I am only looking for sincere, truly insightful, intuitive answers an POV please..
I am finding myself wondering if I was just meant for some type of alien-like individual or alone for that matter.
I am aware that appearances are the tip of the iceberg jutting out.. But I can't seem to help but instigate the fact that I am constantly being held at arms-length- because of my appearance.
I seem to have very, highly sharp, exotic, features .. and my interests are range from the complex, dark, and other-worldy to the very emblems of creative culture.
I am a model in Ny, writer, painter, music - head and ... it just seems like I have no one who can truly approach me with the utmost sincerity.
I walk this planet completely encaged in my own head, because the atmosphere around tends to encase me in this sort of stigma, this glass-box that I never asked for.
Although I am well-aware that this field of work/creativity I'm in comes with a price- I cannot help but feel ostracized and physically categorized into a genre of a "type" of woman - most males would place me in. Ie: "a fun time" " a fling" "a hot girl" .
But, .. little do they know the world and universes within me that I can offer them. I KNOW .. that I wouldn't be a "normal" girlfriend. I never truly agreed with the way most American, modern-day relationships held themselves up to be. To be truthful they're quite debilitating and almost parasitic.
But no male- has ever given me nor approached me in a way where they can see me as a potential girlfriend. It's always been a "fascination" or kept in awe or arms length. So strange.
I Know. I don't fit into the "category" of a normal girl or girl-next-door persona. Being in the Creative field, an artist, writer, etc.. I just see the world differently from childhood before I started modeling.
I am bisexual, so I Tend to "sympathize/understand/ communicate" well with most men and see the way they see life.
Also, I am not- at- all unfamiliar with sexuality- and truly view it as a work of art. Non-judemental. very rarely offended.Very rarely awkward or embarrassed in situations. Social norms of society just don't apply in the same way to me.
So ... I wonder, why is that I am alone? I see countless times.. more than usual.. abusive girls who demand a lot of materialistic things, drunken and unaware of their attitude towards people.. easily get a guy to settle down with them, although I can clearly see the man is miserable or 1/2 empty.. While I just sit here and immediately am looked upon by them as that "temptation" or the girl they can "fantasize" about.
I just don't get it. Can someone Explain this to me
... Preferably intelligent, sincere, or insightful answers from men and women please. I wouldn't judge you if this were you.
** Case in point: the Anonymous male answer who feels the need to overextend, embellish, and ostentatiously try to dumb down my natural personality to figure it out in a way of boxing someone up to easily categorize. Ignorant.
Most Helpful Guy
to me you come across as distant, aloof, and perhaps a bit grandiose in your opinions. I think in a modeling industry (one founded on the superficial) it is no wonder that so many people you associate with may not be able to see the true you deep down. They probably have no inclination to do so. I'd imagine outside the world you typically frequent there are guys who would want nothing more than to have a deep loving relationship with a beautiful, artistic, and intelligent woman like yourself but I'd imagine you'd have to venture into different social circles.
It's kind of like a person who goes to clubs to try to find a person to settle down with, and when they meet someone there they are disappointed that the person always wanted to go out clubbing. If you eat an onion it is going to taste like onion. If you associate and live in a world that focuses so much on the superficial you're more often going to find people who are supeficial and are unable or don't care to see more. Now there is I'm sure people (including yourself) who want more but I'm sure hard to find and probably feel similar to you (discouraged).
Honestly maybe look at the people around, or the social circles you tend to frequent. Do those groups lend themselves to being in the company of the type of person you'd want to be with?