Who here "don't care what anyone thinks of them"?

I just want to understand those people who naturally seem immune to other people's judgement or giving them funny looks.

what is the thinking behind it and where did they get this...courage?

for example, I went out one Saturday night and by the time I went home it was like 9:30 am in the morning and my face was still red and stink of alcohol so I avoided taking the underground because I thought people would look at me funny and think "what a bum, drunk at 9:30 in the morning" and I took a bus instead Because less people would see me.

and at the time I spoke to a girl and she said "don't be silly no one cares" and I thought " umm..yes they would. they wouldn't care but they would stare and I didn't want that"

but anyway, do you think I was irrational in that situation?

and how do you get to become one of those people who don't care what others think?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was a Navy brat- my dad was a submariner. We moved so much when I was a kid that impressing other kids became way too much effort, so I stopped giving a sh*t at a very young age. Also, and I don't know if you know this, submariners are a VERY weird bunch. back in the day they were allowed to get away with looking totally bizarre because nobody really cared what they looked like unless there was going to be an inspection. I mean, they were underwater most of the time- nobody saw them. So that and the fact that they were basically in a tin can fathoms under the water where if anything went wrong, they were all going to die and nobody could save them- well, they were a Don''t Give a F***bunch all day long, forever. And I promise, if you have that as an influence growing up, it DOES shape you. Or it did me, anyway.

    By the time I was a teenager and at the age where I should *deeply* care what other people thought of me, it was too late. I already didn't give a f*** all day. I guess you could say that giving a f*** was a skill that I never learned- I STILL don't give a f*** all day. I do what I want. It's not always a good thing, I guess... when people know from jump that you don't care what they think, it can be pretty alienating. But, you know... I don't give a f***. It made fitting in nearly impossible when I was younger- but I didn't care. It just... I dunno, it didn't phase me. In my case it has nothing to do with courage, and everything to do with that sh*t truly not registering with me. Like, you can't miss something you never had, right? So there you go.

    I'm not a d*** to people all the time, but if I find myself at cross-purposes with someone, I keep on rolling because I figure I'm not going to win their approval anyway- so they can get run over or they can get out of my way. It's all the same to me. People are going to think what they want regardless- I may as well please myself. And yes- I have friends. Not a whole bunch of them, but the ones I have are tried and true. Their opinions matter because I decide they matter- I mean, I get to choose. People I don't know don't matter, and why should they? Why can't I do what I want as long as I don't purposely hurt people? As long as I'm true to myself, uphold my standards, and am able to look at myself in the mirror before I go to bed at night and say "you weren't terrible today" I count that as a win.

    Anyway, that's what happened to me. Maybe I wasn't born not giving a f*** all day, but I sure as hell was raised that way.

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    • thx for the long answer and your interesting background.

      but I think there is a natural tendency where women care less about what others think of them than men.

      And I think that's because, first of all, women are much less likely to get punched even if they blatantly insult or offend others, whereas men have higher awareness of the risk of getting into a fight if they offend someone so they tend to avoid offensive behavior if possible.

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    • okay- I do have friends whose opinions matter to me- but I can't say that they are the ones who gave me my strong belief in my identity. I already had had that. My friends are my friends because they accept me for who I am- I didn't have to be anything other than what I was to make them like me- and I don't have to conform to their ideas about anything in order for them to still be my friends. There are instances where I will ask them if they think I'm being a d*** about something...

    • and if they say yes then I will probably re-evaluate my position. Sometimes I'll end up agreeing with them- other times I won't. But they don't judge me. And the supermarket thing? It entirely depends on my mood and what else I have going on at the time. If I feel bothered, I would probably speak up- like "can you call for back up? open another lane, maybe?" Because hollering at people isn't going to make the situation any better. But if I'm not in a hurry, I don't worry about it.

What Girls Said 6

  • I'm not immune to others' judgment per se, but I do seem to care much, much less about what other people think compared to my friends and family (especially my mom who is very, very, very self-conscious).

    It's reasonable to worry about people staring at you because, let's face it, it can get really uncomfortable when they do. If I were you, though, I wouldn't have minded what mode of transportation I used or whether people would see me or not.

    My rationale behind this is: you don't know them, they don't know you, you're not gonna talk to them and maybe never see them again, so making a less than good impression won't matter.

    What matters is your relationship to the people who are in your life, the people you care about. As long as you treat them with love and respect, it shouldn't matter what anyone thinks of you. Everyone has bad days, and if the people you're close to can't handle one bad day in your life then maybe they're not worth worrying about.

    My parents never liked who I am. They think I have a weird fashion sense, and they dislike the content of the short stories I write. We differ a LOT in opinions on right and wrong, and they always try to change me even though I'm 21 already. It's gotten so bad that all I want to do now is get a job, save up, and move out of their house to get away from them. But I still love them and treat them with respect (more or less). Generally being a good person is what matters. If you're a good person then you shouldn't worry about people judging you.

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  • Um you don;t care what anyone thinks? I really have no idea what to tell you. I realized that I honestly didn't care what others thought about me. If I went out looking like sh*t it's because I was tired or sick and didn't care. Everyone has a story and it doesn't matter. Live with your memories and not care about people you will never see again.

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  • None of us want to be the underdog. None of us want to be hated.

    In high school I cared what people thought of me- I had an irrational thought in my head that being popular/having everyone in the school view you in a positive way was the best thing. Even if it meant trying to be nice to everyone, even with the people I really disliked. I'm not that way anymore. But in the real world, not everyone is going to like you and/or the choices you make. & maybe you don't want to get along with certain people in the world/ negative and/or critical folks anyway. Plus not all of the choices you make now will neccesarily define who you are in the future. Or how people will view you. You should be aware of your actions and the consequences, but you really have to be happy with yourself in order to not really care what other people think of you.

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  • this is my mindset we are all humans but all different !

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  • I am but not in an angry way

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  • To be honest I don't care what people think about me, for the most part. I'm sure there are people who have been in the same situation so it is not like you are the only one. If all you do is care what people think about you then you are going to become what they want you to be not what and who you want to be. So just be yourself and do what you want. If others just spend their life judging you, well they are wasting their time instead of doing something fun with it. So don't worry. A lot of people do care what others think. It all just depends on your personality. Just do something with your friends that might be weird to others and go from there. It's your life, spend your time doing what you want. Well as long as it's legal haha.

    Hope this helped :)

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What Guys Said 4

  • You get to become one of those people who really don't care what others think... perhaps... by growing up a little.

    Its generally a sign of maturity not to be overly concerned about what others think- in particular, strangers. I mean, really... who CARES what they think?

    Naturally- as one person has already phrased it- there are certain people who might just happen to be special and their opinions affect you more. But all those others? F*ck 'em!

    You might just say that hanging out all night drinking is a behavior which tends to belong to the youngest amongst us... so if you do THAT sort of thing (by extrapolation) it's perhaps not terribly surprising that you also give a damn what people think as well.

    A little older... a little wiser... a little less thin skinned.

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  • For me it's not that I don't care what anyone thinks about me it's that I don't care what anyone thinks about me that I don't care about or value their opinion. For instance I care what my mom thinks about me but people in public screw um.

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  • You were a little irrational because what means of transportation you take in public won't matter. As for becoming one of those people: You don't really want to. It isn't a good thing.

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  • I would be the one.

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