Are girls as socially brainwashed as we guys?

OK, so I had been trying to hit on this girl for quite some time, I think about her all the time, maybe because when I'm with her, she makes me feel like I have a chance.

But then I see a picture of her in Facebook, not even with another guy, she is just with her family, smiling, and she looks so innocent, but she still looks amazing, her hair is long, she is wearing a goofy hat, she has a leather jacket, she looks so skinny, her smile makes her look happy.

And my brain just tells me, dude, look at her, she is too much, she has the world, how would she ever like you, you have no chance, she is too much for you, look how pretty she is, you have nothing to offer her, you are not rich, you are not a model, you don't even dress as cool as her, how can you land on that, just forget it man.

But is because every day we are bombarded by people's ideas that girls that look like that are above you, that you do not deserve them unless you are Vinnie Chase or someone like that, and we guys believe it.

I used to have a crush over another girl, she also had that I am happy face, and she also dressed cool, I told a friend, you her, I like her, he told me, yeah I like her too, but I think she is too much for me, he told me that, I felt bad he felt that way, and I felt bad I felt the same way.

We are not even trying to marry these chicks, sometimes we just want a little taste, you know, just know what is like to be in heaven, just a memory to remember when we are old. These girls look so happy and if they wanted to land a celebrity just for one night, they can, they know they can, and that gives them reassurance, that makes then know they are enough, and don't have to worry about that anymore. They don't have to be with a celebrity because they know they can. They can just occupy their mind in whatever they want because they feel worth it.

How can one even get these girls, they live in the same houses we do, they work in the same places we do, they make as much money as we do, they are the same age as we are, yet we feel inferior, we feel we can't have them, it is insanity.

We feel that even if we give everything, even if we get the nice job, the nice house, the nice car, even if we go to Africa and save 1000 lives, these girls, they are valued more.

Something must be done to awake us


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's like cars: you probably can't afford the Cadillac in the shiny ads, thus you'll have to be satisfied driving a secondhand compact or SUV.

    The day you have have a problem in choosing whether you spend your cash on a Porsche or a Corvette, they'll line up to be the first with you.

    Is the Cadillac any bettter than an SUV? if you want to shine and be envied yes. If you're in a difficult off road situation, the shiny new Cadillac will let you down, the secondhand SUV will get you through.

    The Porsche or Corvette might be stolen before you get to drive 5000 mi in them.

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    • you kow is funny, I do think of Ferraris and Lambos, and it seens fair to me, but we are talking about new kia's and any Mazda's, most of us take the bus because our only options are 90s cars.

What Girls Said 6

  • If she makes you feel you have a chance, then try to approach her.

    I don't think there's anything from what you've described,

    which tells me that she doesn't accept you.

    Maybe you are the one who is brainwashed by these ideas. :P

    Some pretty girls don't really want someone who is in a higher status than them,

    they just want someone who appreciates & love them for who they are.

    Because most guys give them attention because of their looks, figure.. etc.

    They can get this attention easily from any guy, as you said.

    But there are just very few guys who would be able to look at their souls.

    You might not believe it, but there are some pretty girls who are just like this.

    It's the same when a guy is rich and wants a girl who look at him

    and love him for who he is, not for his money or social status.

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  • You should talk to more of them. You might be surprised that they are just like you. And I guarantee you that they don't think they can get with celebrities lol. Most of the pretty girls I knew back in the day didn't do much with their lives. Lets just say for most people who were always pretty, things came easy for them from day one. People are nicer to you when you're prettier. I know because I used to be bigger and then I lost all the weight and became pretty. Things are easier for me now with people. I have better people skills than I used to. The only thing that is different in the mindset of pretty girls is confidence and positivity. Some of them are mean, but once they grow up most are very nice people. They are just people, with all the flaws of every human every in existence.

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    • yeah, but their flaws are cute, our flaws as guys are creepy

  • alot of people thinks that super pretty girls are hard to woo, so they don't even dare to try. they may be forever surrounded by hot guys but seldom asked out. you will be surprised how easy it is to woo a pretty girl if you would just open your mouth and try. yes pretty girls have a lot of apecial treatments. but when it comes to love they don't really have that much of choice as compared to a normal girl. most importantly pretty girls crave for love more than compliments. so yar no harm trying really.

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    • yeah, I always give it a shot, I'll keep on trying with this girl, but the logistics are always against odds

  • you haven't said anything about those girls that indicate they are amazing. they cAn have crap personalities in which case they won't have long relationships. basically you want a taste. a ons. that's not so hard to do. but you're worshipping people you barely know. you should work on that they are just people. every human being is just a person.

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    • it's hard to do, maybe if I can get it off my mind, then I can have better focus

  • What makes you think you don't have a chance? Approach her.

    Do you have goals? An education? Are you hard working? I think 'worthy' nice girls look wayyy beyond looks or bank account. You just need to be striving towards something.

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  • Honestly from what you've described, nothing in these girls' behavior has indicated they feel you're not good enough for them. It's all coming from your own insecurity, and the messages you're getting from mates and the media. You know what a crock the whole advertising/marketing world is, plus Hollywood, painting pictures of perfection so we can all aspire to be (read:buy) something that doesn't really exist. There are decent, attractive girls out there who know this just as well as many guys do. She's just a nice girl and you're a nice guy - ask her out and forget about all the theoretical stuff going round in your head as it's not helping you in any way.

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What Guys Said 7

  • I would argue that girls are more socially "brainwashed" in that they compete among each other and hold each other to high standards. Consequently, women hold men to higher standards than this as well. As males, we don't hold others to high standards at all. Brands only matter to the extent that they attract women. Unfortunately, the media is to blame. As long as we go online, watch TV and read magazines, life is going to feel like an uphill battle unless you're what is featured in the spotlight.

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  • Ok...I'm not too sure where you're going with this. You make them sound like untouchable goddesses...! You sound like you're sitting in a spaceship dreaming and fantasizing about girls and not taking any damn initiative! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Where's your confidence?!? You wanna always be that guy that sits on the sidelines while some other guy takes your crush away from you?

    "when I'm with her, she makes me feel like I have a chance" So you talked to her? Then I don't see the big deal...The only thing stopping you from getting the girl is your insecurities. Tear that nonsense rhetoric and man up!

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    • I think is my numbers, I ask out every single girl, but they are not too many, I live in small a town and I rarely meet anyone

  • Nothing ventured nothing gained man. Unless she's thinking the exact same things about you, nothings gonna happen by just thinking about her

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  • best advice you'll ever take? be more positive.

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  • Ok ill tell you what forget about what you don't have to offer and remember the things that make you a quality guy and just go for it ask these girls out because sometimes in order to win the big one you have to put it all on the line so forget about what other people think and do what you do best.

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  • yes they are. Even more so than guys are

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  • Girls are a different kind of brainwashed, as they all feel they're entitled and owed having "the best". Women are motivate by things like money, and status and of course - power. Sure women throughout the ages all would have loved to have that, but women back then didn't really care about that in a partner as they just wanted a good guy. Not women today though. They all want to find a jerk that they think they can change into a good guy, but ironically that never happens as guys never change. Women need to get with the program too. Men age excellent and women don't, so don't you think you'd want to attract and keep a nice guy that's going to keep you around even after you pack on a bunch of weight and your t*ts sag to the point of almost dragging in front of you? I'd think so, because the jerk is going to leave you as a result. But of course you still get our house and half of our hard-earned money when you divorce us anyway. Good going ladies.

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