Am I looking for too specific a girl?

I'm a devout Christian, logical thinker, and a total nerd. I look for these attributes in a girl; I feel like to compromise on them would be to go against who I am.

Certainly, I don't want a girl with the exact same interests as me... but I do want a girl who shares my values, understands my thought processes, and enjoys some of the same nerdy things I enjoy. I've yet to meet a girl like that. I can find a Christian girl. I can find a nerdy girl. However, I've yet to find a girl who is both of these things.

Am I looking for too specific a girl? Should I compromise and settle for a girl who shares my values but nothing else? Or is such a girl out there, a girl for whom I should wait?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • We are very alike from what you write here :D I'd say, also from a wordly view, the Christian part is most important. If you don't share those basic ideas, you won't get along with each other.

    The nerd part is also very important to me. Copper and Helium sit in a bar. Gold comes in, "A U" they shout at him. My wife wouldn't have understood this one but by now she got used to it :D

    Helium comes into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve inert gases." Helium shows no reaction.

    Don't expect a woman ever to understand your logic. Men and women just don't have the same way of understanding logics, therefore better strike out this part.

    Search for a Christian girl at first. As long as she can live with your nerd site and accepts your logic (given you also accept her), that's already very good.

    And now go for it. I'm one of those Christians who believe, that God gives us a choice on who we marry.

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    • Thanks for your answer. I almost laughed out loud in class when I looked at it. I agree; my primary concern is that she is a Christian. And I don't so much mind if her logic is different, but I do want to be able to have intelligent conversations with her such that she can at least follow my logic.

      I asked the question because I met a girl who's a devout Christian, but could care less about anything nerdy haha.

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    • Not only it's not a dangerous way of reasoning, it is the right way of reasoning. It's how you reason in math and science, and it's how computers "reason". I don't know who told you that it was abandoned, but either he lied to you or you don't quite understand logical reasoning. About the meaning of the words, that's just semantics. Those could mean anything and the validity of the argument (the invalidity, in this case) would be the same. L(X) -> W(X) & W(R) => L(R). First order logic.

    • I agree with Otrolite. I was saying that logic yields valid arguments, and reason yields sound arguments. That's how they work together, according to my understanding. A valid argument doesn't affirm the consequent (like in his example); that's an elementary logical principle. However, it's up to reason to back up a valid argument and prove it to be sound.

      That's where a debate can come to a stalemate: both sides of an issue have valid arguments but can't prove whether they are sound.

What Girls Said 11

  • There are tons of Christian girls, and tons of nerdy girls so it's bound for many girls to share both. It can depend on where you live as well, though. I'm a Catholic nerdy girl and there are many others around, but I assume it can be different depending on your culture/environment. It's still possible almost anywhere, nonetheless (even though it might take longer or not depending on many factors).

    The thing here though... even if you're looking for a determined type of girl, it's probably a good idea not to be dead set on dating one like that. I'm not saying that because it'd be difficult, but because you might be overlooking a great girl that could be an excellent date in her own way. It's okay to have a preference, but always keep your eyes open! (:

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  • I'm sorry, but I have to say this. How can you be a logical thinker and a devout christian at the same time? That's an oxymoron XD

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    • Same way you can claim to be logical and a woman at the same time.

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    • But you just don't apply it to any other aspect of your life?

    • I'm more prone to think that your teacher's logic was deeply flawed. Wining a debate or thinking about things is not the same as being a logical thinker, I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure I would spot fallacies in your arguments in a second. Not just wrong data, that's easy, but wrong arguments.

  • I would say values is really important for the both of you to have.I'm a christian and I believe in God and I have to have a guy with the same feelings as me on that.He has to love God and be a christian or we can't work. I would say God has someone for everyone and I think you should let him do his job and let him bring who he thinks would be the perfect one for you.

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  • Well I'm sure you will find the right girl, just don't try too hard and let the girl come to you. Maybe it's in Gods hands and he will set you up we the right girl soon. I'm a Christian too and want to find the right one who shares my values too.

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  • I'm a nerdy Christian, and I know quite a few people, guys and girls, who are. The thing is that everyone is a specific way about everything, but some things are more common than others. Being a Christian is still fairly common and being nerdy is becoming more common, so it's probable that you'll find one.

    At any rate, it's much better to hold out for someone who fits into those categories than to settle for people who do not fit both. I've made that mistake too many times.

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  • I would start with a girl that has the same values, those girls are hard to find. Maybe over time she can gradually grow interest to things you enjoy or you can teach her about the things you enjoy. In return you enjoy something she likes. Just know God knows your Heart and things have a humbling way of working out.

    God Bless

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  • Not really

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  • Lol :) Half of my friends are and so am I. Some of my friends more devout than me, most of us are nerds...and the majority logical thinkers... :p not all

    No I don't think you are. I also think it depends on where you live...Idk

    Just don't limit your options. If you meet a girl and you like her and she doesn't share one of those qualities you mentioned give her a chance. Sometimes what you say you are looking for or want is not what is best or how it works out.

