First of all, I want to say that I'm majority African-American, and both of my parents as well. But for some reason, I've always had this issue of being too white or too black and it's made my social life suffer completely. When I was in middle school in Texas, I was one of 2 blacks in my class and the rest were Hispanic or white. The Hispanics hung out with the blacks and whites hung out amongst themselves. But I was always considered too white to hang out with the blacks. At the time I listened to rock music and did some skating too (this was before it became popular in rap culture), and I didn't contain an ebonics or southern style accent. So I tried hanging with the whites, and all they did was call me a poser and constantly made me 'prove myself', which they still didn't buy after I showed them my skateboard and did a couple of tricks.
And this continued on to Junior high where I was basically barred from sitting with the blacks, which by that time made up a majority of my school. They constantly made fun of my accent, saying that I talked white. I eventually tried caving in and convinced my mum and dad to get me some basketball shoes, and that shut them up for a month before they patronised me again. I eventually found a group of students from other countries, mainly Europe, but a guy from Iran as well, and we became very good friends. Even when I had to change schools within the district I found some more international type students who I became very tight with. But then I moved to the Northwest. I thought that it was going to be a change, but I apparently moved to the wrong part of town. I eventually lived in a conservative town near Tacoma. It was majority white as expected, but some blacks who were amongst their own and Hispanics amongst their own. But I did notice something odd, a lot of whites were acting part of the black stereotype, with baggy jeans and listening to gangster rap. I was known as the 'whitest black guy'. Of course, here, there was no significant international clique, so I hung out with a few exchange students from Russia and Eastern Europe now and then that I still talk to over Facebook.
I'm attending university at the moment, but nothing seems to have changed, except that there are even fewer blacks, and now I'm completely isolated now. It's so weird because all I get are stares, and when I do eventually get approached by someone, they will eventually note how very surprised they are at my academic major and record, and my hobbies. I swear everyone here expects me to be part of some stereotype. I'm in a single room but I have neighbours in a suite style room, and I over hear them saying, he's too quiet, he's always studying, is he gay or something. Well no sh*te, I tried talking to you, but you made it seem like you had other plans every time I asked you about your day. -.-
Most Helpful Girl
So, I'm actually a black rock-a-billy/metal head girl. I've been told my whole life by both sides that I speak too white yadda yadda. Fortunately, in middle school I found about 3 other goth/skater/rocker black kids who became my best friends. Then I went to an all girls school. All the black girls sat together but they would talk to me and be cool. The white people (goths/theater kids/ etc) that I huge out acccepted me but, like you mentioned, you always had to prove yourself.
The Afropunk community really helped me out during my awkward time. I'm in university now and I've met other black people like me. I hope you find a group like I have here soon. It's nice affirming your weirdness with people who are like you. I have piercings, tattoos, play the guitar, play videogames, I like pentagrams and spikes and wear black lipstick. I don't give a care what anyone thinks of me. I know I'm not a poser. I know I'm not trying to be white or abide by such standards.
I'm just myself. It will get better ^_^.1