I get very upset when my boyfriend looks at models.

I don't show it on the outside, but it really upsets me on the inside. he likes all these beautiful models with amazing bodies that I look nothing like. it makes me feel hurt, angry, sad and inferior. I would never admit this to him but it really really bothers me. I just get so upset knowing that he likes women who look a million times better than I do, and it makes me wonder if he had a chance with a woman like that he'd probably leave me in the dust. I think that he just feels that I'm lesser compared to them and that he's only with me because he can't have one of them. is this normal and how can I stop feeling like this? I can't just find a new boyfriend because they all look at p*rn and half naked women. I try my hardest to look as good as I can but I pale in comparison to women like that.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Think it this way: Don't you like those male models that don't look at all like your boyfriend? Does it mean that, given the chance, you would dump him for one of those models? If the answer to the second question is "yes", then you're with the wrong guy. If the test went alright, you should have figured by now that liking a model's body and liking your girlfriend's body aren't two incompatible things. Also, liking a woman's body doesn't mean that you'll cheat on or dump your girlfriend if given the opportunity. At least, no if you are a nice and normal person who loves his girlfriend.

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What Guys Said 10

  • The problem is that you think you are "competing" in some way against these women, but you aren't. Those women are in his "they look great, but I don't otherwise care anything about them" group, while you are in his "a person I really care about" group. Those girls are pure entertainment and fantasy for him, but he's fully aware that they aren't "real" to him, and he doesn't even care to try to make them real. They're purely decoration.

    YOU are a real person to him. You MATTER to him, in a way those girls never could. Does that stop him from being a guy? No. Guys are programmed to desire variation, and to be attracted to women, especially visually. You can't change that about men, anymore than you can change women's drive to have relationships, to share their feelings, to want babies, or to be emotional. That's just part of being a woman.

    Those women are no threat to your relationship or his sexual attraction to you. He doesn't know them, and doesn't want to. He just enjoys looking sometimes. It is FANTASY, not reality. And a lot of guys want something very different in their fantasies than what they want in reality. That's normal and common. If you were a blond, big-boobed California girl, maybe he'd prefer looking at brunettes, or petite girls, or girls with big asses, or dark skin, or Asians. If you were short, he might want to look at tall "Amazon" women. A small part of him is going to want to look at something that is DIFFERENT from whatever you are, whatever that is; that's the drive for VARIATION at work. It doesn't mean he WANTS something different as far as a relationship goes, it just means that primitive sexual instinct in him needs to be satisfied, and that can be done with mere visuals.

    The key here is that you are NOT in competition with them. You've WON the competition, and those girls were never even in the race. They're just the generic "hot trophy girls" who will be forgotten about 5 seconds after the trophy ceremony is over, while he'll think of you every single day.

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  • he's with you.

    everyone is going to be attracted to beautiful things, that's human nature (both men and women). I'm sure there are men you find attractive as well. What you're feeling is simply insecurity. you have to be able to separate what he may fantasize about with what is reality. models, p*rnstars, etc are in their profession for the exact reason that they attract people but the attraction is only on a superficial level. I'd imagine you are beautiful and your boyfriend is attracted to you both physically and for a plethora of other reasons.

    try not to let simple insecurities dictate how you feel. remind yourself that he is with me and chose to be with you

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  • Those women usually don't look good at all. They're just a production of five or more people doing everything they know to make them look good.

    My girlfriend also likes to see Ryan Gosling and usually stays longer on his picture than she "should". And I'm not a least bit jealous, because if she would leave me for him just like that, it means she's just superficial. You cannot just leave someone only because someone hotter comes along. Having an affair, that's another story. But I don't think leaving someone that fast is a common option for people. It's just not.

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  • What matters is he's. With you and that is because he desired you at first...looking at models and pretty girls on magazines is definitely guys nature to admire what's beautiful and probably for him,his chances of dating any of them are low...so just be yourself and stop comparing yourself to the models,cause you will end up getting hurt each and every time he looks and admire them

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  • Guys will always look at women. You have to accept that fact. You have to stop comparing yourself, he is WITH you.

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  • He does not compare them to you. He enjoys looking yes but he is happy with you don't worry!

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  • Get over it. Guys will always look and you will always be less attractive than a professional model.

    " if he had a chance with a woman like that he'd probably leave me in the dust."

    He would. So what? He will never ever have a chance with those women, so you're worried about nothing.

    If someone offered you an amazing job at a 6 figure salary, you'd quit your job and take the new one in a second. But no one is going to offer it to you, so your boss would be pretty stupid to be worried about it.

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  • well it gives you a goal to strive to look like.

    or you could stop worrying

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  • well the fact you have a boyfriend, he is with you goes to show you you are desired, don't worry

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  • you don't realize that it doesn't matter. His looking at those beautiful girls is like looking at art kn a museum. It is beautiful to look at but it is not ours. you are good enough. Do not worry about it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It's those women's jobs to look good. You can't compete with that. I don't think it's normal to worry to the extent that you do. I mean if you could get a guy who's amazing looking - say Channing Tatum or whether you prefer - wouldn't you? Yes! It's human nature. You just have to be happy that out of all the women out there he chose you. And if he wasn't happy , he'd leave. Super model or no super model.

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    • Those last couple of sentences are pure gold.

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    • No kidding hey but if you're agile you're going to pick the more attractive person. I said nothing about leaving your current partner just because someone better looking comes along.

  • I know how you feel and I feel the same exact way.

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