How do I stop being the "smart" girl?

I've always felt that my boyfriend liked me more for my personality than my looks. I'm not as attractive as the girls he's been with and it does get to me every now and then. I know most girls out there would love for someone to like their brain over their looks but I wish for the opposite. I just wish someone would find me hot, but that's never happened because I'm "the smart girl." In fact I just asked him to describe me in one word and he said "intelligent." Is there any way to not be labeled smart once someone thinks you are and how do I get him to see me as a sex object instead ?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The first thing that comes to mind is "Be careful what you wish for!" as beauty fades with age but wisdom and knowledge tend to grow. That said, I can understand your plight, as a person wants to be adored as a whole and neither mental or physical attraction alone is enough. I would be lying to assure you that your boyfriend finds you attractive physically in the same sense, though it is likely he may, but to that end it is highly dependent on what you look like and your true potential.

    The suggestions would only be influenced on your natural appearance which in turn means that if you truly lack that potential you are stuck with what you are, but that is rare, and if anything a change in fashion and a fitting for clothing should be more than enough. Mind you being "sexy" is always an uphill battle. Attractiveness is variable not only on your appearance but the timing and placement of your apparel as well. If you try to look your best when your onlookers are focused elsewhere it is just as wasted as when you look your worst and are the center of attention.


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What Guys Said 5

  • It's rare for girls to post this as a problem! Usually it's the other way around.

    The short answer: You can't get rid of your own personality. You'll ALWAYS be the smart girl.

    But hey, a lot of guys find intelligent girls more attractive, especially if they wear short hair and glasses and smile at you over the glasses, and brush aside the bangs when they do that.

    Being sexy is all about the details, not wearing revealing things or making flirtatious remarks.

    Be subtle; that will work with smart. Ask guys if they are hungry, and wink when they start telling you they already had lunch.

  • like another answerer said he wouldn't be with you if he didn't find you sexually appealing. and just because he said intelligent as the word to describe you doesn't mean that he doesn't find you sexually appealing. he probably actually figured you'd rather he that rather htan something objective about your body. I understand the desire to be objectified. Oddly enough I think all people want to be objectified to some extent by their partner (to be thought of as a sexy object). I think you should just make it clear that in addition to be intelligent you are also a sexy and sexual person. you can do that in the way you behave. maybe be a little dirty, maybe dress a little more provocatively.

    but like another poster also said, "be careful what you wish for". once you are seen as an object there is often little chance of being seens as anything else.

  • Act stupid. Like for example Lindsey lohan that stars in the movie mean girls. I think that's what it's called. She's really smart and knows all the answers but pretends she needs help and asks the guy she likes so she can talk to him

  • LOL, the first thing I thought of when I saw 'smart' and 'sex object' in your question is one of Hinoki Sakurai's cosplays link

    Ok, anime conventions aside, I think at the heart of it you just want to raise your attractive power; your other qualities whether they be intelligence or any other quality isn't the problem.

    Sexy is relative from man to man, so for this particular boyfriend of yours you'll want to fit into his idea of sexy. To do that, you'll have to find out what is his idea of sexy.

    After that... basically conform. Feminists around the world are raging as we type. "Oh well" :)

  • Well, if he didn't see you as a sexual being, surely he wouldn't be dating. You're worrying about nothing.


What Girls Said 2

  • Well he clearly likes who you are so don't change that bit. If you're hot and smart you'd get labelled as many other things before smart but you'd also have to accept that some people will under estimate your intelligence.

    All you can do is work on the physical and style etc. Find the type of makeup, hairstyle, clothes that accentuate your good features. It's a lot of trial and error but the difference it makes is huge. Take an interest in your appearance and so will others.

  • smart is hot. if you're physically attractive on top of it that's fin. hew doesn't think you're unattractive because you're smart. and if he di, would you become stupid just for a bf?

    we dk that you're not attractive. we just know you feel you're less so than other women. not much to go on here.,

    • btw. lits of guys tell women who they think are hot that they are smart. and women they think are smart that they are hot.. trying to win them over by compensating for what the guy thinks the woman lacks.

      give a pretty woman a book and a plain woman a hat.. was the saying. him saying you're intelligent may have absolutely no baring on the level if attraction he does or does not feel for you.

    • @if you're physically attractive on top of it that's fine. he doesn't think

      we dk he's not attractd to you physically.

      we dk you're not attractve physically.

      we dk what he thinks IS attractve physically.

      you need to give us something concrete to world with. because everyone has different tastes.

      as far as worrying, well he's dating you so obviously he's attracted to u. but for more work than that ull need to provide.. something tangible we can examine and refer to.