So often, I'm walking from class to class, and I see a girl who has amazing hair, or great or crazy taste in style, or a shirt that says something awesome.
I feel the urge to just tell them "Your hair is awesome!", "I love your style!", or "awesome shirt". And a girl I know once said "you should never resist the urge to say or do something nice to someone."
And it's cool and all with guys. But with girls, I instantly feel like I'm breaking some sort of personal bubble. "Why the heck is this creep talking to me?" and I can honestly say past experiences have justified this feeling. But I feel that is a pessimistic way to go through life.
We need more people who say good things about each other. But I hate the feeling that women automatically imply nefarious intentions, or that if I compliment how she looks, that all I care about are looks. (It's not like I can compliment the personality of a complete stranger. I mean, really?)
So what kinds of compliments are okay in passing? I mean, surely there's nothing weird about saying you have lovely hair. And I'd imagine anything to do with "boobs" and "curves" are off the table. (I wouldn't really like someone randomly saying "You have a sexy d***!") But what about "you have a lovely face" or something?
They said the part that is offensive is that when these men compliment women, they will take a "thank you" as permission to continue to follow her and hit on her. Or other guys will ignore her boundaries entirely and keep trying to get her attention.
So they say that compliments are offensive and degrading to women. Why demonize compliments, when the compliments aren't the problem, disrespect is?
Most Helpful Girl
I thought about this more than I should have. My apologies.
I generally feel that "Hi" and smiling works better than compliments. It's not that compliments are bad or anything, they can just be awkward in casual conversation. You do seem to know that, most girls do want to be appreciated for more than what they look like. Appreciating someone's looks does imply sexual interest and not everyone is expecting that kind of interest outside of "meat market" venues like the bar or a social event. It can take them by surprise. For example, if a man came up and told you that you had a great jawline or fantastic cheekbones ... you would probably be unsure on how to answer. Obviously, saying "thank you" is the proper way to handle a compliment, but not everyone is a social genius.
I do think people feel more confident on being complimented on style because it represents choice and individuality.
Also, keep in mind that some people are in their own world and are confused when someone talks to them -- male, female, child, adult. I can be one of those people. My thoughts are usually somewhere else, so when someone talks to me, my first reaction can be "huh?" That can come across as stuck up or dismissive, but it's really just me being lost in thought. So the "personal bubble" may not have anything to do with women thinking you're a creep, but to do with stressing over a test or worry about money or even just trying to wake up in the morning.1