Am I over sensitive?

The other day my boyfriend told me I looked horrible and it really hurts me. I am very sensitive when it comes to my looks so it is still bothering me a week later. He later said that he was referring to my outfit but it still bothers me because I put a lot of effort in the way I look around him. Am I being too sensitive? Is this something that I should have already gotten over?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're sensitive, but that was a jerk move. He could have simply said he liked you better in this or that outfit.

    I said you're sensitive, not over-sensitive, and I mean that. You just said it was bothering you, you didn't do anything mean to him in return.

    He is your boyfriend, he holds a special place in your circle of friends. His opinion weights a lot, and can hurt you much worse than someone else's opinion. It's normal !

    I would try to tell him, without any animosity, that you'd rather he pointed out the outfits he likes rather than point the ones he doesn't. Instead of saying "you look horrible/I don't like this one", he could put it this way : "I like that one better/Why don't you switch the shirt with this one ?".

    This way you know what he likes better, while receiving compliments, and he gets to see you wearing what he finds more attractive. You both win in the end :)

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What Guys Said 13

  • This is an instance where I would really depend on the situation and his tone of voice. That said, I think its normal to get at least a little upset about being told you look horrible. Nobody wants to hear that, especially from their BF/GF.

    If he truly had a problem with something about your looks, or simple felt like he could offer some fashion advice, he should have been more specific and constructive, than just saying you look horrible. Like maybe say he thinks the top doesn't work with your pants, or that he doesn't like your new haircut, etc. Either way, when bringing something like that up, he should do it in a respectful manner, as opposed to an insult.

    Overall though, if this was my buddy, I'd definitely give him a slap upside the head. Even if your SO is having a bad day in the looks department, its best to just keep your mouth shut if you don't have something nice to say. Nobody is perfect. Of course if it became a serious issue in terms of how you are taking care of yourself then eventually I would hope he'd speak with you, but if its something simple, then its best to just let it go.

    This reminds of years ago when a friend of mine, who had just started dating a new guy, invited her Boyfriend to come over since we were all hanging out. As soon as he walked in the room he makes a comment about her hair looking like sh*t. All of us were just like "wtf".

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  • Being hurt and somewhat dwelling when your partner said you look horrible is not over sensitive. I actually believe that's an acceptable and quite normal response. I was shocked, I did a shocked reaction when I read that your boyfriend said you look horrible. That's mean, well it seems mean to me anyway.

    I don't know dang, I'm not in a relationship, and unfortunately I'm currently struggling with seemingly irrepressible feelings for someone that its not right for me to have feelings for, but here's the thing - whenever I see her, I'm thinking to myself "she's so beautiful". I always think she looks beautiful, yknow even a few weeks ago when she was seemingly having an uncharacteristically bad skin day the thought "she looks horrible" never even entered into my mind. Still beautiful. And then this one time a while back when she was dressed in what she very self consciously described as her "dog walking get up", well to be honest I was thinking I wish she'd stop being hard on herself she's gorgeous as always, not that I could actually say that.

    Point is, well, it doesn't seem right to me, your boyfriend saying that. It just seems all wrong. Well I don't know the way I feel about this person for example, I'd never dream about saying that to her. Because I like her so much. And I care about her a lot. Yknow and I'm not even in a relationship with her, she's just a friend.

    Well this is just my perception anyway, and yeah okay it could be that he, like me, is on the autistic spectrum and unlike me however is one of those people on the spectrum who is incredibly honest and upfront at all times and so that's why he said what he did. It could be that he I don't know made a bad choice of words or yknow sort of put it too harshly when he was just trying to communicate to you that he was wanting you to dress in something different, it could be that he was intentionally being mean. I just felt a need to express my perception of this, so there it is.

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  • it really depends on whether his exact words were "you look horrible", or whether that is your interpretation of what he said - if he actually said "that outfit is horrible", then I'd veer towards being overly sensitive, but an outright "you look horrible" comment is harsh given he knows you're sensitive about how you look. if it bothers you though, make sure he knows - even if he thinks its a stupid thing to get upset by, if it upsets you he'll make sure to avoid it in future (just don't ask for his opinion on outfits or your appearance, because he'll feel trapped)

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  • Some guys think that is flirting (howard from big bang theory for example), tease him and see how he reacts.

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  • He had no right to say something so stupid and rude. The guy should always tell his girlfriend she is beautiful - no matter if she dressed badly or not. He has a duty to protect her from others and from himself. You know what I mean? Remember that in the future he will not change. Will behave the same way in marriage. There is a proverb I know: "Habit is second nature." For now, just watch and don't worry about him. Maybe he's still a kid? I wish You all the best. Regards! ;-)

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  • umm I am gonna take his side on this question. may be he just meant that you could look better in a different outfit. I really appreciate comments on things that I can change about my looks or how I behave but only from people that are close to me. although he could have put it in much more nicer manner.

    you can take the advantage and joke about it . ex: "is that right? you don't look that nice yourself. so that doens't turn you on? what does?"

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  • Saying "you look horrible" (if that's really what he said), is incredibly derogatory and a douche baggery thing to say. If he was referring to your outfit...you know...maybe clarify it...

    "That OUTFIT looks horrible" would have been better; however I would never use horrible as an adjective to describe my significant other. (unless it was in a joking manner after a long night of drinking)

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  • I think that's mean and I hope he won't say that again. I think you should just forgive him and let it go but if he says it again then tell him how it makes you feel and hopefully he will apologize and not say something like that again. Maybe he doesn't know and if you tell him them maybe he will see that it's hurtful and not do it again. Good luck!

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  • He should have been more considerate of your feelings. I wouldn't worry unless this was a regular occurrence.

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  • Are you sure he wasn't making a sarcastic joke?

    Yes I believe you are being too sensitive.

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  • Break up with him.

    Maybe he'll find a girl that can take an honest opinion.

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  • Yes, you're quite sensitive. You should try to improve more in your outfit so that you'll fish some compliments from him.

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  • No I think it's normal to feel that way. Nobody wants to be told they look horrible especially from a girlfriend or a boyfriend

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think you're slightly on the sensitive side for still being upset about it. I could understand being upset or mad for like a day or two. But a week seems kinda long to be mad about it.

    I do think he was out of line for saying that. The way I see it. guys shouldn't comment on their girlfriends outfit or how she looks other than to say something positive. Douche move for him to refer to it as "horrible", I'd be miffed about it, but would probably get over it after talking it out.

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  • I think that's rude that he said that it would have hurt my feelings too. Next time stick up for yourself if you like what your wearing or whatever then it doesn't matter what he thinks and he shouldn't say stuff like that to you, it mean

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  • he is silly...tell him to behave himself...:)

    he should be gentleman..there are ways to tell things

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