What makes people assume that someone has no child based off of just looking at them?

I get this a lot. That I don't look like a Mom and a lot of people wouldn't have guessed I am one unless I tell them.

(I don't dress sexy unless I have an occasion to go to. I dress figure flattering on a daily basis)

What does a "Mom" look like?

This is always shocking to me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To most people they have pre set notions of how someone in a particular role should look like and there's no denying that thanks to the society they live in, their mind set of what they want to believe and topping the list is their own insecurities.

    I don't get judgmental and if I find a mom (or dad) who looks younger / well maintained it's a reason to compliment them :)

    So I say s**** those who judge, do what you want, feel good about yourself, teach your kid the same.

    Just if you want a description, for general (insecure) people a 'mom' means someone who is

    1. Post preg flab on the stomach and / or hips and / or butt even if not fat AND/OR

    2. Does groceries and cooking the whole day or if she's a working woman, looks hassled and discusses kitchen and kids the whole time AND/OR

    3. Is demure and looks the way 'THEY' expect i.e. not in vogue clothing etc AND/OR

    4. etc

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    • I like to change my hair, and wear nice clothes. Some people think I exercise although I don't. I'm pretty slim, but with a bubblebutt. I guess people think I should have a certain body type? And I should look like I don't care about myself? Even if that were true, that's an insult to all parents. Its like saying we have to be sloppy and tired looking to be a parent.

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    • Thanks for your input and apologies not needed. You gave a good answer :)

    • Thank you too again :) appreciate the gesture :)

What Guys Said 9

  • I hear what you're sayin, but I suppose with a lot of guys, when they see a reaonably young woman who's fit and lookin fine they don't stop to think that she could very well be a mother as well. Just another case of the little head thinkin for the big one.

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  • People think a 'mom' should be exhausted and grumpy all the time, I suppose, and not have an incliknatikon to dress in a styuliosh or flattering way.

    But hey, they often DO fit that description, not that I'm blaming them.1

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  • Moms are run down, self sacrificing as life & kid support beats them up - always rushing to avoid being late again. Maybe after you have one or more added on, you'll also assume "the look"?

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  • That's weird. I don't even know how someone could look like a mom or father for that matter.

    That's like saying what makes people look like a virgin or not a virgin. There's no way to tell.

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  • If she has a lot of bags of clothes and she is dressed in high heels and a business shirt people get the impression that they are a single woman with lots of time money and ambitions and no time for children that's what I think

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  • Maybe you have narrow hips and small boobs so they figure you never popped one out.

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    • That would make no logical sense especially based on that alone.

      "All thin women don't have kids".

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    • And when I say unless you are the person themselves (I mean you can only see so much when someone has clothes on).

    • My breast are big and I never had kids

  • Basically if they look young and skinny... maybe small boobs, people would make that assumption.

    There's this girl at my work who is like a walking twig she's so skinny lol. but she had a kid before, and it was a little surprising learning that just by looking at her.

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    • Whoa? lol I am "slim" meaning I am in between skinny and medium. but not "thin" especially like that. I have meat on my bones!

  • Sometimes it is the look of a woman and her body. I have seen you and you totally do not look like you had or have kids. It is a mix of style, body type and demeanor.

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    • You have seen me?

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    • No, I'm not being sarcastic. I don't want you to reveal yourself if you're not comfortable. I think I know who you are because I rarely ever send my photo out. But I cannot be too sure. But thanks for commenting. <3

    • You are very welcome. And I think you do know who I am. I miss talking to you btw

  • Shorter hair, dressed in a non flattering way, maybe 15 pounds overweight...

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What Girls Said 8

  • What makes people assume that someone has no child based off of just looking at them?

    Likely the look of youth, fashion, and weight as I find many assume parents are less physically attractive be it looks or dress sense due to not having time to take care of themselves.

    What does a "Mom" look like?

    Seems generic stereotype is similar to what a "Dad" looks like- less hair (bald/balding for guys and short hair for gals, overweight or out of shape and dressed poorly as in non fashionable or non flatteringly way).

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  • I agree with the others, most people think of a "mom" as a woman who doens't care that much about her looks anymore, because she's had too much in her hands already. If you've watched Desperate Housewives, Lynette is what most people imagine a mom would look like. Loose-fitting clothes, rumpled, maybe stains here and there, no makeup, no accessories that could be grabbed or pulled, comfortable shoes, you get the idea.

    Or maybe you just look too young to be a mom. Take it as a compliment =) Better to be like this that the other way around haha...

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  • People who assume I have a child annoy me so much. I have no kids. I like to go shopping I am 22 I am obviously a college student. I go out to clubs yet I still keep getting asked if I have children and I do not want a child either

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    • By obviously a college student I mean I have a backpack I am on campus alot

    • Well that just shows that mothers look anyway even young. I was your age when I had a kid.

  • Some people I thought they are single or even married they don't seem to be parents till they told me about it. Look young and carefree are the reasons why I mistaken them as single or not parents

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  • Maybe you look young

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  • I get that a lot, but it's because I am ugly. People are always surprised to find out that I'm married with two kids. All of the women from my High School are the ones like that. They all tell me they thought I'd be single forever and no kids.

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  • Sadly most people think they can judge accurately without all the facts. The truth is there is not a set "maternal" look. If there were explain super models having babies. Moms (who shockingly are women) come in all shapes and sizes and from all walks of life. My kids are grown and I look better now than I did when I got pregnant some 22 years ago. I have been told I must have been a teenage mom but I didn't have my first child till I was 23 (frankly that doesn't bother me a lot if I am going to be honest -as I don't mind being told I look younger).

    People who judge without knowing the facts have no common sense and worst of all have no filter on their mouths.

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  • I get the same thing. I am 33 years old and I am always getting told I don't look like a mom and I still in my 20s. As flattering as it is I don't get the whole mom thing either. I dress with all of today's trends, highlight and style my hair for today's fashion, it's long not short and I am always in makeup. I have a younger sister who is 25 so I believe she keeps me feeling young. Plus my best friend is only 23 lol. But I really don't think moms have to look a certain way

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