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  • I think maybe you're looking for someone a bit too specific. While it's important to be with someone who shares the majority of your values, understands you, and has much in common, I think that by thinking just of this girl alone, you might not look around to other girls where this is not very apparent, or who are so great and you get along with so well, you would be willing to compromise some of these "requirements". But it's also about finding the right person, my boyfriend and I have similar morals (think drugs, sex, right/wrong, etc) but we still disagree on some of each others morals/values, to me my grades are extremely important, whereas he's not as concerned, but he knows it's important to me so he helps me study and encourages me. Likewise, he's a Christian and I am not. But I have high respect for him and his religion and I encourage his beliefs and talk about them with him, even though I may not share them. We view the world in the same off-beat way, and I think that's very important because I'm very playful and I need someone who is as well and someone who I can have weird/fun conversations with. Lastly, we're both nerdy but in different ways. I'm straight up goody-two-shoes, A+ student, and I like you know Star Wars, Star Trek, adventure time, comic books, etc. and we share some of these nerdy traits, but not all, and still get along fabulously. So I wanted to show you it's possible to be very different, but the same. I hope you find the one for you!:)

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  • It's a bit much to find the same qualities in one girls. Don't be too picky and you will realize you actually do have options. You may find a christian girl who may not be too nerdy. So it's up to you in figuring out which is more important to you. Just try to get to know the girl for her before you evaluate her based on you set criteria. Things don't always work out that way.

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  • Values are important. I guess you just have to decide what is the most important to you? Sometimes in love, sacrifices have to be made. Compromise. Isn't that what relationships are all about? But by all means, don't lower your standards just so you can have a girlfriend. Stick to what you want and in time, something (or someone for that matter) will eventually come your way :)

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What Guys Said 9

  • Its an unusual combination, especially in a woman. In my mind you could find a dozen and easily be incompatible with them.

    I suspect you need a girl who is a christian, and who enjoys -some- activities that you do. Its healthy to have some things you enjoy separately too.

    As for logical thinker ... well... that's a sliding scale. I don't think you need a girl who is a 10 out of 10. The mere way you phrase the question makes me suggest (maybe I'm just projecting myself of course :p ) that you're much more in touch with thoughts then feelings. You might want to consider that it would be healthy to find someone who balances and complements you, rather than is an exact match.

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  • I've witnessed many Christian guys stay single for decades @ a time because they felt that they hadn't bumped into the right fit (more like the right fit didn't just drop into their lap like manna from heaven).They weren't happy about it, but they didn't do a whole lot to appear attractive. When you're a single Christian, I think that it's important to stay healthy mentally, emotionally, physically. That way you are a strong person & you are simultaneoulsy attractive. A nerdy Christian girl who likes what you like is going to be a tall order. I'd let God paint one in. Never stop talking to women & never stop improving yourself. God may or may not blend a perfect fit into your life, but if he does, you want to be ready-

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  • If I were you, I'd stop being so freakin picky. I'm assuming you immediatly write off a girl if she isn't nerdy and Christian (unless you're just using that as an excuse for your failure with women), but if you actually talk to more girls, you'll find someone you really click with, and 99% of the time she will be willing to let you bring her into your world...maybe not so much the Christian part, but I've definitely introduced a ton of people (friends and girlfriends) into my interests, many of which are nerdy, and they really end up liking it.

    Definitely be proactive about it though. Don't "leave it in god's hands"...I doubt your love life would be very high on his to do list.

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  • I think it's okay for you to prefer a girl who is nerdy, but I wouldn't recommend writing a girl off just because she's not. It's important that a guy and a girl have similar values, but these other differences allow for more room to learn about each other and ultimately more room to love. I think it makes the relationship a little more dynamic in some ways if they don't share exactly the same interests.

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  • How are being logical and a nerd qualities that cannot be compromised? Wouldn't it be good if at least one of you had some emotional intelligence as well? I'm sure there are girls like you but I question whether this is an ideal match.

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  • there are, what? 2 billion christians in the world? I'd say only 500m - 1billion of them are actually as serious as you are about your religion.

    chances are, there's a girl like that out there. you just have to find her, I guess. don't wait. that's the stupidest thing ever.

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  • Devout christian AND logical thinker? Don't think so. That's why you're having trouble finding someone like you say you are.

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    • I'm one of the most logical thinkers I know. I can defend my arguments and have won several debates. I once defended my position on evolution so well that the teacher, who disagreed with me, gave me a 100 on the paper for my flawless logic.

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    • Logic is the only way to defend the validity of an argument.

    • Logic is useful to build valid arguments. Data will support or reject them, but of course the argument must be valid before anything. Interpreting the bible literally or trying to use it as a source of data for arguments is basing your reasoning in a lot of fallacies, so no logic reasoning. That's why I find it hard to believe a devout christian can be a logic nor critical thinker. Unless by devout you mean something different. I interpreted it the usual way but, obviously, I might be wrong.

  • A Christian nerdy girl? That honestly shouldn't be that hard to find.

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  • I'm exactly like you. I'm a Christian and a nerd, but I've yet to find a girl that is both. Christian is absolutely essential, I couldn't be with a girl who doesn't share my faith. However, I also find nerdy essential, my friend, who is also nerdy, married a non-nerdy girl, and it ended up destroying their marriage because she thought he spent too much time doing things like playing video games and not enough time with her. I'd like to find a girl who can enjoy playing video games and watching anime, sci-fi, and fantasy with me, common interests are essential, or else there's no way I can devote enough time to both a girl and my interests. I just hope that somewhere out there God has a nerdy Christian waiting for me.

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