How would you feel if your partner looked at someone else and called them sexy?

My ex thought it was silly of me to never admit to him that I found other men attractive. I want the person that I am with to feel wanted and desired. I would not compare him to another man.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Different people think differently. I'M more like you... out of respect for my partner I don't talk about other girls that way in front of her.

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What Guys Said 14

  • No, you don't go around comparing your partner to others, ever. but I's very artificial not to admit you don't notice that someone nearby is very attractive. I mean, you notice super hot women nearby, don't you? How can you ask him to overlook them?

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    • I am speaking of an ex. One of the reasons I felt uncomfortable with this topic is that he almost left me for his ex in the beginning of the relationship. Basically, keeping me on the line until he decided what he wanted to do. She was beautiful and younger. He would also tell me that "You would be really hot if you worked out." My self esteem was not very high. Our relationship was not healthy. I am now single and happy :) I've gained a different perspective on the subject since posting.

    • No,it wasn'thealthy at ALL! Sorry you had to go through that. No one should ever be comparing you in such a superficial and stupid way.

      I'm very glad he's an EX!

  • If what you say is correct, you are wrong.

    You are comparing him to another man but he is stating a fact, another woman looks good or sexy. What does another woman looking good have to do with you?

    If you feel he is comparing you to another and he is not then that means you will hear what you want to hear. You possibly live in a world where you are the center of attention.

    You are putting too much self into a simple statement. There will always be women more beautiful than you, get over it. Think, what does another woman being pretty have to do with you?

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  • I'd tell her - wait until we get back home & I'll show you sexy ...

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  • well then don't compare him to them.

    you can admit another person is attractive, but don't compare them to your man.

    for example, if you are walking down the street, and you see a guy with a stubble, short, spiked hair and a suit, then grab your boyfriend's arm, point the other guy out and say "Oh baby, see him? that would be a great look for you! the suit, the stubble, MMM!"

    don't say "He's sexier than you" say "that guy's look would look so great on you!"

    Trust me, us guys can take appearance advice without getting defensive and saying things like "you think I'm ugly!?" like you girls do.

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  • I would say comparing is a bad idea. No "his abs are so much more defined than yours". But if you see a guy you think is hot and say so, mot guys won't care. Just make sure to also compliment your man. If you go around saying that every guy is hot but never say it to your BF, or if you compare him directly to another it may cause insecurity. Otherwise we really don't care, that is why many men point out hot women, to us it is no big deal to point out how attractive someone is. We don't mean anything by it because we know it would never bother us.

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  • We're only human, it's in our nature to be attracted to other people. As long as she doesn't put me down and still lets me know that I'm the one she's most attracted to then I don't really give a crap. However I'm the kind of guy who would probably joke and be like "yeah and he has a pretty nice ass too." just to mess with her HAHA. I'm not a very serious person, and I don't really care what others think of me.

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  • Well a person can't help but to look (even thought the bible says if you look at another person for lust other than the person you're married to, that's a sin) but were all sinners anyway we can asked for forgiveness...

    Anyway, as long as you don't go no futher with other than just looking, like keep your fantasies to yourself and not tell even your friends about you think another person is cute then things should be fine. Saying another person is sexy right in front of the person you're dating is very disrepectful, cause it's like you said you want your boyfriend to feel wanted. It's also his job to make her feel wanted by not looking at other women when she's around and he shouldn't cheat ever or even just tell another girl he thinks she's sexy when he knows he has a girlfriend.

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  • It wouldn't bother me.

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  • Yeah, that's not cool at all.

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  • seeing as I'd tell my significant other that I dislike being compared to other men, I'd do something that irritates her. I'm somewhat vindictive. it's a flaw...

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  • may be I m just like u. may be I m a bit jealous type. yes it can upset me and give sleepless night for nothing. I think I m the only guy to feel like that and I don't like it but I can't help it. it's my nature that cannot be changed.

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  • Wots wrong with that. As long as t didn't lead to anything dishonest there no reason not to find other people sexy and admit to it.

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    • I viewed it as disrespectful. Even though it didn't bother him. It would have bothered me if he would have commented about another girl in front of me. I will admit that I was the jealous type due to my own insecurities.

    • Yeah I agree it's better to be open about it. I remember a girl I went out with say look Simon he's good looking but then she said that I was a lot more muscular and she preferred that so I guess it was more of a chat rather than her being disrespectful.

  • I wouldn't find it funny what so ever

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  • She said she felt another girl was sexy and attractive.

    How did I feel? Very turned on.

    She said she thought some (male) movie star was attractive, and that didn't bother me, although it was kind of flattering that he had some characteristics I share, so obviously those features are just her type.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I don't care if a guy I'm with LOOKS, because of course we all look. But I feel like it's disrespectful of my feelings to be super obvious about it, do double and triple-takes [lol], or follow them with his eyes right in front of me. Because I DO notice these things. It's even more disrespectful of my feelings to comment on girls he's looking at, to me. I don't care if he looks, I just don't want to see it, and I especially don't want to hear about it. Basically, it's all about the manner in which he does these things.

    Out of respect for my partner, I don't do those things either. If I look, I'm discreet about it and no one even knows I'm looking. And I definitely don't make comments about the other person being attractive, or what attributes I like on them, because I don't want to make my partner feel bad or LESS attractive.

    To answer your question, it makes me feel bad when my partner checks out other girls in front of me [in an obvious way, enough to make me notice it], and makes me feel worse when he has the balls to say something about how hot she is [or what body parts are nice] directly TO me. Especially if that partner isn't complimenting ME enough in general or making me feel attractive in other ways. If my guy is making me feel attractive and I have no doubts in my mind as to how much he wants ME, then it wouldn't bother me quite as much. But I've dealt with exactly the situation I described, way too many times, and it bothers the f.uck out of me. It's a good way to piss me off and make me not want to be around my guy for a little bit, lol, not gonna lie. I've been disrespected a lot, and I'm not going to sit back and act like I'm okay with it when I'm not.

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  • My boyfriend has done that but it was only with his "celebrity crushes".

    He'd say something along the lines of "So and so is so sexy!" or "I have the biggest crush on her."

    I'll admit that it bothered me a bit at first because I could never compare to any of his celebrity crushes. But I got over it. It doesn't bother me now because there are people that I think are attractive as well but I would never act on it and I know my boyfriend wouldn't either.

    Though I still wouldn't feel comfortable openly admitting to him who I thought was attractive in fear of him reacting the way I first did when he first opened up to me about that kind of thing.

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  • i'd be sad and mad. that's just...disrespectful, imo. I mean, OF COURSE, there are a bajillion sexy people out there...but it's an insult to me when you do that right in front of me. it would make me think he isn't interested in an exclusive relationship.

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  • I would probably agree with them. Just because they find other people attractive does not mean I am not.

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