How shallow are we really?

When it comes to looks in the opposite gender...

Would you go out with someone "under your league" ?

Would you marry someone not so appealing?

When you talk about someone who is not so appealing do you make fun of them saying "yuck!someone pocked that one with the ugly stick" or do you say it more respectfully "he/she is not the best looking one I saw"


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well personally, I don't think it's "shallow" to not want to date someone you aren't physically attracted to. I would not date someone I don't find physically attractive. That being said, looks are not the only thing that matters, personality matters a lot too. However, looks are obviously the first thing that initially attract people to someone else. I don't think that makes someone shallow.

    But, I would NEVER make fun of anyone just because I am not physically attracted to them. If an unattractive person hits on me I just politely and respectfully decline. There's no need to be rude to someone just because of that.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I'm shallow, I don't rate myself highly in terms of league... But I only date a girl if I'm attracted to her, so no I'd not marry someone not so appealing. It's easy to say it's a bad attitude to have, but would it really be better if I did marry someone who I wasn't fully into? That's just being silly. I think people forget that just because someone is attractive it doesn't mean their personality sucks. Anyway I don't think it's fair to date someone you don't find that appealing, mainly because you're lying to yourself and when something like having sex comes up you'll probably see it more as a chore than a way to express anything. I'd rather be honest than tell someone I think they're amazing when I'm not really thinking/feeling it.

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  • There have been a few times where someone who wasn't all that appealing to me physically became more appealing by the kind of person they were (ie. their values and interests). This is why I wouldn't totally rule out someone who I wasn't initially attracted to. Then I again, I usually don't actively pursue girls I'm not attracted to.

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  • Would you go out with someone "under your league" ?

    I would go out with someone who I thought was attractive, nice and had the same personality and values as me.

    Would you marry someone not so appealing?

    no

    When you talk about someone who is not so appealing do you make fun of them saying "yuck!someone pocked that one with the ugly stick" or do you say it more respectfully "he/she is not the best looking one I saw"?

    I would say they are ugly and only make fun of them if they were -------- and deserved it.

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  • I'm good as long as there's some decent attraction. I try and be respectful as well.

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  • I don't believe in that "league" babble. I click with someone or I don't.

    I think all the things above show an important lack of maturity. Usually a need to feel better at the expense of someone, to hide one's own insecurities.

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  • If the girl is unattractive then there would be no spark between us. The sexual attraction has to be there. More importantly I would want to marry a woman I love. Only if I could have more than one wife would I marry only for looks.

    If my wife is objectively less attractive than me then I will either be too in love to notice or I would know she is not the one for me.

    Hope that helped.

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  • She doesn't have to be a 10 or a female celeb look alike . As long as she has all of her teeth, She practices good hygeine , isn't obese (she has to be in decent shape only for health reasons) has a high sex drive and a good overall personality, I'm good. Trophy wives are overrated, expect and demand to be taken care of, and are usually duds in bed and will cry, or turn into a shrieking nag who will brow beat you into submission if she doesn't get her way.

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  • Judging someone by just their looks is something little kids do or people with no experience in life. Don't do it.

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  • we all care about looks, and there's nothing wrong with that. but there's a long way from caring about looks and only caring about looks.

    to me, looks matter, but I don't expect perfection.

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  • well I don't know do you like kissing ugly people? be truthful here...

    conversly

    well I don't know do you like kissing a**holes?

    there are many good looking people who are not shallow

    and there are many shallow people with good looks

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    • people will usually marry others who are close in attractivness which is a subjective measure (I think, but I'm not sure). also note that there is nothing morally wrong with physically unattractive people, except that they're genes are less healthy, on the flip side someone good looking who is an a**hole/abusive/dysfunctional is also not a good selection for having a child and that is why most people will marry within similar attractiveness.

  • I've asked out girls who I thought were below my league before, even they turned me down. Some will say that I think to highly of myself, but I don't think very highly of myself at all. I have some standards of course, but if I can't find a girl who meets those standards and is actually attracted to me soon I guess I'll have to go another league lower.

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  • Females are way more shallow then men. If the guy doesn't look like Brad Pitt, Justin Timberlake or some other good looking celebrity he ain't getting look.

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  • There has to be some sort of chemistry for me to like someone. Chemistry is a produce of the entire experience and it accounts for everythng such as looks and personality. I have admired girls who I have found less attractive in the past but I feel that I only be happy with the girl who meets a certain threshold both looks and personality wise.

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  • I won't date somebody I'm not attracted to. I don't think it's fair to her or me and I wouldn't want somebody to date me if they thought I wasn't that good looking

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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't make fun of ugly people unless they are ugly on the inside. I have no problem talking about a guy's looks if he is ugly on the inside, but I don't make fun of people if they are nice.

    I don't think so much about "I'm out of his league" as far as looks, because if I like you and find you attractive, obviously you've made the cut. I guess you could say I date within my league because while I don't date ugly men, they've always been reasonably attractive and liked me as much as I liked them. I've dated guys that people have said "oh he's not all that, you could do better" but not anyone ugly. I also haven't dated a guy who was dramatically hotter than me either.

    I would not marry a guy I wasn't sexually attracted to. If there is no chemistry then I can't do it. That doesn't mean he has to be perfect but he has to have something cute about him and some charm to bring it all together

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  • i don't believe in leagues. that's bs .

    if I'm attracted to someone I am. if I'm not I'm not. I've never been attracted to anyone that my friends thought was 'hot enough for me.. I thought my friends were obnoxious and the guys beautiful. none the less.

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  • Both genders want good looking people

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