Women are turned on emotionally, verbally, and Men are turned on visually, physically, is that how it is most of the time?

That is how it seems generally, almost all the time, from what I have seen, observed. It seems that when it comes to women attracting men, getting a date or boyfriend, sex, etc. It usually comes down to how the woman looks, her physical appearance, her body, face, etc.

However, when it comes to a man attracting a woman, getting a date or girlfriend, sex, etc. It usually comes down to his social skills, conversation skills, attitude, way of thinking, mentality. He has to walk, talk, sit, stand, breathe, think a certain way. He has to be confident, and having confidence is a mental, social skill thing, verbal thing, etc.

Because you will often times see a fat, ugly man with a hot, pretty, gorgeous girlfriend, a girl that has the body and face of a Supermodel, but you will almost never see a fat, ugly girl with a handsome, hot man who looks like Brad Pitt or David Beckham.
Or you will almost never see a fat, ugly girl with any guy at all, no offense to anyone. Because I don't consider myself a good looking guy, just average. Anyway, is it just how the male and female brains are wired, think?
Anyway, are there any biological or scientific, evolutionary reasons why men are more picky and shallow about looks, and women are more picky about personality? Why are men looks-oriented, and women are verbal, mentally, emotionally-oriented?
like it seems if a woman has a great personality, is amazing in the heart and mind, inside, but she is not physically attractive, she will not be desired and sought after as much.
Do I have valid points here?
Still, women have it easier.
Are women not as big on looks as men are?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey,

    From a pure scientific point of view:

    Being attracted to the opposite sex is caused by the necessity to reproduce in other for the race to survive.

    In order to get optimal results when it comes to offspring, it's best for species to search out certain positive qualities in the opposite sex.

    The optimal choices are:

    For males; a good place to plant their seeds, so a healthy body and good nutritional value (milk> which explains our fascination with boobs) and overall just a good nurturing place that can raise your offspring attracts us.

    All these quality are pure physical, except for the good mother/housewife part which explains why we look at the quality of a body and that it's logical that if a certain type of body will get you the best results you will be attracted to basically everything that resembles that perfect body.

    For females; since, in nature they are physically inferior they have to start looking for a male that can actually get them and their offspring trough everything alive. So survival and providing skills are important for optimal results.

    Survival skills; defending the female and her children etc requires (in nature) bigger muscles etc which explains why women are attracted to muscled or ripped men. Also keep in mind that just as with men and their attraction to bodies, passing on these positive genes to your children will lead to a stronger race in general.

    Providing skills; good hunting skills or simply a good job makes sure that the male can provide for her and her offspring which also increases the survival chances.

    In nature, the most desirable males have both these qualities and are there for the most wanted males (the alpha males).

    In modern day it's easy to spot the alpha's; their confident, have their life on track (good job etc) and know what they want from life.

    Take a look at any group of males and you'll see that there's a leader who makes most of the decisions that the others follow and who attracts most of the females because of his status and alpha male trademarks.

    Don't be fooled by what people tell you; we don't choose what we want.

    Saying that you like buff guys or hot girls just because you think it's hot is like saying you like food because it takes good (the real reason you eat is because you'll die if you don't. But hunger makes us think otherwise and makes us actually enjoy the act of eating, just like nature makes us enjoy the act of reproducing and makes us crazily attracted to each other or else we'd be extinct along time a ago if eating or having sex wasn't enjoyable lol).

    Attraction is not a choice.

    I hope I've answer your question :D

    If you like it, check out a book I co-wrote which also explains allot about attraction at link

    • Makes sense, and I have heard in some cases, the woman takes the initiative and asks the man out, well I see nothing wrong with that.

    • Show All
    • I just wonder if most guys are born with the conversation, social, seduction skills in order to pick up women, or to get a girlfriend, a relationship, etc.

    • No, only the ones deemed fit by nature have the right to reproduce so attract more women and have better seduction skills.

What Girls Said 1

  • I'm more intersested in a guys mental because, well, looks change. Sometimes people's mental's change too but its usually for the better, not worse.

    I'm not going to lie, I do put looks in there somewhat, but I wouldn't date a really hot guy if I didn't connect with him.

    And usually if I'm dating someone and I love their personially and all that jazz, I see them as a very beautiful person. Its not just like that with my boyfriends, everybody really.


What Guys Said 1

  • well I kinda agree with you. I think that for guys looks are definitely what creates the initial attraction for guys and for girls their personality is the initial attraction. But after that guys will look for a personality, because if a girl is too boring or is completely crazy then you don't want to be around her. And for girls, they don't want to wake up everyday to some fat ugly dude, they want someone they are willing to see everyday. The people we are willing to date just need to be above the initial bar of attraction for either looks or personality, then all the other things will factor in.

    • Well what I am saying is, well from my opinion, if a girl has a great personality, beautiful inside, very nice and sweet, but if there is no physical attraction, I will not date her.