Because of my young and innocent looks people always assume I am innocent and nice. This is fine when you are a kid but I'm 21 and need people to stop seeing me in this way. I am 6'2 and skinny and I have a nice complexion and overall I am told I am attractive. My personality is happy, outgoing, and optimistic. I never raise my voice to anybody and I try to avoid confrontation. I always look for compromise which I always think is the fairest way to make a decision but people seem to think this is a weakness. What are some ways I can become more assertive, aggressive, and confident without being a jerk so people will see me as an alpha male?
Most Helpful Girl
I'm kind of the same way. I've always been cheery, optimistic, and bubbly, but in high school I was pretty timid and a total follower. But since I went to college, I've become much more confident and a more natural leader. My high school friends are having trouble adjusting to the change, though, and continue to see me as helpless even though I've changed. However, everyone new I meet picks up on my confidence right away.
The best thing you can do is just gain some confidence. Practice being a leader (in my case, being a leader meant befriending people who were clearly less confident than I was, haha) and the more you practice, the more natural it will come to you. When you do become confident, people will be able to tell. Golden rule: if you have to tell people that you're an alpha, then you're not an alpha.
Also, I don't believe it's your tendency to look for compromise that people see as a weakness. It's your tendency to look for others' approval in the things that you do. When you're an alpha, you do what you want and you don't really care what others' opinions of it are. I've seen an alpha male openly admit to liking the show My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. He wasn't ashamed of it, he backed it up with the reasons he liked it, and that's exactly the kind of confidence that people are drawn to. I should add that this isn't a particularly buff or masculine alpha; he's a skinny nerd guy. Just goes to show that appearance has nothing to do with attitude. :)0