How important are looks in a relationship?

If you really liked someone for their personality, they were great in every way, but they just didn't physically attract you, would you still try to make it work?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • story answer: My ex husband (12 year relationship) started off as one of my best friends. I respected him and knew he would be a good husband and father. He was so funny and we always had such a good time. I loved his family and the traditional upbringing he had (opposite from mine). He's not unattractive, but I personally was not physically attracted to him. I thought that would grow, and it didn't. This caused a lot of guilt for me and stress for him. He became very controlling and obsessive because of the insecurity from my not being capable of showing sincere desire for him. The result was that I lost everything in him that I did love. This wasn't the sole reason for the end of the marriage, but I can see that it was a contributing factor. What I learned was that for me personally physical attraction is important, and should be balanced with other traits that I look for. On the flip side, I would not want to be with a man that only liked my personality. I need my partner to be physically attracted to me and desire me.

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What Girls Said 2

  • In every romantic relationship there must be a physical attraction because if there isn't, honestly it really just won't work.

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  • I can't date somebody on personality alone. If I don't want to have sex with you then I'm not dating you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Regardless of what you may have been told the simple reality is that humans are one of the least dimorphic species in the animal kingdom and as such physical attributes are important for both sides. The actual method of selection is clearly different, but how a woman or man perceives a personality is focused through a physical lens. You can tell for instance to a rough degree how good a man's immune system is by looking at him due to lymph node and pore structures (although it's not the best example).

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  • No way...IMO attraction is THE key component between "friend" and "lover".

    Having a girlfriend you're not physically attracted to is cheating yourself and her.

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  • IF I don't like her physically then there's no way I'm going to like her in all the other ways... I need attraction first, then her personality would make me decide if I'd want to really be with her...

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  • Nope. It's all about money and looks to women. Guys will setlle but women wont.

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