I just want to understand those people who naturally seem immune to other people's judgement or giving them funny looks.
what is the thinking behind it and where did they get this...courage?
for example, I went out one Saturday night and by the time I went home it was like 9:30 am in the morning and my face was still red and stink of alcohol so I avoided taking the underground because I thought people would look at me funny and think "what a bum, drunk at 9:30 in the morning" and I took a bus instead Because less people would see me.
and at the time I spoke to a girl and she said "don't be silly no one cares" and I thought " umm..yes they would. they wouldn't care but they would stare and I didn't want that"
but anyway, do you think I was irrational in that situation?
and how do you get to become one of those people who don't care what others think?
Most Helpful Girl
I was a Navy brat- my dad was a submariner. We moved so much when I was a kid that impressing other kids became way too much effort, so I stopped giving a sh*t at a very young age. Also, and I don't know if you know this, submariners are a VERY weird bunch. back in the day they were allowed to get away with looking totally bizarre because nobody really cared what they looked like unless there was going to be an inspection. I mean, they were underwater most of the time- nobody saw them. So that and the fact that they were basically in a tin can fathoms under the water where if anything went wrong, they were all going to die and nobody could save them- well, they were a Don''t Give a F***bunch all day long, forever. And I promise, if you have that as an influence growing up, it DOES shape you. Or it did me, anyway.
By the time I was a teenager and at the age where I should *deeply* care what other people thought of me, it was too late. I already didn't give a f*** all day. I guess you could say that giving a f*** was a skill that I never learned- I STILL don't give a f*** all day. I do what I want. It's not always a good thing, I guess... when people know from jump that you don't care what they think, it can be pretty alienating. But, you know... I don't give a f***. It made fitting in nearly impossible when I was younger- but I didn't care. It just... I dunno, it didn't phase me. In my case it has nothing to do with courage, and everything to do with that sh*t truly not registering with me. Like, you can't miss something you never had, right? So there you go.
I'm not a d*** to people all the time, but if I find myself at cross-purposes with someone, I keep on rolling because I figure I'm not going to win their approval anyway- so they can get run over or they can get out of my way. It's all the same to me. People are going to think what they want regardless- I may as well please myself. And yes- I have friends. Not a whole bunch of them, but the ones I have are tried and true. Their opinions matter because I decide they matter- I mean, I get to choose. People I don't know don't matter, and why should they? Why can't I do what I want as long as I don't purposely hurt people? As long as I'm true to myself, uphold my standards, and am able to look at myself in the mirror before I go to bed at night and say "you weren't terrible today" I count that as a win.
Anyway, that's what happened to me. Maybe I wasn't born not giving a f*** all day, but I sure as hell was raised that way.0
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