How do I help my Self-Confidence? (I don't think I'm pretty)

Ever sense I was younger I've alwaysed had Self-confidence issues. It doesn't help when people always tell me how gorgeous my is mom. or they want to "do her". I'm in high school and people still tell me how pretty my mom is. I stand next to my friends and people will tell them their pretty and give me a weird look. Then when ever I straiten my hair (my hair is really curly) some people say I look better like that. I have glasses and when I take them off people tell me I look better like that. When I wear make-up ( I don't wear make-up unless it's a special acashion) people tell me I look better... It hurts somethimes because they think when I don't look like myself I look better... And then my mom comes and people stair at her and asks me if she is my sister and tells me how pretty she is... I just don't know how to make my self-confidence better... make thoughs things not bother me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It hurts me to see a young woman growing up and thinking her self worth should depend on what other people think about how she looks. I know why it happens, but it still makes me mad at the way we treat each other.

    I had the same thing going on as "a 4 eyed fat nerd" growing up. Until I discovered I could stuff people into the dirt playing football, I had crap for a self image.

    After a hair over 4 decades on this rock I've figured out one thing about how women look. It's actually a cliche, that beauty might be skin deep but ugly goes all the way to the bone.

    It sounds like the opposite of what it actually means. Yeah. Perfect skin, figure, hair, features, etc don't mean squat. That stuff is all temporary, and most of it's beyond being changed anyway for most people. What matters is this:

    Your actions, your character and your feelings. Those are the things that matter. They go all the way to the bone, and if they're good you're good. If they're ugly, that's the kind of ugly that matters.

    Look at Santa Claus. Is he shown as handsome? Nope. Do people still love, even the image of him? Yep. Now why is that? Actions character and feelings. That's why.

    My grandparents aren't pretty, but I miss the ones that are gone, and I love the one I still have.

    Another shallow statement that says something deep is this.

    No matter how good looking she is, there's some guy out there, who's sick of putting up with her crap.

    In other words, how well your physical image matches your perceived ideal, it doesn't matter very much.

    If you want to help your self confidence, DO awesome things. Help people you care about, and make their lives better. Gather useful skills and perfect them. In no time you'll know you can be a way better person than the shallow types that spend all their time just trying to smash themselves into a mold that almost nobody fits. Don't waste your time with it.

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What Guys Said 12

  • First, ask yourself if you look the way you normally look because of your lack of confidence, or if its a deliberate style choice on your part. A lot of people who have poor self image make it worse by dressing in ugly clothes and avoiding makeup, hair styling, etc. Essentially they think (on a subconscious level) that by dressing in such a way, they can hide from the attention of others, but it actually draws negative attention when they're really capable of drawing positive attention. Being pretty takes work and you may have to take a risk outside your comfort zone at first to realize you can pull it off.

    Second, just because someone tells you that you look better a certain way, doesn't mean you look BAD the other way. If I say Pepsi tastes better than Coke, I'm not saying that Coke tastes bad, just that I'd pick the Pepsi if I had a choice.

    Most importantly, don't seek validation in the opinions of others. You absolutely MUST accept that there are people who will always find you unattractive no matter what you do, and you MUST accept that their opinions don't matter. There are billions of people in the world: they all look different and they all have a different idea of what makes a person pretty. If you change yourself to make one person happy, someone else somewhere is gonna be unhappy. You cannot please everyone, it's just impossible. Once you accept that, you realize that the ONLY person who is with you every second of every day is yourself, which means your opinion of yourself is more important than the opinion of others. So define your beauty on your own terms. When you look in the mirror, ask yourself if YOU like what you see, not whether other people would like it. And never question whether you look as good as such-and-such celebrity, because I guarantee that not everyone thinks that celebrity is that good looking: it's all personal.

    Finally, I'll add that there are ways to style really curly hair that are really fun and funky and sexy, and that glasses are super trendy and can be incredibly chic, so you don't need to straighten your hair or take your glasses off to look really cool.

