If confidence's the key to good-looks, how comes non-confident people are still found to be good-looking?

Firstly, I would like to say I do not mean that they "seem" shy or mysterious and so they are good-looking in that sense.

I'm talking about full-on people who whine, complain, and are upfront about how insecure they are to others about their looks saying how ugly they are and yet, people still label them as very good-looking despite this.

I thought people say that being good-looking was mainly about confidence in your looks and how you carry yourself and clearly these people show to have none.

I think that if people honestly and full-heartily think this way, you can argue that confidence in a sense of being good-looking, can almost be seen as void since no confidence doesn't stop them from being perceived as being good looking.

Probably, one may argue now that confidence shown in a person can enhance their looks but really, it just goes to show that people can be as insecure as the volume of the deep blue sea about their looks (and tell you about it so you know they aren't confident) and still be perceived as an outstandingly good-looking person.

You can also link this to sexual attraction as well, people do the same thing with this as well.

I never agreed the idea that confidence is the key to being attractive or good-looking but this just proves my point that the trait of confidence isn't full proof. So what's going on?


Most Helpful Girl

  • It doesn't make someone good looking, it makes them more appealing. There's a difference.

    • I hear all this stuff about confidence makes people sexually attractive. But it seems to me that I am more sexually attractive to the insecure and friendly ones. :S

What Girls Said 4

  • yeah I get that but you forgotten that physical beauty is still a factor. you can have zero confidence and be hot as hell, so yeah you still have good looks. confidence is an add-on, like icing on a cake.

    you can be a grand 4 tiered cake with no frosting and still be considered a great cake BUT if you are a puny single square cake YET have colorful delicious icing it candles out how puny the cake is. weird metaphor I know, its what first popped into my head lol

    confidence is hot but being hot is also hot

    • Does that mean you can just be ugly and never be viewed as hot ever and I was purely just talking about that idea which is why I said I don't believe in confidence enhancing good looks but just being good looking anyway.

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    • thats not at all what a conversation is. but yea I'm done.

    • Obviously, a conversation can be more than that but the way this conversation is working, your intentions and objectives aren't really working. As I said before, I'm sorry if you feel this way. I feel very bad about it. :(

  • Because it's a lie. Confidence does not automatically make someone good looking. Being good looking makes someone good looking. Confidence can make anyone, guy or girl even more appealing but when it comes down to it good looks is about physical attractiveness.

  • because there is a science to good looks, right proportions, balanced, even, features, etc. This is part of genetics, and can also represent how your health is. Confidence is not everything but it defiantly helps.

    • I have to commend science for scientifying good-looks however, a lot of people who fit science's definition of ultimate beauty aren't really that good-looking to me. Some people I find to be very good-looking aren't really consensus nor do they really fit science's idea of beauty.

      Just goes to show that no one really can objectify looks. One can only just override their idea of beauty over another's. That's what everyone does until we hit and form consensus.

  • It doesn't make someone automatically attractive I met tons of people who have no confidence at all.It is a plus if one has confidence it is very attractive in it self.

    • That what I was thinking, looks of pick-up experts say that's it's all about confidence. Clearly it is not all about confidence if it doesn't automatically make someone attractive or good-looking.

    • Yep it is a myth.

What Guys Said 2

  • Very attractive people can get away with not being as confident. Less attractive people need more charisma, and confidence if they want to even the odds against their better looking competition. In most cases...humor trumps all other non physcial traits. Science studies have continued to suggest women are wired to always fall for the funny guy.

    • I love when science suggest all these things about men and women are hard-wired to this and etc... To be honest, I just see confidence and physical beauty as separate things. Like someone can their idea of beauty and yet a really confident person may not fit this idea. :O

  • They can have self-esteem issues unrelated to their appearance. If they are saying their looks are the reason they're insecure, it's a way for people to reassure them that they are attractive. They don't want to share their real reasons for lacking confidence, so why not say something that will garner a compliment instead?

    Insecure people might have been hurt in the past and they carry that baggage into adulthood, even after they've blossomed from an ugly duckling to the swan. They might fear getting hurt again so they take the route that guarantees no pain---by simply not approaching people and shutting themselves out from everyone else.

    • But I'm talking purely about those who have self-esteem issues about their looks specifically and still are seen as uber good-looking :D

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    • Yep, re-read your answer and I'm still going what I commented before. Your answer isn't really answer my question...

    • Oh right... Sorry, you are... I got a bit confused. I re-read like 5 times and I get what you're saying. I think like confidence is really for those who are actually good-looking and don't to get any luck. And as for the "ugly" ones- well- let's just say that "confidence for an ugly person is as useful as using a lighter under water"- GAG Member (paraphrased)