her and should just give up.

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  • because girls have to be pretty. men like girls who are nice to look at. if you aren't nice to look at then you won't find a guy. girls on the other hand look a lot to personality so its easier for less attractive guys to find love.

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    • Ok, but what about these women in the vid who were clearly underrating themselves

    • im cute so I don't know if I can be of any real help lol but I think its a combination of believin what people say about them even when the statement was made purely to piss them off. because everyone knows when a girl upsets you the first thing you do is call her ugly. and some people sell themselves short to be pilite. imagine if they all would have sat down and oo'd and aw'd about how beautiful they were. most people would be like -_- OK now bitch you ain't that cute lol I have done that for

    • politeness but not often. I have a very Blanche Devereaux-esque personality lol and then of course we have the dramatics. who say theyre ugly so the rest of us can disagree and boost theyre ego lol when this happens I usually pretend like I agree lol

  • A lot of women are vicious monsters, regarding appearances. It's almost all my mother talks about, specifically weight. Thankfully, I didn't inherit that trait. I can't stand it when people are obsessed with looks. It's such a boring thing to obsess over.

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  • Because its in our nature. When we see TV actresses and models in a magazine we compare every detail and curve of ourselves to that picture, and we know we can't live up to that. We then obsess over trying to fix that flaw, and trying to look perfect. Most men (I am not going to say all because I know this does not apply to all) seek the pretty, graceful, skinny girls. If we get less attention we do not believe we are good enough.

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What Guys Said 3

  • I think that women have five major enemies:

    Themselves: They tend to be their own worse critic (I think in most cases we all do.) Some women just find ways to take it to the next level. Commonly known as the "Honey? Does this dress make me look fat?" syndrome.

    Career: If a woman has a high profile career, then she has to not only dress for the position, but she has to always have her make-up in the highest standard in effort to fit in with the image as well as to be considered as a reputable peer by many of her co-workers (particularly male co-workers.)

    Other Women: They see the other woman as competition, not just professionally but socially as well. Don't a woman dare to go to a social function and see another woman with the same outfit as she has or is deemed by the opposite gender as equally or more attractive.

    Social Media: While most women realize this is nonsense, you would be surprised as to how many actually buy into this. A great example is this so called "European standard of beauty" that seems to be like the holy grail regarding how a woman is supposed to look if she is to be considered beautiful and attractive. Most women realize this is unrealistic and don't feed into the rhetoric, but others feel they can obtain it and some will even resort to extreme measures such in effort to achieve it.

    Men: There are so many men who are looking for top tier women and it places unnecessary pressure on women to try and always look their best when they're dating and socializing with men. Granted women just want to look and feel their best, but there are times when they are pressured to show and prove their beauty at its hallmark.

    With so much going on in the average woman's life, it's quite easy to see how the pressures of everyday life can cause a woman undue pressure to maintain a certain appearance. It doesn't stop with her make-up either. It actually transcends to her height to weight body proportion as well as the way she carries herself.

    With so many standards to live up to and o much pressure to achieve them, it's pretty easy to see how some can have self esteem issues and I think that we as men need to try and be supportive of her and try not to add pressure to her by encouraging her to constantly live up to such high standards.

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  • Between the natural competitiveness of females (who I think are more competitive with each other than males are imho),

    combined with the media showing heavily doctored-up images of damn-near-"perfect" looking females,

    it's understandable. Not fair, but understandable.

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  • I saw that link too, it was pretty awesome to see people's reactions in how different other people viewed them compared to what they think of themselves. I'm the same way about myself though xD

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