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  • "I have glasses and when I take them off people tell me I look better like that. "

    Then you either have VERY ugly glasses or you're an exception. I have rarely seen a girl looking better without her glasses. Guess what? Most girls who THINK they're ugly with glasses feel perfectly OK with sunglasses.

    I understand your mom is pretty. I bet you're pretty too. A pretty but insecure teenager. You're not the first and you're not the last. Join the majority.

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  • I'm sure you are fine looking looks aren't everything having a good personality and having character will go farther then looks while it is nice to look good. No one wants to date a smoking hot girl who is a stuck of bitch excuse my language.I would rather be with a average looking girl with a nice personality and interesting character then some hot girl who is stuck up and has a bad personality. while I care what the outside looks like I care what's on the inside more and there are other guys who think like me.

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  • Time is your best friend. The moment you see that you are a one of a kind person who is to experience life in that masterpiece you call a body, will the day your feel freedom.

    You are good at things other than makeup and glasses find them and go for your true purpose. Everything in time will change. Your mothers beauty will pass the moment you realize your own hidden beauty which lies inside you.

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  • Honestly, most women look better when wearing makeup as opposed to without, but some can get away without it. Most women look better without glasses, but some can rock them and be sexy. Curly hair may not be as big of an issue, but not everybody looks good with curly hair, some look better with it. The more you try to enhance the way you look by doing the little things, the more confident you will feel in your appearance. You will radiate confidence and you will be instantly more attractive than you will be by doing any of the aforementioned things alone.

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  • i don't see how using make up or taking off the glasses makes you a different person. I bet your mother puts make up and wears contacts. it doesn't change who you are. if I change my hair style to fit my face shape does that mean I changed? or shave my beard to look better? or wear slim fit? I am the same person looking better for my shape.

    anyway try "rate my pic" app may be you will realize you don't look as bad as you think.

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  • I don't know why girl women are like this, this question comes up 20 times a day. Don't you know if you give a guy attention you have a higher chance of getting there attention than if it where the other way around? Ask older women they should know, most of them won't give a phone number out just to be nice. If a women go ask for a guys number being just a little attractive chances are they will get it.

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  • If people are telling you you are pretty, believe them. But confidence comes from within, not what other people say to you. It's not a matter of "If you don't look like yourself you look better"...You're you in both instances.

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  • The matters of ascetics comes down to personal preference and therefore it only matters what you think. That being said I just follow the old 'i don't care what you say, I'm sexy' philosophy.

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  • Just ask people if they think you are pretty, or do a reality check on GAG (with real photo) and see what people rate you, or what they comment.

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  • one thing I can tell you is when I was in grades 1-4 I was a really handsome boy. then I started maturing till the age of 18 - I looked average handsome then through till now I am 27 I became very handsome. just like my father. between the ages of grade 4- the age of 16 I was pretty ugly. no one bothered me in hs - I was invisible. but from grades 5- the age of 16 I was made fun of a lot and it really made me think I was ugly. it REALLY affected me. A LOT.

    but I can assure you that you will become the AVERAGE looks of both your parents looks. so if one of your parents looks good you can expect to gain their qualities.

    besides I wouldn't worry you will become as attractive as your most attractive parent its just that you havnt matured yet. you will continue maturing till the age of 30 you will hit your peak at 30. but you will continue to grow past 30.

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  • confidence is a lie made up by women to reduce unnatractive male sucides by saying we uglies have a chance , when all girls want is good looking guys . don't worry you are a girl , you probably have 20 guys who want you , you should initiate

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What Girls Said 2

  • In time you will grow to love yourself and the opinions if ithers won't bother you ad much if at all. Its notbyou, its them. You are beautiful. Know that.

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  • Well you can't do anything about what other people say and what comes out of their mouths.

    I think something that helps with self-confidence in a round about way is doing activities that you enjoy doing and are good at doing. This tends to lead to meeting more people who have the same hobbies.

    Meeting people that like you and accept you helps to add self confidence.

    This is my theory

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