Body dysmorphia... I dislike the way I look?

This is going to sound like I'm bragging, but I just want to emphasize a point. When I measure myself, I have conventionally great proportions (36-24-36, nice boobs, 125-135 pounds depending on the time of the year). Actual people in the industry (not those fake people that come up to you in the mall) have asked me to model for them but ultimately cannot because of my height (5'4"). They say I have beautiful exotic facial features. Everyone swoons over my hair. But when I look in the mirror, I see ugliness.

I just see a HUGELY fat girl, out of shape, bumpy nose, ugly feet, sunken in small eyes, ugly feet, man hands, horrible skin, comically short legs (my legs are 2-3 inches shorter than the average length of someone my height but they look about 5 inches shorter to me), sagging breasts, etc. I just hate the way I look so much, but everyone else seems to think I'm this model type perfect girl.

I read about body dysmorphic disorder in which you see a person that is not actually you in the mirror. Because of how I look, I'm afraid of singing in public (something I used to love to do), put out my artwork, or speak in large groups of strangers. It kills me because I want to share my talents with the world like other people who know how to sing, play instruments, do sports, etc. But I just want to be hidden, and I'm afraid everyone would basically "boo" me off stage because of how I look, despite the constant compliments I hear from people. Is there something wrong with me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I get you. I get how you feel, and I've been there before, sort of still am. I want to help you because you seem like a great person and nothing, especially not your opinion of your body, should hold you back from what you love. So those are known as really great proportions, so congrats! Most girls would kill for what you have! What I"m guessing the problem is however is that you are so used to seeing all those stick-thin girls in magazines, on tumblr, pinterest, internet, wherever...and when you see yourself, comparatively, you think you look fat. In all honesty, boobs and butts are made of fat. So seeing as those parts are a little bigger on you, yes, you have fat. let me be clear here: YOU ARE NOT FAT, YOU HAVE FAT. Don't cringe when I say that, because you wouldn't be able to live without fat...no one can. even models have fat, in fact, a lot of them have a high percentage of body fat. Big butts are great, and every girl wants big boobs. It's absolutely nothing you should be ashamed of. Also, those proportions might look a little bigger to you since you are shorter, I'm short too, and I'm just saying you might be seeing something a little different..a girl who is 36-24-36 and 5'2" will look a lot different than a girl who is 36-24-36 and 5'8". You could have a bit of body dysmorphia, but I don't think that's you whole problem right there. It's really what you are comfortable with. It seems to me like you like your proportions, so then rock what you've got. If you really see yourself as fat, then I mean running and eating healthy wouldn't hurt. I'm the same height and weight, but have smaller hips than you (I think, after that Thanksgiving dinner I may be up to 40 lol) but I'm a pear so my hips are my widest point, my issue is my legs are too big. We all have issues with our bodies. I googled your proportions and all the girls there seem fine, some a little bigger but I think they were actually bigger than you, so really it's up to you. What I see is a girl with low self esteem and who hasn't learned how to be comfortable with her rockin curves yet. If you seriously can't stand them, trim em down. Otherwise just work on your self esteem because that sounds like all you need. You need to be as positive as the people giving you those compliments. Your insecure...don't know what for...you're turning heads when you walk through the doooor...you don't know you're beautiful..that's what makes you beautiful...

    I'm gonna leave you with that :) If you need more help I'm here, sorry bout the super long answer :)

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    • this made me feel better.

What Guys Said 5

  • A lot of this sounds like a lack of self confidence. Self confidence in a person changes the way we see them and the way they see themselves. I have said this before on this site. I did work with a homely looking woman who was determined not to let her looks get in the way. She out- dressed her female colleagues, wore perfect makeup, was competent at her job, friendly, always pleasant, but also a no-nonsense, self confident woman. Management always respected her opinion. Everyone was always glad to see her coming down the hallway, especially the guys. Her self confidence made her look better than she looked.

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  • BDD is a real illness and it is best to go to a qualified Psychiatrist.

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  • Boooo boooo boooooooooo get off the stage already booooo!

    Normally these compliments are meant for a positive effect on people and there should be a good reason for that. Your fat I mean boobs shouldn't be in the way

    Thing is your probably socially awkward at the moment? Used to be picked on in school? Anything that people say influence this toughtpattern.. perhaps it is because of all the compliments you have recieved from others you try to do better then your best because you think they demand more from you

    Well booooooobye hopefully that helped now get on the stage

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    • i was really chubby and ugly as a child. no one bullied me for it, but they let me know in subtle ways. I suppose I grew into more of an attractive person... either that or I'm still the same person and people are just nice to me

  • Can't because of your height? You know that Kim K is 5'1" right?

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    • I'm talking about modeling for an agency. Not making a sex tape, getting famous because of certain features (butt), and becoming a reality TV star that is constantly called spoiled, useless, untalented... No thanks, lol

  • have you tried seeking a therapist?

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    • i was thinking of going to the health center at my school...i want to know if I see what other people see or if it's just a bad case of self-esteem. seems like the best option.

What Girls Said 5

  • Youve said your good looking...then you said your ugly...it sounds like you know the truth that your good looking, however you lack confidence, self esteem...you need to work on those because looks fade with age and you cannot rely on them to get attention. If your having a hard time already you'll be in horrible shape when everything starts to sag. The answer is inside you.

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    • my problem is that I can get a measuring tape and get those proportions but when I look into the mirror, I see someone very very overweight..it just doesn't make sense

  • If you feel that you're blowing your own image out of proportion, then maybe you do have it. Low self esteem would be "I hate my body shape/weight." Not "I look into the mirror and see fat."

    I would tell you to just not give a fuck but it's a lot easier said than done.

    I'd say visit a therapist. They might be able to help you overcome it. You have to be willing though.

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  • i don't get it, why didn't you accept their offers? you should try.

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  • Well, maybe you are?

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  • work out and eat healthy, if you feel you really need it get plastic surgery then do it, basically do what you have to be happy, maybe you need to just change your mindset to a one of gratitude, be thankful that your not totally obese or don't look really ugly, and be thankful you have legs and can walk... if you look around there is a lot to be thankful for. maybe you need to get outside more... and get out of your head... you think people with "perfect" bodies are totally happy? They likely have issues just like the rest of us... relationship issues, etc. Plus they get old too and rarely anyone looks sexy when they are really old.lol make the most with what you got and don't obsess too much you have so much life to live.

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